... Golden Ears ...

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"The old man is dead", declared the doctor. Doctors can be emotionless.

"Finally!" everyone sighed. When you live long, even loved ones can get emotionless.

"Let us open the journal", the eldest son said.

"Should we not call some lawyers?" asked his wife.

"This is no will. He made no money to write one. Just some thoughts of his! He wanted us to read after he is dead", another son mentioned. 

"Don’t say 'dead'. ‘After his soul leaves the physical manifestation’ is how he would put it". 

At 102, his family tree was so big that it is impossible to mention who spoke.

"Let us dismantle his laboratory and make more rooms.”

“He thought of himself as an alchemist.”

Everyone laughed.

"Is it so important to read that?"

"At least he made us feel so"

They finally opened it.

“You are about to find a treasure. Go to my laboratory, open the box with the note ELIXIR, bring out three spoons of the yellowish fluid and pour over my navel. Just three spoons it is. Once you do it, the next lines will appear here”.

"Don’t do anything. We are being fooled here. Get him to the crematorium fast"

"Who knows, we may actually find some treasure?"

"You think the next lines will appear after we do?"

"Let us try"

They did. He turned green. To their awe, the next line appeared on the journal.

“Good job. Next step is very important. Go to the fourth shelf in the laboratory - with a note -40F. Pick out the bottle of LEAD, heat it up to 150F and pour it into my ears, exactly 10ml in each ear. Be careful, else you may lose your treasure.”

"This is getting crazy. Was he into black magic? How will this get me the treasure?"

"Please make it get *us* the treasure."

They did it half-heartedly. They heated it up only up to 140F. No new line appeared. The old man's ears fell off. A new line appeared - Try again. They did, with more caution. Pouring the lead into the ear-hole was tough. But they managed to. A new line appeared.

“Lousy people!! Be careful at this final step. Open the fifth shelf under my table. You see a note as 'PHILOSOPHER'S STONE'. Get it here and hit my butt forcefully 5 times. Only 5 times!!”

Every one of them had goose pimples. They did, without speaking a word.

Very Good! Now go to the laboratory. Shut the door and search for pieces of gold in every shelf there. Every one of you, go there. What you find is yours. 

They found nothing. They looked at the journal to see for more notes.

I am sorry to have fooled you. Your treasure is right here. I have turned my bed into gold. See you all.

The old man, including his physical manifestation had gone.

"He indeed is an alchemist", they said.

His ears were lying there. They too had turned gold.