Little World of Carnivas

... Geek turns Manager ...

2010-02-14T04:44:00.000-08:00

Prologue

When Venkat reached home from office, his wife & son were in deep sleep. This has been the case for many years now. Only Sundays are reserved for his family. He kissed his little son and tried to sleep. But he could not sleep. His thoughts were still filled with what happened during the meeting early that evening. It was a meeting to congratulate Venkat on completing 15 years in his company. He would carry a green colored ID card from the next day. Every speaker in the meeting was of wholesome praise to Venkat. Obviously, the kind of growth he has seen recently has been unprecedented in the company's history. After trying hard in vain to sleep, Venkat moved to the balcony and lit a cigarette. And started thinking about the day 5 years back when he was congratulated for completing 10 years in the company and the story after that.

The Past

The meeting held 5 years back had only a handful of people attending. Venkat was leading a team of just 10 people. Those 10 and his boss were the people in the meeting. No words of praise spoken, the boss just said 'Congrats', handed over the certificate. That was it. In contrast, many of his peers had meetings that 100s of people attended. They were so popular. He saw his own team enthusiastically singing praise of his peers. But they would not open their mouth in his meeting! For the first time in life, Venkat felt bad about himself. He was THE expert in his field of work. Nobody else in the company knew as much about embedded web servers as he did. But still he was not popular. He was not directly rude with people but had this air of arrogance around him. People did not want to talk to him anything beyond work - they would avoid even that if they can.

Venkat was the 'geek' he envisaged while in his college. He had achieved that. He was the GURU in his domain. He cared a damn for the organizational rules - he wore khadi shirts and bathroom slippers to work, on any day of the week. 'My contribution to the company comes from my knowledge, not from my shoe' was his argument. He would not heed to requests from his managers on documenting his knowledge; he would tell them 'Yes I shall' but later say to others 'I am not dying soon so why all these?' He was an expert that people respected but dreaded to deal with him on anything! He had very less friends in office and zero close friends. He went for coffee, lunch etc all alone. And he liked it that way.

But after 10 years of work, Venkat did not seem to like it very much. He craved for people's genuine friendship. He wanted people to respect them but also like him. After all, his peers of the same experience were managing live projects with more than 50 people reporting to them while he had 10 fresh out of the college kids working on an internal project. What he wanted was for people to genuinely like him or that he wanted to control more people is debatable.

Late that evening, Venkat reached out to the business card that a career counselor had given him during a recent leadership program. He thought he wanted some of the gyaan in personality development that he had considered as nothing but 'hot air' all along!

The Transformation Begins

Two months later, visible changes started appearing in him. Unkempt hair, bathroom slippers, torn jeans, a rude frown to people who do not understand his language were all a thing of the past. His sensitivity to other's opinion was profound.

Day after day, Venkat's profile in the company increased. He requested his team to be moved to the tower (as different buildings were called) where the CEO sat, that was indeed the nerve center of the company. All dignitaries, political and business people, who visited the country, were taken around that tower to show the company's capabilities. Intuitively, Venkat knew that was the place he should belong. Seeing the changes in him, the senior management also agreed to move his team there!

Once being in the new place, there was no stopping Venkat. He started representing his division in several senior level meetings. His boss had several other delivery responsibilities and could not attend it every time. This was a meeting that helped Venkat build the most important assets - his allies in access to power. More importantly, this was a meeting that the CEO also attended whenever he was in India.

Changes in individual attributes

Venkat always had the brains. He had the focus in his work. No one would ever doubt his stamina - he spent a solid 14 hours at work for years together! When these got combined with characteristics like sensitivity to others, being flexible and getting along with others, that was a deadly combination.

One incident he would always remember was the proposal document on Bluetooth hardcopy cable replacement protocol (HCRP) implementation that was made to one of the prominent customers. Getting that project would mean that Venkat's team moves from being an internal technology development team to one with real customers! Whatever great one did in an internal project, they never come to limelight until somebody starts paying! Venkat had missed many a chance to get into a commercial project - because of him being a stickler! He would not agree to even the slightest of the compromises in the proposal. If there was a statement that a module was complete while it was still being tested, Venkat would not agree - and the project bid would not be successful. What more, by the time the news of the lost bid comes, Venkat would also break the news that the particular module under question was also ready – it had passed all tests!

But this time, Venkat had become street smart. The proposal had all elements to make the bid successful. The company got the project and Venkat was the manager - facing a prominent customer for the first time as a manager!

Resources & Allies

While this raised the profile of Venkat in the upper echelons of the company's management, there were indeed jealous noises from his peers. The transformation in Venkat had answers to them also! By way of the proximity to the top management, Venkat developed a lot of allies and managed several non-project initiatives in the division. Whenever there was committee formed to work on anything, new appraisal management system or Balanced Scorecard Implementation or anything, Venkat was a member - at least a consultant to it. At this time, Venkat knew the GOLDEN RULE - the one who has the gold rules! Several decisions were taken in the interest of the company - but also that favored and advanced his own position in the company. Soon he was promoted as his division's head. From being a project manager, no one before had got a chance to become a division's head before spending 5 years. Venkat became one in 3 years - 2 years after the transformation.

Once becoming the division head, Venkat had even more resources to control. People who were once bosses had now become peers and jealous ones at that. But Venkat was not perturbed. He built a powerful alliance of lower level managers who would do anything for him. To make them his allies, he would do some personal favors to them or even play around with plum onsite assignments and promotions. All those people indeed were deserved to get those assignments and promotion. But Venkat would successfully portray to them that it happened because of him.

Impression Management (& Change of colors)

Throughout these days, Venkat mastered the art of impression management. His personal development coach had specific instructions for him - to monitor the impression, to be motivated in creating the impressions and carefully constructing them! In fact, Leary's model was practiced with perfection. His impression management style was more self focused though certain elements of manager and job orientation was also visible.

Whenever there was a crisis in the company, Venkat's services would be sought. He established a position of a great fire fighter as also a brilliant strategist. Venkat would change his colors based on the context - during a crisis, he would make the right noises about the short term tactics while in other meetings, and he would talk about long term strategies.

For example, there was a project (in another division) that was running awfully behind schedule. As was the norm, Venkat was called for the Root Cause Analysis meeting. Venkat suggested a few changes in the resource structure by which the best people were put on the problematic modules. This was a brilliant move and the project was back on schedule in a few weeks. However, the efforts took the toll on the best people. One of them felt insulted by this sudden role change & enormous effort that he has to put in and quit the company. He was a veteran of many years in the domain and his absence would leave a big void in the company.

This was discussed during the SBU meeting. In front of the SBU Head and even the CEO, Venkat suddenly asked the division head (where the problem occurred and resource structure was changed) - 'How can you ever put your best resources into a problem area? Remember; put your best resource in projects for the future! Not into problems and dying projects'. That was a shocker to the other division head but he did not utter a word because antagonizing the blue eyed boy of the management in front of the management would mean disaster to him. After the meeting, Venkat walked up to him and said, 'Dilip, it is true that I had advised to move the resources but you should have moved them back in a couple of weeks'. Dilip, who was Venkat's boss once, silently nodded his head.

Use of source of power & framing

In another couple of years, Venkat was considered the most successfully division heads in the company even though the businesses he generated were much below other people. He knew exactly when to blow his trumpet and when to be silent. He knew what powers he had, what its sources were and how to use them. First he established himself in a good position in a network and derived relational power. Through that, he achieved positional power too and all these contributed to his personal power too.

The language he would use was excellent. He knew exactly when a glass was half full and when it was half empty. He was a master in framing statements to suit his needs. For example, when there was a heavy attrition (of over 30%) in his department, it was reported as a case of 'good riddance and a chance to infuse new blood to the department to infuse much needed innovation' while a similar case in another department was spoken about as a case of 'having serious implications to the future of the business with the most capable people quitting the place in frustration'.

Epilogue

Venkat was intrigued when a research student from a local management school approached him to study his rise to power. He politely refused to entertain him and made a BhagwatGita-ish statement, 'You cannot actively seek power. Power happens. Do your duty and the fruits will appear on their own'. Deep inside his heart, he knew what the duty to do was.

Just 5 years back, he would feel jittery when he did not open the source code and fix at least one defect in a day. Now he hardly even sees a proposal document. His work involves shuttling between meeting rooms, often located to different parts of the world and give gyaan. He enjoyed it, more than fixing a defect.

Venkat had completed his fifth cigarette by then. It was close to 3 am. Venkat knew that the day when he would be the SBU head was not far away. There was a new SBU planned for the Far East and he was the most capable in most people's eyes. There were detractors, senior and junior, but he knew how to tackle them. After all, he is a veteran of power, influence and impression management for several years now.

PS:

This case was developed as part of academic submission and not to demean or insult any individual. The analysis intends to say that an individual attains power through various means in an organization – this does not mean that he acted against the interests of the organization. Clearly, his actions were towards the betterment of the organization and his own rise was a consequence – or so it was made to believe.

PPS:

Those who know the "story" behind it, laugh it out aloud :)

... Way Back ...

2009-06-12T00:27:00.000-07:00

I am back in my hometown after so many years. I was not very much willing to go away, but then, during those days you respected your superiors so much. Not like the kids of these days - who respect neither their bosses, nor their teachers. Parents never figure in the scheme of things at all for them.

How long and eventful my stay was, I wonder, as the driver picks up my luggage and stacks them on the vehicle. The town has changed a lot during these 14 years. It seems like a festival season - everyone celebrating with lights, crackers and what not. Wait, my dear people, will go freshen up and join you guys soon.

When I was initially told about this new assignment at the timberland, I did not like it one bit – it was coming at the expense of my promotion – but who cared to listen to me. Superiors are superiors, aren’t they? They have their own pulls & pressures. Strange are the ways of the people on top, particularly father-figures who are strange bed fellows, rumored to have slept with one thousand people, making weird promises at the drop of a hat. Suckers!

As I said, nothing much could be done. So, accept, I did. The only good part being that I could take my wife along. My kid brother too joined me. Poor thing, he would be bored without me anyways. Wifey, good at heart, treats this kid brother as her own. He too is very respectful of her.

As the driver moves along, I realize how much the traffic has increased these days even in this town. What used to take only about 30 minutes about a decade and a half is now taking more than 2 hours! But this is a perennial thing, isn’t it? I am sure even during the mesozaic era, the dinosaurs have complained of traffic problems of some sort. Of course, we cannot speak to the dinosaurs now but for sure, we can talk to the primates who resemble us and who are friends with us. By the way, where is that primate who travelled with me? Well he is off to sleep. Hey mischievous minds, I am not calling my brother a primate, OK?

I was indeed offered the job back here when I was deep into my new assignment but I declined. Losers, they were not worth more than my dirty sandals, I said.

Wife & Bro too doze off. The journey has been pretty hard on them. Not to speak of the travails they sustained all these years. We got to plan a family soon. My wife might actually reach her menopause soon.

I have a secret suspicion that she is cheating on me. Wonder how to ask her. Don’t get me wrong. It is not that she is someone of a bad character or something. But the ‘Stockholm syndrome’ she seems to possess, pisses me off. I know, she was tricked into it by the captor and she was innocent then. But the kind of things she keeps yacking about he being pious blah blah annoys me.

Sometime soon, I will ask her to prove that she is pure, by torching herself.

Suddenly someone who knows about Sita's plight at the foreign land shouts at me ‘Ram, who knows, may be your wife slept with Ravan. Torch her and check it out’. Yes, now I get the approval.

Stone Age practice, you may say if you read this in 2009, but then it was OK 5000 years back.

****

PS:: Thanks to Panna, Soorya, Rajesh & Sheetal for comments on the draft. Submitted to a competition in aapees.

… Some 55 Words …

2009-05-31T02:23:00.001-07:00

Three “55 words” here.

Originally, I wanted to write them as short stories but they have spent too much time on my To-Do list without any action. So 55 words, they become.

Don’t believe the watchmen

"House-warming… Sathish?"

Directed to left.

Lots of shoes. Tam-Bram noises. Smell of coffee.

Mamis in madisar, younger generation in jeans. Many smiled. One offered coffee. None, I knew: Should have come with Krishnan.

“Sathish” came out. Oh no - Wrong house. Escaaape.

Another house there - Tam-bram noises. Lot of shoes . Is that Krishnan's?

God & Alcohol

"Life after death? Bullshit. To you – God, to me - Alcohol, forget-sorrow-mechanisms"

As usual, wants her to agree. She ignores: writes Sriramajayam the millionth time. Ruined finances took him to drinking, her to God.

No food on the table. He turns angrily - to see his own photo above her head, with a garland.

Daily Ritual

He shut the door.

Google Wave video, mention to Prakash, Presentation to boss, Impress, India making such a product? Forget it.

Ramya angry, always complains, I need my space, tell her, be harsh? Forget it.

MasalaBabes, good site, cleavage shows, Ash videos? Hey Forget it.

Coffee, hungry…

Beep beep. Done with Meditation. Reach God soon?

... The Secret Angel ...

2009-05-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

[Published on the day of the first anniversary of my engagement. Readers are free to make their own interpretations] :=)

"Abhey Venkee, Facial kar le... That is when Meghna's Dad will like you..." said Kapil as he left the salon.

"HaHa no yaar... Bas hair cutting will do"

The salon guy got interested.

"Going to see girl, Sir?"

I did not like it but cannot help. Most hairdressers in Bangalore are Telugu people. And are talkative.

"Yes"

"Sir, facial will be good for you... See lot of blackheads on nose..."

"That is OK yaar... Just hair-cutting... I am getting late..."

"I will finish in 15 minutes Sir"

I yielded. For the first time in my life. Was I really worried that Meghna's dad would reject me? If the question on your mind is - "Why the Dad and not the girl would reject" - it is not entirely a wrong question. Read the story and you will know.

As he started applying some Goddamned cream on my face

"I am surprised yours is arranged marriage, Sir. These days all IT peeppul only love marriage"

"Who told you mine is an arranged marriage?"

"Love marriage Sir?"

"Actually both... What is this that you are applying? I get a burning sensation"

"Sir this is bleaching... will do this first and then facial..."

"My God, you said 15 minutes..."

"That is for facial Sir.. This will take only 30 minutes..."

Shit man. Got fooled.

"Total how much time"

"About one and a half hour Sir"

"Oh God..."

A Telugu movie starring the great (d)Rama Rao was playing in the TV there.

After 5 minutes, "Bored Sir?"

"Indeed man"

"Tell me your marriage story Sir... Is this love and then arranged Sir?"

God, he will not leave me. So my dear readers, as I narrate the story to him, you too get to hear.

*************************

Momentous day #1

'But this is NOT what I wanted...' shouted that girl who in the opinion of my trained eyes (!) was about to be twenty.

'Ma'am... I remember hearing it well... You wanted it crispy.... May be, may be you forgot...' mumbled the hapless waiter.

'You are trying to ARGUE with me? I want to talk to the manager RIGHT now!!' she screamed.

'Calm down, Riddi... That is OK....' said an early-twenties-thing who had come along with her. They were about 5-6 of them, all kids (kids = college going chicks). Should be from Hill Caramel I thought. They frequent this Chinese joint in Cunningham Road as much as we do. Not that we visit the place for that purpose though :-) But I should say it is indeed refreshing to be in Cunningham mid-way through work.

The waiter started sweating. Poor guy. I felt bad for him. I got very angry at this girl. This is not the way to behave - not at least when some people are discussing something serious in the next table! Yeah you guessed it, I was there with my friends having lunch, discussing about our planned venture. All of us were at an MNC in Millers Road with 'an itch in you-know-where'. It was boom-time in the Indian economy and quitting a high-paying job at an MNC to 'follow the heart' (as it was called then) was in vogue.

The poor guy went to bring his manager.

And to my surprise, these things started giggling.

'Bechara, aisa kyon karti ho... You ordered it crispy na? Tum to choupsey ho to hamesha crispy lete ho'

'Arey.. He deserves it... Bahut flirt karne ki koshish karta hai na...'

'Oh Common... Woh to sab karte hain...'

I know that the HC (as the Hill Caramel people called it) girls have this 'attitude' in them. The one who shouted had loads of them. The one who pacified her was also no less. I was continuously staring at her with a frown. We were all silent. First, I hate girls with attitude. If there is something that can cause me more anger than the sight of a girl with attitude, it is when I see her giggling. And it was happening here. My friends realized that I was about to lose temper and were signaling our waiter to get the bill soon. But they could not stop what was a life-changing event for me.

The manager and the waiter came.

'Ma'am, any problems?'

'Your waiter did not tell you?'

'...' he turned towards the waiter. I knew that he knew - It was part of their protocol for the manager to get angry at the waiter. Customer is always King. The manager would have been taught this in his Services Management course!!

'See... I wanted American Choupsey non-crispy... And he brought me a crispy one...'

'I am so sorry Ma'am... We will just replace it...'

'I do not want anything... It is too late now... But I will not pay for it...'

'That is OK ma'am... But please accept our apologies and let us serve you what you wanted...'

'I said I do not want...' she screamed again.

That is when I lost whatever little patience was left in me!

'Hey listen... I overheard whatever you guys were talking when that guy was away... Why do you do this? Don't you understand there are others here? Don't you know how to behave in a public place?'

'What is YOUR problem???' said that early-twenties-thing (ETT).

'My problem is that you guys are creating a mess and spoiling my lunch. Now, just shut up and get out of here!'

There was a bit of commotion among them. And they slowly went away. ETT alone waited to pay the bills. We both were staring at each other with all contempt in the world. My friends had finished paying our bills and they dragged me out.

'Venkee, these Hill Caramel girls are dangerous. The children of all big-shots in Bangalore study here.'

'God knows whose daughter you just insulted'.

'Don't be surprised if a tempo full of goondas reach your place tonight'

were all some of the comments my friends (especially Kapil) gave. But my thoughts were all fixated at the girl who looked into my eyes and asked 'What is YOUR problem?'. I was thoroughly pissed off with her now, more than the girl who screamed at the waiter. Or so I thought.

*************

"Looks like Junior NTR story Sir...". I was not sure if he was complimenting me or ridiculing Junior NTR. I smiled.

He removed the bleaching thing (they use it to clean toilets, no?) and started blowing hot air from a small hand fan onto my face. It was so hot that I almost wept.

"Thinking about Madam, Sir?"

"Hell with you, take the fan out man"

"That is OK Sir".

I got to say if it was OK or not, bloody hell.

He started applying something else on my face now. It was stinking.

"Okay, continue the story Sir"

*************

Momentous day #2

If your expectation is that it was not our last meeting, you are correct. In the next couple of weeks, we happened to meet at Infinitea, Pizza Hut, Cafe Coffee Day and even outside Chandrika (Sagar style restaurant) where I used to puff my stress out every evening. Almost all the times, when they would look at us, they would all giggle. I was pretty sure that they were making fun of me/us. But my friends would restrain me from getting into an altercation with them. Even I felt it was not wise to go fight with some immature college-kids. But that was not to continue for long. My anger at the ETT only multiplied every time I saw her.

One day when Kapil and I were on our way back from an after-lunch walk, the girls were standing at the Baskin-Robbins take-away shop. And as usual they started giggling. Kapil was in a hurry to reach office, his boss had called him up asking for a useless report. He advised me not to react but I could not. I told him to leave. He told me to close this issue once for all and then come to the office. I stood there. And gave a complete minute-long stare without saying a word. The girls were obviously taken aback. They fell silent and were looked very uneasy.

Content that my ploy worked, I started walking towards the office. After I took a few steps,

'Excuse me...'

I turned back. It was the ETT. The group behind was still giggling.

'Can I have a minute of yours?'

'...'

I stood silent. Is it not 'May I have..', I thought Hill Caramel imparted good English knowledge.

'I am extremely sorry...'

'... Sorry??'

I wore a confused look.

'Er... I said I am sorry.... It was our fault that day... We should not have behaved like that... But you know, when we are in a group, we tend to lose some decency'.

'That is OK... In fact.. In fact I should not have shouted at you guys too... It was none of my business'

What was happening to me? I was supposed to be angry with this girl and I am talking so softly. Luckily, Kapil went away, else my 'hardliner' image would have taken a beating.

'Hey no... There was no mistake at your end.... Actually I have been wanting to apologize to you for long... But my friends would make fun and not let me...' Indeed, they were still giggling there.

Why was I getting suddenly conscious about my looks! She was certainly not the first girl to talk to me. I have frowned upon so many girls before that have tried to be 'friends' with me. But now? Am I actually flirting?? I was really confused.

'Well, good we talked it out today... By the way, I am Venkee"

"I am Meghna"

"Meghna! Nice name. Alright Meghna, I got to go now... See you then'

'Oh... yeah... we are jobless.. I know you would be busy... See you then... But when & where?'

'...'

I should say I was indeed stumped.

'Tomorrow evening at the Coffee Day in MG Road?' How the mind works overtime in times like these. I knew that Cunningham Road Coffee Day is not the best place with a lot of my friends and colleagues passing by.

'Sure... My classes get over by 4-30... Is 5 OK?'

'Oh no problem... By the way I can pick you up from your college if needed...'

'That would be great...'

I could just not believe what I had done. I was not a 'girls-guy' at all. And in a matter of minutes, I have fixed the time for my first date! God, is this true??

*****************

"Oh super love story Sir, first fight and then love-ahhhhhh..." What an horrible slur these people have.

He had finished applying the cream now. And put on those cucumber pieces on my eyes. I had only seen them on top of women's eyes in TVs and films. Do they put in on men too? Is he cheating?

He chose a comfortable seat and thankfully switched off the TV. My story was better than old NTR movies I believe.

"Then what happened Sir?"

*************

The Next Day & What happened after!

I told my friends that I had an appointment with an angel and left office early. It was not my mistake if they thought it was an angel investor!

Riding an Avenger itself is fun. With a girl sitting behind you, it is even better! Applied the 'longest-path' algorithm and took her to MG Road. She spoke. And spoke. And spoke. And spoke. And spoke. Yeah she spoke so much that it was 4 hours before we realized. It was time for her "special classes" to get over so had to get back home. Of course, I dropped her off near her home at Ulsoor.

This one day should stand as one of the most important days in my life. I do not have sisters, nor any close enough she-cousins. My schooling was in an all-boys school and in engineering, you know the ratio of boys to girls. Even the few ones that are around are usually 'already taken'. That left me with a life that had been spent entirely without any interaction with members of a group that comprised half of the world population! (Forget mothers, they are 'mothers', more than women, no?). I was fully immersed in what you may like to call 'love'. I was really not sure if she shared the same feelings. After all, she had been brought up in a 'city' all through - with boys-voys in every school/tuition she had attended. And I was a small-town boy trying to establish myself in the big-bad city (just feels good to write this way, don't mind!)

She was so open and cheerful. We had several common interests ranging from psychology to epistemology. [See, writing words like epistemology gives an author some ego boost. And it also gives the reader an impression that s/he is reading something worthwhile & important. So it is essential for such words to be sprinkled across]

Among so many things she said, I remembered only the last thing. They 'played' something called 'Secret Angel' in her college and the game was about to start the next day - so she was all excited about it. It was amusing to know that people can get excited about such things - I thought only 'productive good-to-the-society' kind of things should excite someone, not something as simple as secret angel or who will win Indian Idol. In my opinion, reading newspapers was a low-value activity. Watching TV was actually a crime - Then!

I owe the reader an explanation here on what "secret angel" is. In short, here it is - Every girl in the class is told to 'gift' another girl (chosen by lot) everyday for the next 7 days without revealing her identity. After receiving gifts for 7 days, you get to know who the 'angel' who gifted you was. Nothing more. Sounds childish, no?

I went back and told my partners that this angel (investor as they thought) was no good and we should look for another. In my mind though, I was clear that this was THE angel.

The next week was fully spent in actually creating our business plan - marketing plans, customer acquisition strategy, partners acquisition strategy, cash flow analysis and what not! In case you are interested, our business plan was simple - To aggregate bus tickets from all private bus operators in Bangalore and sell it over the Internet. This actually was an issue that each one of us suffered from – Every time we needed to go home (as in - to our native towns), we should go stand in queues of the bus operators in Madiwala, Kalasipalayam etc and if we were lucky, we would get a ticket. Only a few had online ticket booking facility but there was no one to aggregate all of it. So our plan was to aggregate tickets and sell it at 50 bucks more. A customer problem is solved, dynamic ticketing mechanism for suppliers (bus operators) provided and the extraneous middlemen cut off (travel agents). Oh yeah, we were the new middlemen but 'good' ones - if such middlemen exist :) We had even named our company as 'Orange Bus'.

I do understand here that the reader is bored with this and wants to read the love story further. So let us continue with that.

Over that week, I would receive SMS-es and emails from my 'angel' about the gifts she received that day and how it was something 'exactly' what she liked or wanted. ((Well I got to know during this time that something called 'nail polish remover' existed and someone can actually be happy getting that as a gift!!)) There was no time to meet up so I had told her that we would meet up a week later. If I remember well, during the first six days, she had received a cosmetics-kit (including nail polish & its remover), a CD with all her favorite songs, a pair of salwar kameez, a necklace with a pendant, a box full of chocolates and a pair of footwear (that lifts you 5 inches above the ground).

On the seventh day, I got a call from her.

"Hi Meghna.."

"Venkee..."

"Yes Meghna"

"Was that you all along?"

"..." The tone was not harsh, so she should have indeed liked it.

"Venkee... Thank you so much... I never expected this... You made the 7 happiest days in my life" (So friends, see above the list of things that can make someone's 'happiest' day!)

"Thank you, Meghna... I am glad you liked those gifts... And... and... is my invite to Tandoor this evening accepted?"

"Indeed Venkee... I have no words to thank you... I... I... love you so much"

Do I need to further elaborate about what happened at Tandoor? She was as gorgeous as ever - stunningly beautiful (bolna padta hai bhai) and was the cynosure of all eyes (this because I like using complex words!). We got a wonderful corner table where we could express our love to each other as only we could - A perfect romantic date it was!

For the alert reader who sees something missing - I had bribed the real 'secret angel' who was supposed to gift her. And I gifted her all those things by asking her friends what she liked. On the seventh day, she received a letter signed by me that said - The final gift I would like to give is just myself. Please come to Tandoor at 730 pm if you like this gift.

*****************

"Sir one minute..." he said and went out. I could hear him talk outside. He was driving out other customers.

"Today holiday... No, that is urgent customer... Please come tomorrow" He came back.

"Hey why did you send off someone?"

"Good story Sir... I can't listen if I start working"

"Foolish of you man..."

"Sir, you impressed Madam so well Sir... And then full duet only Sir?" he chuckled as if he saw a porn actress with clothes on.

*************

The days thereafter.

We continued to talk to angels (investors) and VCs with no success. Meanwhile, Meghna completed her masters and stopped going to Hill Caramel. Which means, our meetings became restricted. Her family moved from Ulsoor to Tippasandra. She joined a school in Indira Nagar as a teacher. I quit my job to focus on the venture - moonlighting was taking us nowhere. For the convenience of meeting up with her often, I moved my residence to Indira Nagar too - with the pretext of staying close to my other partners. To my parents, it was because I could go to 'Uncle's place' often. How this sudden love for Uncles erupted, nobody questioned. They were anyways already worried about my life (how can someone with no background in business succeed in business - was their refrain) that this was not high on their mind.

So it was all about website development, talking to bus operators, talking to VCs, meeting up with her - all the way till our dreams came crashing one day! Someone had already done 'Red Bus' - They too had a similar issue with going to their native towns, they too thought of the same solution - but they found the VC earlier. We were devastated - not that two players cannot exist in this business - but no VC was anymore going to think of our idea as original. We did not want to tweak our model anymore - in our opinion, that was the optimal. We just wished the Red Bus guys good luck and started thinking about a new idea. But we were so engrossed by our original idea that we all had big blocks to think of anything new. We did think of a few but there was no consensus on any. All of us started blaming each other for the failure - I was singled out more often because I was not doing a good job of finding out VCs, I was behind a girl, after all. As they say, success has many fathers while failure has none. We fell apart in a few months and each of us found jobs in MNCs again - I chose one at Bagmane Tech Park, near to Tippasandra.

To the by-now-bored reader that needs juicy stuff - sorry, I have promised Meghna that I will never reveal anything about our smooch sessions at Old Madras Road (and getting scolded by Army men) and our stealth trip to Goa (she went on a school excursion to a hydro-electric power generation site at a nondescript town called Sileru and I went to a business meeting in Delhi - as far our parents were concerned).

My parents were a happy lot - I was back to being a spineless guy bending over backwards to please my MNC bosses. I again made business plans and proposals for the Indian arm of the MNC - but without any passion as I had before. Needless to say, most of them got rejected without a reason - but this time it did not hurt me too as much.

Her parents were also happy - their daughter had successfully completed studies and was standing on her own legs, whatever that means! Her brother was also completing studies soon and was planning to fly off to some other country.

What do happy parents do? Yes you guessed it right - they wish to ruin the happiness of their children - by getting them married. So did these two sets of parents from our story also.

Both of our parents were so traditional that they were going to be dead against love - even if both of us spoke the same language, followed (or did not follow!) the same religion and belonged to the same caste & sub-caste too (& different gothras if I may add - this is one of the important criteria - you should be from different gothras). To them, love is just love and love marriage simply means illicit marriage.

So we decided that we better never talk about love to our parents and just follow what they said. Yes you read it right - we decided to marry whoever our parents chose.

*****************

There was a call on my mobile. I asked him to disconnect the call. I was in no position to answer then.

"Man, it is itching, please remove this... I think it is more than an hour now..."

"No Sir, only 10 minutes..."

"Hey no for sure... Please..."

"Very interesting point in the story Sir... You left Madam? She dint cry? How can you do this Sir"

"Dude, I cant bear this... Please take this off" and I threw those cucumber pieces.

"You finish story soon Sir"

He was blackmailing. I had to continue.

*************

The 'Arranged' Love Marriage

After a lot of usual natak that all eligible boys do, I agreed to get married. But I did irritate my parents by continuously narrating how outdated their system was - to float around the horoscope, wait for one of the relatives/acquaintance to respond about a girl in some crazy village and decide about marriage without ever doing any background check on the person. I compared that with the hiring process of a company - how efficiently it is done and how they do background check - to someone who will work only for a few years. But before marriage, these people were not doing any background checks.

Fed up by my arguments, my parents agreed to my ideas. I was at least agreeing to get married. No floating around horoscopes with relatives but do it online - register at the popular matrimony site! Needless to say, she did the same thing at her place.

Here is where, ladies & gentlemen, the genius of our idea resides. We both had become 'profiles' in the same matrimony site. Now, is it not just a question of making the parents 'like' our profiles? Post that, we WOULD listen to our parents, wouldn't we?

To start with, I gave my parents the exact set of requirements I had - The girl should be from Bangalore, should be a teacher and should have a brother. I had a few more rules so that they do not get any doubts but these were enough for them to reject a lot of profiles. Believe me, there are not so many 'teachers' in Bangalore who are from my caste and speak my language! I stopped short of saying - The girl should be called Meghna and should be living at Tippasandra.

Slowly but steadily, other profiles were getting rejected. I added more and more details to my profile that would attract fathers with beautiful daughters. My education, my (actually non-existent) “teetotalling” characteristic and the high salary the MNC paid me were all added. My parents were not too happy, they wanted the girls' side to approach first and then ask for details like salary. But I was in a hurry - after all, several of my competitors were from the US and fathers of beautiful girls naturally liked them more. One of Meghna's requirement was that she would continue to live in India - but still her father was not very convinced.

Whatever SEO (Search-Engine Optimization) techniques I employed at my venture were nothing compared to the Profile-Search-Optimizations I did for this. Profiles were updated everyday (to be on top), maximum money paid (paid profiles appear in a box and are more visible) and in fact I wrote HTML tags to show some fields in BOLD. (Talk to me if you want more tips on this)

In a couple of weeks, her father spotted my profile. But he just bookmarked it but did not act on it. We were pissed off. After another week, in an uninterested manner, he showed my profile to her. Very happy deep inside but showing an uninterested face, she too said - Okkkay... And they 'Expressed Interest'. Boy, then my father took his own time to show her profile to me - after all, it had everything I wanted - what was holding him back, I do not know! Fathers and their forgetful ways, my God! After my 'reluctant' approval, the fathers exchanged mails and phone calls. My parents flew down to Bangalore to visit them - after all, according to our family tradition, I was supposed to see the girl only after the parents approved. ;-)

*****

"Wow Sir... You are criminal..." What a certificate I earned from a salon guy!

"HaHaHa, chalo yaar, ab chodo mujhe... I got to go... My face is itching like hell..."

He started cleaning my face.

"Then what happened Sir?"

"Kahani katam yaar... My parents visited her yesterday... They liked... and they want me to visit her today... Imagine, they introducing her to me! HaHaHa..."

My first facial was finally done. I decided against the hair-cut. It was already very late.

"Sir, this should be made a movie..." he said as he collected money from me.

Bloody hell, he charged 1500 bucks for hearing my story and wasting my 2 hours.

*****

When it all backfired

As I moved out of the salon, I noticed that there were 5 missed calls from my father. The moron had put it on silent mode when he disconnected the call earlier. I immediately called my Dad.

"Yeah Dad..."

"Venkee... Some bad news..."

"..."

"Since you were cribbing about our process of finding a girl with no background check, I did some background checking through your uncle" (the one in Tippasandra).

"..."

"He spoke to a few people in the marketplace and found that this girl actually had a boy-friend... A lot of people have spotted them in different places..."

"..."

"I asked the girl's father politely if there was anything like that but he outright denies it..."

"..."

"You stand vindicated Venkee... Our process indeed sucks... Background check SHOULD be done... I feel we should cancel this alliance, what do you say?"

... Just another New Year wish!! ...

2008-12-31T03:17:00.000-08:00

Hiya Friend,

Wish you a fun-filled, exuberant & peaceful year ahead!!

May all that you wish for come true!!

(Hey naughty, only the legal, ethical and moral ones will come true! OK??)

And yeah, if you have been watching a lot of TV of late (and more importantly, have invested a lot a money in stocks), you would have heard about how 2008 was bad for you, the society, the country and the world!! Doubts are being raised on how 2009 will fare!!!

Just as the joke on smoking goes - "After I read a lot about how smoking was injurious to health, I quit.... reading" - the solution to escape from all these is of course - to stop watching TV. :-)

Nevertheless, let us believe that this is only a phase of our life! After all, there should be difficult times for us to feel good when there are better times, no?

I heard this story recently:

A person was narrating the story of his life to his grandson. His parents were happily married, had three children, led a happy life and died peacefully. His wife's parents were also happily married, had three children, led a happy life and died peacefully. His siblings too led a happy life. Same with his wife's siblings! The grandfather himself was also happily married, had two children, who were also very happy in their lives. Finally, he was peacefully approaching his death.

Apparently, just as you are, the child hearing the story was also very bored with this. :-)

Which brings us to the moral of the story - Happiness all around is so boring! We need gloomy times to feel good at other times!

So, let us pray for not, but just in case, in 2009, you are not going to get a raise, not going to get a promotion, not going to get that dream job, your portfolio balances not reaching the previous highs - don't feel bad. It is only an indication of better times coming!! And an assurance that you will feel good in times to come!

Kahani abhi baaki hai, mere dost!!

After all, without these, we may not have an interesting story to tell our grandchildren :-)

As we end this just another New Year wish, let me say that again - Wish you a fun-filled, exuberant and peaceful year ahead. May all that you wish for come true!!

Have fun. :-)

... PGSEM Student Ko Gussa Kyon Aata Hai? ...

2008-12-14T17:26:00.000-08:00

We all know that PGSEM Students (well most of them) are a bunch of moan-groan society. Poor guys, they do it for various reasons - They got to balance work, studies, family etc etc. Nevertheless, all that is expected of an MBA student, no? Even regular MBA guys work in consulting projects during their coursework and make extra bucks!

Here is an endeavor to find what ails PGSEM students and why do they get so angry! Is it only because they do not get placed somewhere? Do they even deserve that?

Please leave your comment below! Or send an email to carnivas at gmail dot com.

Your opinion could be anything from

"PGSEM Students are all uncles. As we know, our brain cells stop growing from the time we are 20 years! When these guys join at 30+ years, their IQ levels are already so low that they cannot do a thing well - but still they need placements"

"PGSEM Students do not have the initiative to do any meaningful thing, they need to be spoon-fed (or worse, you know what I mean) everything! They are not half deserving to get placements"

"PGSEM students are good at only talking but cant move their you-know-what to get a thing done"

to the usual

"PGSEM Students bring in the right mixture of experience & youth. They are THE right people for MBA and THEY DESERVE PLACEMENTS".

Go ahead, please voice your comment below!! (Please refrain from using unparliamentary words though!)

[These comments above were only to set your imagination and do not represent the thinking of the author! In any case, the author does not live in HSR Layout and does not work at Bagmane Tech Park, so please do not send autos there! :) ]

Tiffin & Lunch

2008-11-23T05:15:00.000-08:00

"Tiffin should have shortened the lunch interval" says this news.

;-)

... Golden Ears ...

2008-09-07T05:01:00.000-07:00

Submitted for this

"The old man is dead", declared the doctor. Doctors can be emotionless.

"Finally!" everyone sighed. When you live long, even loved ones can get emotionless.

"Let us open the journal", the eldest son said.

"Should we not call some lawyers?" asked his wife.

"This is no will. He made no money to write one. Just some thoughts of his! He wanted us to read after he is dead", another son mentioned.

"Don’t say 'dead'. ‘After his soul leaves the physical manifestation’ is how he would put it".

At 102, his family tree was so big that it is impossible to mention who spoke.

"Let us dismantle his laboratory and make more rooms.”

“He thought of himself as an alchemist.”

Everyone laughed.

"Is it so important to read that?"

"At least he made us feel so"

They finally opened it.

“You are about to find a treasure. Go to my laboratory, open the box with the note ELIXIR, bring out three spoons of the yellowish fluid and pour over my navel. Just three spoons it is. Once you do it, the next lines will appear here”.

"Don’t do anything. We are being fooled here. Get him to the crematorium fast"

"Who knows, we may actually find some treasure?"

"You think the next lines will appear after we do?"

"Let us try"

They did. He turned green. To their awe, the next line appeared on the journal.

“Good job. Next step is very important. Go to the fourth shelf in the laboratory - with a note -40F. Pick out the bottle of LEAD, heat it up to 150F and pour it into my ears, exactly 10ml in each ear. Be careful, else you may lose your treasure.”

"This is getting crazy. Was he into black magic? How will this get me the treasure?"

"Please make it get *us* the treasure."

They did it half-heartedly. They heated it up only up to 140F. No new line appeared. The old man's ears fell off. A new line appeared - Try again. They did, with more caution. Pouring the lead into the ear-hole was tough. But they managed to. A new line appeared.

“Lousy people!! Be careful at this final step. Open the fifth shelf under my table. You see a note as 'PHILOSOPHER'S STONE'. Get it here and hit my butt forcefully 5 times. Only 5 times!!”

Every one of them had goose pimples. They did, without speaking a word.

Very Good! Now go to the laboratory. Shut the door and search for pieces of gold in every shelf there. Every one of you, go there. What you find is yours.

They found nothing. They looked at the journal to see for more notes.

I am sorry to have fooled you. Your treasure is right here. I have turned my bed into gold. See you all.

The old man, including his physical manifestation had gone.

"He indeed is an alchemist", they said.

His ears were lying there. They too had turned gold.

... The Spirited Journal ...

2008-09-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

Submitted for this

"Even today, he started demanding food from my wife like my brother used to; supervising her all through - right from cutting vegetables through cooking till the food was served"

"From when?"

"Last week, Sir. After my brother committed suicide! They liked each other a lot"

"You feel your brother's spirits make him behave like this?"

"Yes Sir, please help us get rid of it"

"Why was your brother behaving like that?"

"He was mentally unstable. Someone hit him on the head a couple of years back. He was in an asylum since then. He seemed to be OK so brought him home. He started behaving weird soon. Before we could send him back to the asylum, he committed suicide... And now my son too....” cried the young man.

"Don't worry, son. I shall help you. Let me stay at your home for a day"

"Thank you, Sir. With pleasure! Get us rid of that evil spirit."

After the young man left, the priest told over phone, "We are close to catching them, Sir"

******

"Hey kiddo, what are you reading?" asked the priest

"A journal"

"What is written in it?"

"Nothing that would interest you"

"Uh Oh... See, I am your friend... I have some chocolates for you... Please have them"

Soon after the kid slept, the priest came out of the room and said, "I will leave now. Tomorrow, if your son tries to enter the bathroom when your wife is in, drag him out and let me know"

"What?"

"Do not worry, he will be alright"

On his way back, "We were correct, Sir. It does not look like a suicide. We will nail them in the morning" said the priest over phone

******

"Sir, my son entered the bathroom"

"Good, how did your wife react?"

"That is what is surprising me Sir. She started thrashing him. She knows he is possessed by a spirit but when he entered the bathroom, she could not take it"

"Well, the case is closed."

"What case, Sir?"

"Call me *inspector*". He walked into the house and arrested the young man's wife.

"What is happening, Inspector?"

"I’ll put it short. Your brother loved your wife, before your marriage. They lived together; she did all he said, except making love. Once when he desperately entered the bathroom, she hit him. He became mentally unstable. He joined the asylum and she married you."

“ …”

"Once he came home, he saw her as your wife and could not take it. He opened his old journal and made her do all she did before... And one day, he entered the bathroom... She hit him again, this time very hard, that he died... She made it look like a suicide..."

“…”

"Your son saw that killing... It affected him... He got the journal also to read... He loved his uncle… He was taking revenge by making her do it all over..."

The police party left. The young man's son was busy burning the journal.

... The Blackberry ...

2008-09-07T04:56:00.000-07:00

Submitted for this

"Time to start looking for a house", I told Rohan the umpteenth time.

Rohan did not bother. That is his habit. He never listens to me. His official work always gets priority. He is one of those crazy corporate executives, who work for 75+ hours a week. The involvement in community work takes another 20 hours. He spends at least 30 hours a week just on the road. Family comes nowhere in the picture. When news about his friends taking their families away on a vacation comes, he just chooses to ignore that. Even when the children question him on that, he just shrugs and moves on.

I waited for about an hour. "We are already late by 4 days and 13 hours, Rohan", I said. He just did not panic. He has this habit of brushing aside things.

I understand he is busy; he has one hundred things to do. But that does not mean that he can treat me like this. It is his responsibility anyways. I am there only to help him. What can I do, that an MBA from Wharton chooses not do? When it is late, it is he who the landlord will question. We will have no place to stay but what can I do now, more than reminding him? Honestly, I feel he is not managing his time well. He spends crazy number of hours on trivial tasks and spends less time on important projects. This lifestyle brings with it all kinds of health ailments and he will end up as a heart patient in just a few years. Please do not get me wrong. I am not telling that he should get sick. But I am concerned he will get sick. After all, I do not exist without Rohan. He knows that. That is the reason he ignores me.

For a moment, listen to his time management skills. He uses a lot of tools. But what use is tools are when your intent is not clear? Initially, he used to have pieces of paper, where he would scribble all his thoughts as a journal and knock them off one by one. But with time, the papers would grow in number and it was difficult to manage. He would spend a lot of time re-reading the papers and writing a new comprehensive journal. Then it was PC based journaling software. Soon, every 5 minutes, his journal window would pop-out with a new task or with a reminder for an old task. And he would religiously “snooze” them. He would have spent several hours in just pressing the snooze button. Even with that software, he had issues in synchronizing between home and office PCs.

"Rohan, it is really late now" I shouted. He gave me a cold stare and dismissed my message.

He has recently bought me, to sync between the home and office journals and remind him even when on the road. But I am a tool also, after all, no?

... Being a PGSEM-er ...

2008-08-19T22:06:00.000-07:00

I read an article on "Being Twenty Something" a few years back... I could not relate to it well then... As I was clearing a few folders in my PC, I chanced upon that article now... As I am about to complete PGSEM, I see that I can easily relate to it... :)

The article (with a few portions removed) here. The author is unknown.

_______________________

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis" It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

... Photo Funia ...

2008-07-23T01:59:00.000-07:00

After "animoto", here is one more photo service I found good.

Do check out http://www.photofunia.com/

PS::: No, this has not become a recommendations blog. Posts are on the way :-)

... Engagement Video ...

2008-05-30T20:48:00.001-07:00

Heard about this ANIMOTO thing and wanted to try. This is the short video I could create for free :-)

More photos here

... The Tall Story ...

2008-02-03T10:09:00.000-08:00

Submitted for this

********************

"From when has your son been missing?" asked the officer.

"Last two days. After he had that goddamned dream"

"Dream?"

"About people from the future visiting him... He went to meet them... It came in the papers..."

The blink from the network port on the computer was vigorous.

"I don’t read them... Tell me in detail..."

"He dreamt about people from 2308 AD visiting him in the town-hall... telling how humans would be wiped out by Martians with help of computers..."

"That sounds like a cheap Hollywood flick..."

"He believed it... He even got an appointment by email..."

"Crazy... "

"I too thought so... Till he went missing..."

"Any enemies? Why is this light blinking like hell on the computer?"

"Not the kind who would kidnap..."

"He said something more?"

"Yes!! That the human race would be erased one at a time..."

"That would be tough, 6 billion and counting...” chuckled the officer.

"It would not! Understand the power of compounding? Once you are an object, you can be instantiated any number of times, unless you are a singleton…” said a new voice from a strange looking man.

The old man fainted.

“Who are you?” asked the officer.

“I am the one who went missing”

“Where were you? Are you OK?” the officer offered to shake hands. He found two right hands there.

“You seem not OK... Hey who are you?”

“I am the one who went missing”

“Where did you go?”

“They took me, the Martians… Changed my brain with their chips… I am an object now… Came here via the network”

“That is a tall story, son. Who are you? Where are you coming from?”

“Tall story indeed… From Olympus Mons! You too are invited”

Both of them vanished and the network port blinked vigorously.

2008-02-01T04:05:00.000-08:00

R.I.P (31-Jan-2008)

Karthik Srinivasan
Software Development Professional

Roles: Software Development; Software Development Project Management.

Genesis (01-Feb-2008)

Karthik Srinivasan
Marketing Professional

Tentative Roles: Analysis of mobile market trends; Create alliances with mobile operators; Localization of mobile solutions to India; Outsource solution development to partners

Seeks your blessings & wishes!

(This is in the same company he worked for; but in a different division)

... Real students of IIM Bangalore ...

2008-01-14T01:06:00.000-08:00

Something funny happened in the office today.

Though very tired, I was in a happy mood in general, patting myself on the back for the good turn out of Convergenz and that the event can be considered a reasonable success!

A colleague of mine (who had come to Convergenz yesterday) and I were discussing about the event when another colleaugue peeped in. The first colleague had apparently spoken with the second one about the event a little while earlier. The second also knows that I am doing PGSEM & stuff.

She asked me, "Did you also go to IIM-B yesterday?"

"Yes"

The first colleague was a bit surprised. He thought the second one was making fun and so said jokingly,

"No, I was the organizer and Karthik participated in it"

The second one brushed him aside and asked me again,

"Did you go?"

I was just silent. Then the first one said,

"Hey he was one of the organizers for this event"

"Oh, I thought IIM-B organized it"

I could not resist speaking here.

"IIM-B is just bricks and stones. You need some humans to organize and I was one among them"

"Oh, is it.. I did not know that you were the organizer... I thought the REAL STUDENTS of IIM-B were the organizers"

I silently picked up my lunch box and went for food.

Someone please tell me who a REAL STUDENT is.

Am I living in The Matrix or something? :-)

... Shivanjali ...

2007-10-14T04:54:00.000-07:00

For a moment, I thought the girl in the pink churidar to be Anjali. I realized quickly that it was not her and looked at the display board for what to order. Ordered a chef’s special masala dosa. It would take another 15 minutes to get the dosa. Moved towards that pinkie to confirm it was not Anjali. Well, she was not. I knew it well. But still, the thought of Anjali made me move there.

It seemed like everything happening again. Well, it was understandable at 22. Again at 29? It does not seem to make sense. But rationality is the most uncommon thing in these affairs.

After a long day at the media-advertising industry conclave in Alliance Business Academy, I needed some relaxation, I thought. Went to the parking area and lit a King light.

HSR BDA has become a nice place to hang out for the Yuppies and Dinkus. (For those of you highly knowledgeable people, if you do not know what Yuppies are - they are Young Urban Professionals. DINK is - Double Income No Kids. Well, DINKU is something I have coined - Double Income; No Kid & Underemployed - like most software couples in Bangalore are! They do not work for more than 30 hours a week in the office, contrary to what one might think)

Bharateeyam was full. It attracts a fair share of people from HSR and around with tasty food. North Indians and wannabe North Indians are found in plenty. Wannabe North Indians - South Indians who converse in Hindi even with their family members! Guess it is a millennium old inferiority complex - that started with the Aryans & Dravidians! Along with them, mommies and daddies of software ennaarais can also be seen. North Indians have their ‘dosas’, not dhosas and samburr, not sambar while Wannabe North Indians have their ‘chats’ as in Yahoo chat.

But we are digressing from the Anjali story here. Heck, this is my story. I write what I want.

_________________________________________________________

Well, Anjali is the new girl who had joined the creatives team recently. It would not make sense to specially announce here that she was one of those beautiful creatures around - without that, this story would not have been written in the first place.

As it happens in all such stories, she joined the same account that I was handling. The current project was on creating TVCs (TV Commercials) for a new textile showroom. The client was a hugely successful showroom in Chennai and want to replicate it in Bangalore. Anjali came up with brilliant ideas right through out the project. Her knowledge ranging from psychology to carnatic music was greatly helpful. The TVC was a big success and ensured top of the mind recall to 99% of the survey respondents.

Also as it happens in all such stories, in a weakened state (read: after a couple of beers), I had spoken in praise of her with my friends. Apparently, I even made a statement that she was a perfect ‘wife material’. And then they started pushing me into this affair. Well, Seetha was the leader of that gang.

“Shiv, she is the most suitable girl for you. When I think of her, you come to my mind. Just forget your past.”

Forget the past? Is it so easy?

“If I come to my mind when you think of her, better stop thinking” I said and left the place.

I got busy with the arrangements for the summit and forgot about it. Until I saw the pinkie, that is.

‘Masala Dosa…’ shouted the attendant & I walked back in.

_________________________________________________________

The thought of Anjali kept coming to my mind for no reason all through my drive to the home. The thought was so pleasant, I would say. If this were a movie, I might have gone for a dream sequence song to Switzerland now. Unfortunately, that is not the case. So let us continue.

I reached home and found many missed calls in my landline. Checked for the recorded messages. There were 7 of them. Started playing one by one. First six were without any message. Morons, have cut the line without speaking a word. The seventh had a message. An important one. Not in terms of the content but in terms of the person who had conveyed it.

Yes, your guess is right. It was Anjali, but your guess I think is no big deal.

“Shiv, this is Anjali. We, I mean the creatives team are planning to go to Forum and catch up with a movie tomorrow. Would you like to join? Please call at 9845746262 and let me know!”

No recorded message from my phone has sounded sweeter than this ever. What was happening to me? Someone in late 20s getting so much charged up about a call from a girl? I was supposed to be a mature advertising professional. Heck, everyone has emotional needs, no?

I usually spend Sundays lazing around at home, watching a movie or blogging about an Indian brand. I decided to move my ass out tomorrow. I need to call her up and inform. Before calling, I thought I better freshen up. Yeah, it was just a phone call and she would have no means of finding if I washed my face or not. I remember a statement told to the receptionist in my office by her boss, “Smile when you say Hello, the person at the other end can visualize it”. So why risk it? I shed my clothes and ran into the bathroom. As an aside, one advantage of living alone is - you do not need a latch to your bathroom!

I stood in front of the mirror and told, ‘Shiv, you seem to be in love again’. The image in the mirror smiled back at me.

_________________________________________________________

The movie that I suggested turned out to be pathetic. However, movie was only an excuse as far as I was concerned. Seetha, the most helpful love-enabler ever known to human kind, made all kinds of nautanki and moved the rest of the team members away, leaving only Anjali and me.

That gave me a chance to know more about her. She is a Kannadiga whose family had settled in Hyderabad in the 60s. That meant, her Kannada was as good as my Telugu. I am a Telugu guy whose family had settled in Mysore in the 60s. Her father was an IAS Officer (promoted variety, not the study hard, pass exam kind). Mother a housewife. And no siblings. I exchanged my family information also.

After the usual kind of information exchanges and stuff, both of us did not know what to talk. I certainly did not want to talk about work then. I cannot talk about Sharrukh Khan and I was sure she would not be able to talk about Sachin Tendulkar. I thought I would still try. There was anyways a repeat telecast going on in the large TV screen there.

“You know Anjali, I was just checking out the TAM (a database that contains television viewer ship measures in India) data today. As you would expect, cricket tops the TRP ratings when it comes to sports in India. What do you think is the second top?”

“Hmm… I do not know, Hockey, may be?”

“HaHa.. No, it is the repeat telecast of cricket itself…”

“Oh crazy people… I cannot understand the game ever…”

“Well, I can guess it. There was a friend of mine, who thinks Sachin and Tendulkar are actually two different people”

She did not seem to like that joke. She laughed anyways.

“Luckily we do not use his middle name often… Else she would think that there is a third batsman called Ramesh who fights with Sachin and Tendulkar for the title of the best batsman of India”

This time she did not laugh.

Silence fell again. And then she suddenly asked,

“Shiv, why aren’t you married yet?”

‘Was waiting for you, dear’

“Shiv, where are you? Deep thoughts? I asked you something”

“Er.. Nothing.. Just some thoughts…”

“Sorry if it had made you remember some old stuff… I should not have asked… Seetha told me about that…”

‘Seetha… I will kill you…’

“No problem. That is an old story anyways!”

What she told before she left a lasting impression on me. “Shiv, I would never ask you for advice on what movie to watch”

_________________________________________________________

Her question about my marriage did dig up a lot of thoughts in me. I went to the balcony of my house and lit a cigarette. I have this habit of lighting one every time there is a flashback coming up.

“Menaka… Late ho raha hai yaar…. Seekkiram vaa” (It is getting late, come fast)

The Tam-Brams in Mumbai have this habit of mixing up all languages in their speech.

“So Shiv, what are you looking there? Menaka? Sweet girl. Interested?” asked my brother-in-law. I believe I need not inform about the beauty of Menaka here.

I smiled awkwardly and went inside the house. I had gone to spend a few days with my sister at Mumbai. She had been in Mumbai for around an year after marriage. And I was busy with my MBA at Loyolas in Chennai that I could not visit her even once.

Once I finished the course and more importantly, got an offer from a local advertising agency with a decent salary, I decided to spend a week at Mumbai before taking up the job. And it paved the way for some exciting phase in my life.

I slowly gathered information about Menaka from my sister and brother in law using all the subliminal techniques that I could employ. She is a Tam-Bram (Tamil Brahmin) living in Mumbai. Her father was one of those people who quit Mylapore and moved to Mathunga when the Dravidian movement was at its peak and its supporters were indulging in cutting off the tufts and sacred threads of Brahmins and what not.

She grew to be a cosmopolitan person and had this sense of urgency inherent in Mumbaikars in whatever they do. She was doing her final B.Com with great hopes of doing her CA. Her father was anyways one.

It was not too long before I got introduced to her by my ever helpful bro-in-law.

“Sir, this is Shiv, Vijaya’s brother. He is the one who she keeps talking about… MBA, Advertising all that…”

“Hello Shiv, I am Panjabakesan”

Strange are the ways these Tams pronounce their names. Is it not supposed to be Panchapakesan? I seriously do not know. But for sure, I am confident that this person had nothing to do with Punjab.

“Hello Uncle. Nice meeting you” and I was looking around to see the other more important people in the house.

There she comes!

“Hello Pavan Ji... How are you?” she told my bro-in-law and gave a puzzled look seeing me. Good acting it was. I had seen her gazing at me the previous day. Anyways, I too gave a puzzled look though I knew every detail about her including her shoe size.

“Hi Menaka… This is Shiv… Shiv, this is Menaka”

“Hello Menaka, do you love animals?”

“Hello Shiv. No, I am a strict vegetarian”

Oops, I was not sure if she got my joke or not. Or was it a joke that was thrown at me back? Anyways, all of us laughed.

It did not take too much time to exchange email addresses and stuff. It was way back in 2000 but everyone in the younger generation did have email ids. In my opinion, 75% of the love affairs in the last decade would have started over chat or email only.

_________________________________________________________

I joined the advertising agency and slowly got into the groove of the profession I have come to thoroughly enjoy. In the initial days, the work of an account executive seemed to be that of a Dalal, talking to the models, talking to the clients, talking to the creative guys and adding no value by one’s own. In the course of time, I realized how important this coordination was. The creative animal in me also helped in ideas to the creative team. I would often be consulted for reviews of their ideas. I was confident I would have my own agency one day and be known in the league of Alyque Padamsee.

That was not the only thing I did. The love with Menaka blossomed too. It started off with emails, then with Yahoo chats (no Skype then you know!), then with phone calls and then with personal visits.

I visited Mumbai every weekend. How I missed these low budget airlines then. I used spend half my salary in train and flight tickets. Menaka completed her B.Com and was deep into ICWA and stuff. But every weekend was reserved for me. That was the most exciting phase of both of our lives.

We roamed around every nook and corner of Mumbai. Gateway of India, the Aquarium and the Fashion Street were the most favorite joints. We would talk about movies, music, advertisements, business, politics, how we should shape our lives and what not. We both seemed to be the best emotional and intellectual companions for each other. Interestingly, we never declared that we were in love with each other. It was just understood over a period of time.

Since it was never a declared thing and since the parents in both ends knew what we were up to, there was no problem whatsoever. Till that fateful day arrived, that is.

The accounting firm that Menaka’s father was running broke. If it had to run, it had to be supported by the NRI relative of theirs. With the only condition that Menaka would marry their son. No, it does not happen only in movies as you would imagine. It happened with me.

It all seemed so logical for Mr. Panjabakesan. After all, every Tam-Bram, his neighbor & relatives and relative’s neighbors and neighbor’s relatives had their sons and daughters sent or married off to the US of A.

God knows how he would have reacted if his business had not broken down. But now he was sure that he would marry off his daughter only to a Tam Bram and only to someone who was in the US of A. I was neither.

Menaka tried her best to convince him but he would not relent. When it came to choosing between me and her family, she chose the latter. I would not blame her anyways.

She now lives in Boston with 2 kids as a happy NRI’s wife singing the only song she knows “Gowri Kalyaanam” in all religious functions she attends. Mr. Panjabakesan paid off his debts, shut shop and leads a happy retired life.

I quit my job in Chennai and joined an agency in Bangalore. I had become an account manager now.

_________________________________________________________

Three cigarettes got over. Read: flashback got over.

The next few weeks were spent in the office amidst a tight schedule to prepare for a presentation for a new client. There was this new mobile service provider that had come to India and was looking for an ad agency. The likes of O&M were competing. We were a small time player from Bangalore who had made a few ads that have been noticed across the National television circles. The fact that we got an invite for the presentation meant that the company was looking for someone new. If we get this, it would be the best thing to happen - to my company and to my career.

The presentation was supposed to happen in Noida.

We had one person from the creative and me going. Needless to say, Seetha made sure it was Anjali who joined me. I was supposed to create a double success - one with the new client who was showing sufficient interest in our company and one with Anjali, who was showing sufficient interest in me.

We prepared a neat presentation to cover all our strengths in the short span of 10 minutes that was given to us. Data about the reach of the textile showroom advertisement we had created was going to be crucial. We had copywriting and mock advertisements for the new company too based on the information we had about them.

The presentation went on very well. All signals of a success emanated from the clients. They would anyway send their final confirmation to our head office in Bangalore.

_________________________________________________________

We were waiting at the New Delhi Airport to catch the flight back to Bangalore. There was a call from Seetha.

“Hi Seetha…”

“Shiv, congrats… You have done it….”

“Really… has the confirmation come so soon?”

“Yes, Sir… You are the superstar in our office now… Shiv, The Boss it is”

“Great Seetha… Thanks a lot…”

“That is OK… But tell me, what happened to the other thing you had to do?”

“Well… No, nothing yet…”

“Fool… Do it NOW… Believe me, she is interested in you… It is just that she wants to play a typical girl by not saying first… Do not miss this chance now…”

“Hmm… Okay, I will do it right away…”

Anjali was all curious.

“Have they confirmed?”

“Yes Maam… You are going to get a huge bonus now… And I am sure you would be the creative head for this assignment…”

“Thank you, Shiv.. So nice of you…”

“Well… I wanted to say something else too….”

Her phone rang.

“Excuse me Shiv…”

“Yeah sure…”

“Hi Rohit… What a pleasant surprise….”

“…” whatever hell the other side spoke.

“Yeah my trip is a success….”

“Oh thank you…. Thank you…”

“….”

“I too miss you so much da at this time… I will be Bangalore in a few hours….”

“….”

“Yeah, see you in the airport…. Bye”

“Sorry Shiv, it was Rohit…”

“Okay..:” how the hell am I supposed to know who the hell this Rohit is.
“You were saying something?”

“Well.. Er… I actually forgot…”

“Hey you…. Crazy…”

And she started frantically SMS-ing people. Foolish. What am I doing here!! Who is this Rohit? Some friend? And just a friend? Or a cousin or something? Just a cousin or something more? I got very angry at Seetha for not finding this out. I made up my mind to find out who it is and open my heart in the flight.

“Passengers boarding for the Bangalore bound Kingfisher flight number…..”

Please pray for me.

... The Slave ...

2007-08-30T04:57:00.000-07:00

7.30 pm. On a Thursday.

The daughters-in-law were conspiring against their mothers-in-law. After a 'small break', the mothers-in-law were conspiring against their daughters-in-law. Foolish. This has been happening for years together. But the lady in this house is not tired of watching this soap. Heck. I would love to watch cartoon network now but who is bothered about it.

Well, I am Martin. 10 years old. Very short. Probably my growth is stunted. I do not know if I will grow anymore. I was brought into this house from Orissa when I was 5 years old. My family had been wiped away at that time due to some Gad damned flood. I had no go but to join these guys! I got fooled by the love and affection they showered on me then. I had no idea that I would be treated as a slave here. I have been a bonded laborer here since then. Hmm! I had a great life at my birthplace. All play and no work to do. Only a few chores here and there. Nothing more. Durga would come and serve food to me and my Mom. We used to just laze around. Durga was very kind hearted. Her parents too were and the whole family was. My Mom used to tell me that I was the most intelligent of all my cousins and others in our neighbourhood there. But what use all that intelligence now?

The calling bell rang.

The lady of the house turned towards me. That means I got to go & open the door. What the heck. Why should I go always? You go. At least your waistline may reduce. Anyways, I cannot speak all that. I went to open the door. Anyways, this is the last day for all these.
The moment I opened the door, "Bang"... A slap on my back. The son of my "owner" was the one who slapped me. He was angry that I did not open the door on time. My blood boiled. I just wanted to tear him apart. But as usual, I was silent. Anyways, the day when I will be a free bird is not far. He straight went to the wash basin, cleaned his hands and mouth and then came for food. Very good habit indeed. But since it is to hide the smell of the cigarette, well... forget it. He does nothing. Just roams around the city, smokes, drinks and that is it. He did get a job in a call center but he did not work even for a month. He did not have "job satisfaction" it seems. Well, he is now satisfied but has no job. I would like to call him as the hole in the bottom but since that would be too offensive to narrate, I refrain from it.

It was time for NEWS now.

Even a slight sound made at this time, my "owner" and the head of the family here would get wild. He would behave as if he would die if he does not hear a few sentences of the news item. He reads at least 4 newspapers too. God knows what he gets out of them. I was feeling very sleepy. Have been doing one chore after the other since morning. I get up at 5 am. Go get the milk. Then go for a walk with the owner - he needs "company" it seems. Then, go get the newspapers. Then the vegetables. And then groceries. And then clean some portions of the house. Luckily I am too short to reach the hob to cook. Otherwise, they would make me do it also.

The only job I like is of getting milk in the morning - because that is when I meet Julie. She too lives in the neighborhood in another house. Well, as a bonded laborer in another house. She was kidnapped when she was only 4 years old. Even without the knowledge of her mother. She faintly remembers that she used to live in Goa. Apparently, the owners of the house she stays went to Goa sometime and brought her along. We meet every day at the milk booth. Even the decision to get an end to all this was taken in the milk booth only. I do not know if I love her. I do not know if I can even think about love or marriage at this age. Nevertheless, we have an attraction for each other.

The h-in-the-b finished his food.

Priya came next. She is a decent girl. She is the only one in the house who would not beat me. Rarely hugs me too. But for the last couple of weeks, she has not been coming near me. We had some kind of a cold exchange two weeks back. She was continuously having next to her the teddy bear that her boy friend presented. What the heck. I thought I would see what it is. She scolded me like anything for that. And ordered that even my breath should not go near that lifeless toy. Well, I do not even have the respect a lifeless toy has. What to say? Fate? No. I believe ones destiny lies with oneself. So I will change my life from tomorrow. Julie is anyways there to give a helping hand.

The h-in-the-b came back after saying Good Night to his latest girl friend. He called me and showed three fingers. I need to understand that he is asking me to get 'Business World'. I went and searched for it. Luckily I could locate it easily. There was a time when I could not read English well. Neither did I understand his code language well. In front of his friends, he called me and showed 2 fingers. I was supposed to understand he was asking for Hindu. I got confused and brought Times of India (Code 1). He considered it as insult and slapped me in front of all his friends. I have never felt so humiliated any other time. In the news, there was a special section on 'bonded laborers' in the cracker factories at Sivakasi. All of the members in this household were "moved" by it and were condemning it strictly. What am I here? Not a bonded laborer? Heck. Hypocrites.

The owner and the lady went to eat.

I would get only whatever is left after they eat. Anyways, I do not need food today. I am so happy that I am running away tomorrow. No hunger whatsoever. All the chains will be broken tomorrow and a new life will dawn.

There was some howling noise outside. Oops. Looked like Julie's voice. I went out to inspect what it was. It indeed was Julie. Apparently, there have been many cases of dog bites in the city recently and the street dogs are being caught & killed ruthlessly. Julie said it was risky to run away then and we better wait for a few more months before breaking free. I too felt the same. We both started sharing our bad times.

My owners were talking that it was a bad omen to hear us howling.

Superstitious human fools.

... Psychosis & Generic Schizophrenia in an Eccentric Manager ...

2007-07-31T06:26:00.000-07:00

Scene: 1

Kay at a psychiatrist's clinic

"Well, what is your problem, Kay" asked the doctor.

"Hmm... I do not know, doctor... People seem to be getting averse to me in the last one year or so... No one talks to me for more than a couple of minutes"

"Oh really... that is strange... who do this... Family? Friends? Coworkers? Who?"

"Well, almost everyone except my friends in the college..."

"College? I thought you were working somewhere..."

"I do go to an office... not sure if I spend time there working though... because I rush to the college almost every day to complete a case study..."

"You are still studying?"

"Yeah, I am doing a part time MBA course. I have classes in the weekends...."

"That is interesting... Coming back to your problem... would you narrate a few incidents that happened to you...?"

"Yeah Sure... Here we go..."

Scene: 0

Kay at home with his wife watching TV.

"Did you watch the new Airtel ad that passed now? The kid who calls his Dad when it rains...? Cute it is... These days they do not show the complete ad... they show only half of it...” says Kay's wife.

"Yeah I did... I believe the advertisers have used the technique of classical conditioning here... Where there is an unconditional stimulus and a conditional stimulus... Another aspect to look is closure... When you are trained about it, it is enough if half of it is shown... You will remember the rest of it... Also, I believe the media schedule is tight for them..."

Before Kay could complete, wife switches off TV and goes away!

Scene: -1

Kay in the office with a co-worker near to the water cooler.

"Hey dude Kay... how is life..."

"Never better, buddy..."

"So what are you up to these days...? How is your MBA going on?"

"Well, last week I learned about social contract, use of metaphors in Indian freedom struggle, then about the relation between the bond prices and the call rates..."

"Er... good... fine... I got to meet the finance guy about my tax calculations... I will take leave..."

"Hey wait... tell the finance guy to write off the fringe benefit tax and car lease scheme as miscellaneous expenditure this year itself... else the profits next year may plummet..."

The co worker runs away!

Scene: -2

Kay in a relative's place.

"Beta, why don't you buy a house in Bangalore soon... The rates are dropping now..."

"No Uncle... I have done the NPV, IRR & Payback calculations well... I have also done my technical analysis of the real estate stocks and the realty prices well... By any means, I think I should buy it only on 25th April 2008..."

"Well, don’t you think it is like taking your knowledge to an extreme? for a 30 lakhs flat that you will buy..." says the obviously taken aback uncle.

"Ah... You do not understand the funda of present value of money... let me explain you now... suppose you can buy tomatoes for 10 rupees a Kg today... instead you save it for the future...." and continues for the next 30 minutes.

Uncle falls unconscious.

Scene: 1

Back to the present time.

"That is what happens, doctor..."

"So sad to hear this, Kay... No one seems to appreciate the amount of knowledge you have...."

"Yeah, doctor..."

"By the way, I guess your work should be on consumer behavior..."

"No... I just learnt it in the college..."

"Oh, so you are a finance guy...?"

"No... No... I just learn that in the college..."

"What do you do then?"

"I fix minor defects in software written in the 1970s... All major defects are taken by people who remain in office all day..."

"Then why do you study all these?"

"Well... come on doctor... You do not understand the intangible benefits that I get out of these... The society would appreciate my knowledge you know... I will be seen as an intellect wherever I go... In fact, I have recently written an article about the relevance of Parkinson's Law in the software industry... It has been received well by...."

Well, doctor too runs away!!!!

[To be continued.... till Kay lives...]

... In spite of the Gods ...

2007-07-31T02:15:00.000-07:00

[A review I had done for a course on Business, Government & Society]

Title: In spite of the Gods, The strange rise of modern India

Author: Edward Luce

Publisher: Little Brown

First Published: 2006 @ Great Britain

Introduction

With the increasing interest on India in the Western world, the number of books written on India and its history is equally increasing. ‘In spite of the Gods, the strange rise of modern India’ by Edward Luce (Former Bureau Chief, Financial Times, South Asia, based in New Delhi) is another attempt to provide the ‘history of modern India’. While the more recent ‘India after Gandhi’ by Ramachandra Guha provides a more thorough account of the happenings in independent India, this book provides high level ideas of many facets of modern India – ‘an unsentimental evaluation of contemporary India against the backdrop of its widely expected ascent to great power status in the 21st century’ – in the author’s words.

One is a bit skeptical about what a foreign correspondent can write about a country as diverse as India based on his limited experience of having lived for 5 years but Luce seems to be aware of the maxim ‘Whatever you say about India, the opposite is also true’ so he does not make any overreaching judgments. The book opens with the author visiting Auroville, a spiritual town where people from varied parts of the world, who have been attracted by India’s spirituality, live. That straightaway gets my curiosity high – as I was brought up in the city of Pondicherry where this town Auroville is located.

The author laments that what is mostly written about India in the western world is its spirituality, metaphysics and religions. The author wants to move away from it and talk about other aspects of the Indian society.

The central theme

The central message of the book is that India has much more than its religions and spirituality to ascribe its growth to and to feel proud about. In fact, India has grown in spite of its religion & spirituality! The author claims that the title was partially inspired by Nehru’s contention that the strength of India does not lie in its religions alone.

With the premise that India’s strengths do not lie in its ancient civilization or its religions but in its demographic profile and the institutional advantages that have been built over years, the author passionately conveys his message that while India has achieved quite a bit in recent years, there is indeed a long way to go and its elite cannot remain lackadaisical. “India isn’t on autopilot to greatness” he writes. This point of view is seen to be echoing throughout the book.
The book has been neatly divided into separate chapters covering one aspect of modern India – India’s lopsided economy, bureaucracy, caste-ism, Hindu nationalism, Muslim minority; Nehru-Gandhi dynasty, India’s relations with the US & China and India’s new economy class. In most of the chapters, the author uses his personal experiences in meeting different people for interviews & meetings to emphasize his opinion.

Aspects of Business, Government, and Society in the book

The Lopsided Economy

This book straightaway relates to the following topics on Business, Government & Society: ‘Indian Politics’, ‘Interest Groups’ and ‘Regulations, bureaucracy & judiciary’. To an extent, certain arguments made about the role of Government in the economy (Nehruvian Socialism Vs Liberalization) can also be considered of some relevance to B, G & S.

The initial sections of the book highlight the struggle between the ideologies of the three most important men India has had in the twentieth century – Mahatma Gandhi, Jawaharlal Nehru and Ambedkar. Of particular interest are the views of these great men on urbanization of the country. While, Gandhi calls villages as “I am convinced that if India is to attain true freedom, and through India the world also, then sooner or later the fact must be recognized that people will have to live in villages, not towns; in huts not in palaces”, Ambedkar says “What is the village but a sink of localism, a den of ignorance, narrow mindedness and communalism”. Interestingly, the debates about urbanization and its effects on a country continue to this day. Even this book carries the opinion of social workers like Aruna Roy who feel India should go back to its villages and of Nandan Nilekani who says ‘We cannot modernize Indian economy or society unless we urbanize more rapidly’. One is reminded of the series of articles that appeared in the Indian Economy Blog.

The book continues the fashion of criticizing Nehru’s economic policies (inspired by the ‘Fabians’ of the UK) for the ills of the society. The single most reason cited is the ‘disparity between the elite’s dream of an idealistic society in the future and the need of today’. Edward goes on to say ‘while there was a need for land reform and ways to increase yield, the Government built steel & aluminum plants’, ‘local irrigation was needed but large dams were built’ and ‘basic literacy & medication were needed but the Government built IITs and huge public hospitals’. Though, at one point, the author does agree that socialism was the most fashionable thing of the 50s and it went out of steam only after 15 years or so.

A couple of comparisons made in this book are striking. The first is the comparison of two decades in India (when nationalization and liberalization were the priorities of the Government of the day), one starting 1972 (when Indira Gandhi was at the helm) and the other starting 1995. The second are the comparison between the organized and the unorganized sector of workforce in India. It was surprising to know that, in spite of all the privatization that has happened in the last decade and a half, the Government employs the majority of the formal workforce.

While comparing the economic growth models of China & India, the author claims that while China has followed the Western method of agriculture to low cost manufacturing to value added manufacturing to high end services, India has leapfrogged directly into the services from agriculture. While this argument can be compared to what Thomas Friedman says in ‘World is Flat’, Edward immediately reminds us of the need that India still has 450 million people to lift out of poverty. To this, he says the ‘cure is economic’ but the ‘headache is social’. He quotes Manmohan here ‘Our single biggest problem is the lack of jobs for ordinary people. We need employment for the semi skilled on a large scale, and it is not happening to anything like the degree we are witnessing in China’.

As is customary of such works these days, the book carries information about Infosys and a few other ‘success stories’ of India’s new economy. The author calls the people who consider ‘India’s digital divide as the problem to solve’ bluff and says there are many more divides (economic/social) to resolve first.

The author ends his analysis of India’s economy as ‘… offers a schizophrenic glimpse of a high tech, twenty first century future and a distressingly medieval past.”

Bureaucracy & Judiciary

India bureaucracy & judiciary are analyzed threadbare but the author provides no new revelation. The corruption that exists in these fields is highlighted and a couple of interviews with ‘honest’ officers and judges and a visit to ‘Sunder Nagri’ carry it through. One interesting formula was ‘Monopoly + Discretion’ = ‘Corruption’.

Caste-ism

The influence of caste in the India society has been highlighted excellently. The author starts from the times of Manu and ends with the BSP and other caste parties of the day. He talks about the development of the ‘Mahar’ community, ‘Sanskritization’, the prevalence of caste-ism even among the Muslims, Christians and Sikhs and the way Tamil Nadu has managed to handle caste-ism. He seems to have lost his facts in the final point – the way Tamil Nadu has managed caste-ism. While it indeed is true that the upper castes have been ‘contained’ enough in Tamil Nadu, the struggle between the OBCs and the Dalits continues to the day in the Southern portions of the state.

Hindu Nationalism

The author next turns to the favorite whipping boy of any Western writer – the Hindu nationalism. He goes on at length about the Gujarat pogrom of 2002 and various other misdeeds of the Hindu fundamentalists. But one felt that the frequent comparison to Italy’s fascism was probably taking it too far. The comparison between Shankaracharya and Sri Sri Ravishankar was certainly the best part of this section. That he expected the audience to discuss ‘metaphysics’ with Sri Sri while they talk about every day chores was indeed funny. Equally funny is his visit to the Cow Product Research Center. Related to the learning from BGS, what is found in this section is about ‘Social Contract’. RSS supporters see the nation as the living organism that is deeply rooted in the national soil. They reject the fictional ‘social contract’ between the individuals that underlies most western ideas of the nation state because it implies the individual has a choice in the matter.

Nehru-Gandhi dynasty

We better forget what is written in the chapter on Nehru-Gandhi dynasty, because the heading itself says ‘sycophants’. Though a history of modern India cannot be written without contributions from the ‘family’, devoting a complete section on that was probably not needed. The interview with YSR towards the end of the chapter probably conveys the state of the Congress party in India. It sends a chill down the spine to think of a stage when the party would lose all its support and there is no ‘centrist’ party in Indian politics. But certainly the solution is not the dynasty.

Muslims in India

The section on Muslims in India has all elements that one would expect. The Deobands, Muslim League, 1937 provincial elections, Jinnah, ‘Direct Action Day’, Kashmir and the like are covered adequately well. One perspective that I found new was that one reason for the abysmal state of many Muslims in India is because of the exodus of all the elite Muslims to Pakistan. The author’s pronouncements that he sees a change in the attitude of Kashmiris towards the insurgents is certainly pleasing to the Indian ears, whatever be the reality.

India, US & China

India’s relations with the US & China have been analyzed well, though one is left wanting for more at the end of the chapter. The sections about ‘power of argument’ versus ‘argument of power’ - the aversion of the US to India & its diplomats that in spite of it receiving US aid, it goes about advising the US on how to go about running the country are interesting. The author seems to derive extensively from Amartya Sen’s ‘Argumentative Indian’ on these. More thoughts on how China and India would secure their energy sources in days to come would have been good – but as the author claims, he provides only limited suggestions on the future and does not provide any predictions at all.

Conclusion

The author concludes with a note on how the caste-ism and singing paeans to India’s civilization continues even among the most affluent classes in India’s new economy. While he thinks that ‘demographic profile’ and ‘institutional advantage’ would be the opportunities for India in the future, there are four major challenges that he sees – the challenge of lifting 300 million people out of absolute poverty, overcoming environment degradation, HIV and protecting & strengthening India’s liberal democracy. The sudden reference to HIV & environment at the conclusion was a bit surprising because he had not discussed that anywhere before.

‘The long tradition of pluralism has given the country hundreds of years of practice at managing social conflicts without automatic resort to violence’. The author stops short of endorsing India’s ascent as one of the global powers of the 21st century for he claims India to be a ‘status quo power’ with no unfinished agenda in terms of its geographical expansion. He opines that India’s growth is going to contribute to the world’s stability than otherwise.

Criticisms

One certain limitation of the book is that it almost conveys nothing about India’s history before the British. An unsuspecting reader might be led to believe that all claims about India’s civilization are indeed false and exaggerated. While it is true that the hype of Hindu nationalists about India’s civilization is unwarranted, it is equally true that, in spite of all its diversity and the hated caste-ism, the Indian civilization was indeed flourishing in the first millennium. Even the staunch secularist in Nehru claims in his ‘Discovery of India’ that the scientific fervor of the Indians was undone during the rule under the Moslems which probably got the country into missing the boat on Industrial revolution and the subsequent fall to the British. After all, as the author claims, Indians need a dose of ego-massage about the strengths of their civilization before embarking on any other talk.

Another limitation of the book is that the author seems to have completely missed the role of media in India’s independence and later. One more is the limited reference to the difference in culture between the North and the South Indians. Surprisingly, there is no single mention about the Aryans and the Dravidians. That should probably be the first for a book on India’s history (however ‘modern’ it is).

Recommendation

The book without doubt is clear on what it conveys; the language is witty and accessible yet confident. There is less stereotyping on what India stands for. The research done by Luce seems formidable. He does not provide hasty pronouncements – instead he uses enough and more statistics to assert his opinion. Though the primary audience for the book could be someone in the West who is interested in India, there is quite a bit for Indian audience who are either ignorant of India’s modern history or simply to get an understanding of how a westerner sees India. It is highly recommended to anyone who wishes to know what a westerner with a close linkage to India in recent times, thinks of India’s past, present and the future. Luce’s is a welcome perspective that many of us, being part of the Indian culture, cannot fully appreciate on our own due to our varied prejudices.

The lasting impression

The lasting impression of the book is that the Indian culture’s unique ability to retain its core while embracing any changes that comes its way. Though the book does not elaborate on this aspect as say ‘Discovery of India’ does, it indeed is true that in spite of all the globalization & stuff, the core of India’s culture – the caste-ism and endogamy are here to stay for a few generations to come. What haunts one is the gigantic task that India faces today - of getting the millions of people who have been subjugated to poverty for probably thousands of years. Without an attempt to change the psyche of the upper castes & OBCs towards the untouchables, if this indeed is possible is something to be seen.

... Gajendra says ...

2007-03-11T01:24:00.000-08:00

[Written by one Third Eye for my company's magazine]

This forecast is NOT based on your horoscope, NOT based on your birth date BUT based on your JOINING DATE in your current organization.

First, count the digits in your joining date. For example, if it is 13/01/2003, count as 1+3+0+1+2+0+0+3 à 10 à 1+0 à 1. This has been developed by the world renowned numerologist Gajendra who lives in the south west of Himalayas.

Now read below to know your fate based on this count.

This applies to all kinds of organizations and all kinds of people. Feel free to forward this to all your friends in different companies so that they too get to know their fate.

If the count is 1, 3 or 9

You are street-smart and are capable of completing any challenge in a short time. Towards the end of your previous workplace (or educational institute), you may have had a slight frustration and might have waited to leave that place soon. Though you had a few moments of frustration early on in your current organization, you soon picked up things and got into the groove. Your manager respects you for your capabilities, at least secretly. In the next six months, you should be getting that raise or promotion that you have been waiting for – do not worry; it will happen as per your wish. The best phase of your life is yet to happen. Say, from 3 to 5 years down the line, you would have surpassed all your current colleagues in terms of pay; designation etc. So please do continue your good work and march ahead. God is with you.

If the count is 4, 6 or 8

I got to be a bit careful in my words now since I am talking to one of the most intelligent set of people on earth. I am sure you would have revealed the exact reason for quitting your previous organization to the new employer. If you had joined from college, at a certain point in time during your college days your interests were lying elsewhere but you joined this company due to some kind of a pressure. Nevertheless, after the initial hiccups that you faced in the current organization, you kind of settled down and have been doing fairly decently at this point in time. No need to complain per se. But then, what you are not aware is that you are much more capable of what you have achieved. Your fellow workers envy you in private; whatever is their demeanor in public, and that includes your boss, my friend. The glorious phase of your career is waiting on its wings. A bit of extra effort from you in the next one year and you reach the stars.

If the count is 2, 5 or 7

You are an honest and a straightforward person. The conditions when you quit your previous organization (college or another company) offered a mix of pleasant and unpleasant experiences. However, as you moved into the new organization, the mature head you have on your shoulders made sure all those were forgotten and you started a fresh chapter in your life. The honeymoon period with the new organization did (will) not last long. You know that and you are already making sure that your contributions to the company increases day after day. Though it may not be public yet, you are being considered as one of the top most performers in your team. The day is not far when that will be revealed in public. Nevertheless, as Lord Krishna had mentioned, ‘Do your job and the fruits will follow’

Methodology

The statements mentioned in the forecast do not have any meaning to your fate. Just as I was going through the daily forecast in a daily, I got this idea of writing down the same set of statements in three different forms and calling it forecast. The statements are all of three kinds - to boost one’s ego; to offer hope for the future and to offer belief in this scoop. Nothing more!! :)

... Slaughter of the Queen’s Tongue ...

2007-01-27T06:11:00.000-08:00

[Written by one Mr.Hidden Eye in the August 2006 edition of my company's magazine. Needless to say, it generated a controversy!]

As I was going around the floor in the Chapa division, I noticed that we still have the hatred towards the British in spite of 59 years passing after they left. Yes, I mean the way we all butcher their language..!

The following is a compilation of some mails/chat & talk that happened as I walked around.

Apparently there was a demonstration to happen at Korea that day!! First the person (M@I) in India (through email) kindly requests the SISO coordinator at Korea (M@K) to demonstrate it to the client. Then to save time, they start chatting over messenger

M@I: Are you demo?
M@K: No. I am tried myself first. But I hanged.
M@I: Oh, I check. (Calls some XYZ in his team) XYZ, M@K face demo problem. Please debug him.

After a couple of hours of such talks, the problem gets resolved. And M@I sends out a mail to him team members

Hi All,

I thank all of them for your work today in resolving the issue. I hope you have already send the changes to M@K. Did you checked in the changes?

Regards,
M@I.

Such examples can actually go on & on. To the lesser blessed souls who could not laugh at the italicized portions above, let us explain each item now.

Kindly Request – You do not “kindly request”. You should request him to “kindly demonstrate”

Are you demo – It should be “Have you demo(nstrat)ed? Or are you done with the demo?

Am tried – Just tried will do

I hanged – The application/software can hang. You cannot.

I check – I shall check

Face demo problem – is facing a problem with the demo

Debug him – Debug the software to solve the issue reported by him

All of them – All of you! You should not thank someone else!

Send – Sent

Did you checked in? – Did you check in? When an auxiliary verb is used, the main verb’s present tense should be used.

Now that you have laughed at others, please find out which underlined word/phrase in the sentences below is incorrect.

• After they had finished their meal, they asked the waiter the bill.

• The cabin over there is free at the moment if you'd like to try on those clothes to see if they fit.

• Let me knowing when you come back from your holidays so that we can make arrangements to meet.

• From it's very beginning the piece of music has the power to carry you away to distant lands.

Source (http://www.english-test.net/esl/common-errors-in-english-usage.html)

... Letters to the Editor ...

2007-01-27T06:08:00.000-08:00

[Letters to the editor in the April 2006 edition of my company's magazine. Compiled by one Mr. Messiah. Read till the end]

The magazine was excellent. It was un-putdown-able. I finished it in a single sitting. My manager seems to be angry that I could not complete my work today! I blame you for that!

~ Rama Prasad, SLD.

The Cover Story was brilliant. The timing of the story was perfect. It captured the imagination of many of us! Long live SISO & SeISmO.

~ Anil Sharma, DPD

The interview with Dipesh provided great inspiration to me! That a man from a simple background could make it so big is a good lesson for everyone.

~ Deepak Choudhary, TND

Who is this Messiah guy? Am sure he would get slaps from someone one day, if he gets caught. Mr. Messiah, please write an article about the “shitty (not CITY) life in SISO” (I mean the toilets).

~ Ranganath Kulkarni, WTD

Please allow more pages for the section on books. Why not add Book Review also?

~ Rajkumar Chauhan, WTD

Flash Fiction Stories were not up to the mark. Please do not torture us with half-baked stories from geeks. If you wish to increase readership for SeISmO, publish some articles/stories from the Net.

~ Mahendra Singh Jenwar, Finance

The idea of a corporate magazine is just great. I did not expect this to come up so good. Hats off to the team who made this. I particularly liked the Technical articles. Congratulations to the SeISmO team.

~ Sachin Tendulkar, Cricketer.

Well, if you have read thus far, please accept my apologies. The magazine committee expected a lot of letters like this. But since nothing came, I myself wrote all these letters to make them happy! Since this is the APRIL edition, this is a ploy to fool you!

~ The Messiah, SISO

... Vamsi Krishna Vs Krishnamachari [2007] ...

2007-01-27T05:50:00.000-08:00

[This was written for an assignment in my Business Law course. The prof had told that we can write anything about law! People had written about cyber laws, Napster case study, Singur issue, review of a John Grisham novel and what not..! As usual, I started at the last minute! Not knowing what to write, I thought I would do something about my old habit - of writing stories! What follows is my assignment :) ]

Vamsi Krishna Vs Krishnamachari [2007] may seem like a typical study of a case in the court of law. But this is not. This is a story of the CEO of a company Vs the lawyer of the company and their arguments in a meeting on a particular day. (Considering this is submitted as an assignment for a business law paper) No prizes for guessing who wins in the end. J

In the process of the story, the following elements of the ‘Law of Contract’ are explained – the nature and scope of the law, elements of a contract and types of contracts, consideration & capacity of parties are covered. The aspects like offer & acceptance, free consent, legality of object and consideration, contingent contracts, performance of contract, discharge of contract, remedies for a breach of contract & quasi contracts are not covered in detail.

In short, Sections 1 to 12 of the act with the exception of offer & acceptance are covered in detail and the sections are 12 are not covered in detail.

Now to the story!

The whole office was waiting with bated breath. The new CEO, Vamsi Krishna, the son-in-law of Nagarjuna, the CMD of this family owned Textile Company was joining office that day. He was just back from an executive MBA course in the US of A.

He came in sharp at 9.00 am and walked into his cabin. He had his old buddies in that office. He called them all and asked them about the state of affairs of the company then. A booming economy ensured that the company made enough profits in the last couple of years. With FDI in retail being opened up slowly, they expected a lot of action in the future.

Vamsi saw an Ambani getting built in him. However, his friends opined – “That may not be possible… because there is one Mr. Krishnamachari…”

“Who is this Krishnamachari?” asked Vamsi.

“He is the company lawyer… He never lets anything go beyond the strictest legal boundaries that he has drawn… However, since your father-in-law is a close friend of his, we are not able to do anything…”

“I will take care of him… Do not worry about that… I had a Business Law course in my MBA and I know most of the business laws across the world. I guess he can be done away with” said Vamsi and closed that meeting.

Vamsi had a couple of heated arguments with his father-in-law that there is no need for a full time lawyer in the company since he had come in and had knowledge of the business laws. After a few days, the father-in-law was fed up with this discussion and told Vamsi thus “Vamsi... Look here, I will arrange for a meeting with Krishnamachari... If you can answer his simple questions on contract law that is vital in a business, we can have him out of our rolls and have him just as a consultant but if you cannot, we will retain him.”

After a bit of thought, Vamsi agreed and went in search of his business law presentations from the class.

The meeting started. The old man Krishnamachari walked in with his commanding appeal. The sight of him sent a bit of shiver in Vamsi’s spine. But he regained in composure soon and they started off after a couple of exchanges greeting each other.

With his commanding voice, Krishnamachari started, “Well Sir, what do you think is law?”

Vamsi replied, “As defined by Holland, Law is a rule of external human action enforced by the sovereign political authority”

“Good, you seem to have a terrible grasp of a few text books!! But my definition of law would just be ‘refined common sense’. Just following the text book would be dangerous sometimes. If B kills A and if it is proved that B had no intention to kill A, the law may take a lenient view than if it is proved that B had the intention of killing A. So mugging up the text books may not provide clues here. Nevertheless, that was an ice breaker. Let us get into the contracts now”

“Yes, Sir” Vamsi seemed to have gained confidence.

“What happens if you are not aware of a particular illegal activity and you enter into a contract relating to that? Will you be punished?”

“Well, why so? I will not be. I can always claim that I did not know the law clearly”

“No, my friend. ‘Ignorantia juris no excusat.’ That means, ‘Ignorance of law is no excuse’. If that is allowed, every other man can claim ignorance and act illegally, can’t he?”

“…”

Nagarjuna was watching this over video from a closed room. He smiled and thought to himself, ‘Krishnamachari is slowly getting into the groove’

Krishnamachari continued “Alright, Vamsi. Let us move on… On an average, how many contracts do you enter into in a day?”

“That depends on the day and the business I am into, isn’t it? This question looks silly to me”

“Hmm, may be silly! But your answer proves your ignorance again… When one purchases a commodity either by paying cost or credit basis or deposits his money into a bank account or keeps his luggage in cloak room, he enters into a contract. In general, the Law of contract determines the circumstances in which promises given by the parties to a contract shall be legally binding on them.”

“Oh, then I may be getting to at least 10-15 contracts every day…”

“Well, may be more… Now, next… would you explain me the scope of the law of contract?”

Vamsi could immediately recollect his presentations “Every business or commercial transaction basically starts from an agreement between two or more persons or parties. This act deals with the general principles of the law of contracts and with certain special contracts such as contracts of indemnity and guarantee. It does not deal with the contracts relating to the sale of goods, partnership, negotiable instruments, bills of lading, insurance, railways etc as there are separate acts to deal with such contracts.”

“Hmm... Good!!”

Vamsi continued with an example, “Suppose one Mr. Ambani enters into a contract with a paper mill to supply paper by a definite date. If the contract is broken by the paper mill, Mr. Ambani can claim damages from the court and will not suffer any loss.”

“That is a good example!! Vamsi, now would you tell me the difference between damage and damages!

“I hope this is not a test of English… I know that damages is the plural form for the word damage”, said Vamsi in a sarcastic tone.

“Well, Sir. I have never crossed the shores of this country, not certainly to the US. So let us assume that you know better English. But in legalese, damage means ‘Any harm or injury resulting from a violation of a legal right’ and damages means ‘A sum of money paid in compensation for loss or injury’. Got it, Sir?”

“Yes...” mumbled Vamsi.

“Good… Now, would you tell me the difference between an agreement and a contract?”

“Yes, I know this for sure” smiled Vamsi and continued, “An agreement is an offer plus the acceptance whereas a contract is an agreement plus its enforceability by law, that is, there should be a legal obligation in it. Thus all agreements are not contracts while all contracts have an agreement as part of them”

“Excellent, Vamsi! Salmond has remarked on this thus: “the law of contracts is not the whole law of agreements nor is it the whole law of obligations. It is the law of those agreements that create obligations and those obligations which have their sources in agreements”.

As he was watching this, Nagarjuna got a feeling that Vamsi too was getting to feel the importance of having someone like Krishnamachari by his side.

After a short break, the questions continued. Krishnamachari started, “Vamsi, a text-bookish question again to make you comfortable. Would you tell me the essential elements of valid contracts?”

Vamsi smiled and then answered, “Well, ‘All agreements are contracts if they are made by the free consent of parties competent to contract, for a lawful consideration and with a lawful object and are not hereby expressly declared to be void’ is the definition from the text book. Now let me use the board here and write down my points so that you may ask more questions from them”.

Both of them had a hearty laughter and Vamsi started writing down. Nagarjuna felt Vamsi and Krishnamachari were getting cozier by the minute.

Vamsi wrote the following in the board

There must be an agreement - The proposal as well as the acceptance should be definite.

Parties must be competent - Competent means the person should be a major, should be in sound mind and who is not disqualified from contracts by any law

There should be an intention to create a legal relationship

Once Vamsi wrote this, Krish (his name is too long, we will call him this way from now, though he may have terrible reservations about it!) asked, “Vamsi, do you understand this part well?”
“Yeah, it looks a no-brainer to me! All contracts would carry a legal obligation”

“True, but you got to remember the famous case of one ‘Rose & Frank Vs Crompton Brothers Ltd’ that had an agreement that states –‘The agreement is not entered into as a formal or a legal agreement and shall not be subject to legal jurisdiction in the law courts’”

“Oh God, I got to read every agreement of mine to make sure no one has inserted this mischievous clause somewhere”

Suddenly there was a voice. “Probably that is where a lawyer helps”. It was Nagarjuna! He had spoken out of reflex and the voice was audible in the meeting room.

“You listening to us, uncle?” asked a surprised Vamsi.

“Oh no, was just passing by and heard you speak…I am leaving now!” And Nagarjuna went out of that room. He was now convinced that Krish and Vamsi would come out as friends.

Vamsi continued to write.

There must be a free consent of parties to the agreement

Krish interrupted again, “What does it mean?”

Vamsi said, “This means that there should not have been any coercion, undue influence, fraud, misrepresentation or mistake. If there is one, the agreement is not valid in the court of law”

“But that is what happens in all your Bollywood tamasha, isn’t it? How do you accept it? By the way, do you know about the provisions for contracts with pardanashin women? I believe you have a lot of your clients who are from the Muslim community and who have their businesses in their wives names!”

“Yes, a lot of our dealers and agents are Muslims. Is there a special provision for pardanashin women?”

“Yes! There are a few facts to be proved in order to prove that the contract entered into with a pardanashin woman has not been induced by undue influence. That includes ‘the deed when executed was fully explained to the pardanashin woman; the woman received an independent and disinterested advice in this regard” and “the woman had complete knowledge of the nature and the effect of the transaction”

“Oh boy! I don’t believe this. How does my uncle deal with them?”

“Well, er… “

“What? Speak out”

“He has me by his side…”

Both had a hearty laughter one more time! Vamsi continued to write.

Lawful consideration - For a valid contract, such a consideration must be lawful. The agreement is enforceable legally only when both the parties to it give something and receive something in return

Legal or lawful object - The objective of the agreement must essentially be legal.

Agreement not expressly declared void by law

Just as Vamsi was writing peacefully without an interruption for a couple of minutes, Krish started “Hold it, Sir. Do you understand the difference between void and voidable?”

Vamsi thinks for a while and says, “I may think of something in English but that may not match with your legalese. So better you say! All I know now is – this discussion was avoidable if I had agreed to Nag uncle”.

They laughed again and then Krish said “In law, a transaction or action which is voidable is valid, but may be annulled by one of the parties to the transaction. Voidable is usually used in distinction to void ab initio”

“Caught again! What is this ab initio now?”

“It means ‘from the outset’, that is void from the outset”

“Oh..! That is why law is dreaded!!”

“No, my friend. Law is just refined common sense. We lawyers use these Latin phrases just to make an impression”. Laughter again and Vamsi continued to write

Compliance with legal formalities – Legal formality does not specify that a contract must be in writing. It can be made by word of mouth. However, to be able to prove in a court of law easily, a written document may help. There are certain cases where the document should be stamped & registered

“You got it right, Sir. No questions!” said Krish.

Certainty of performance

After writing this, Vamsi stopped himself and said, “Well I do not understand this”

Krish helped him, “What is means is - If the meaning of an agreement is not certain, or capable of being made certain, the agreement is void. Even an agreement to a future is not a contract. In the famous case of Loftus V Roberts case, a contract was made with an actress that her salary would be mutually agreed upon ‘later’. That agreement was not considered as a valid contract”

“Oh, I got it now! Thanks” Vamsi continued.

Lex Non Cogit Ad Impossibilia

“Well you seem to be picking up as well” quipped Krish “but do you know the meaning of that”

“I do, Sir. It means that the law does not compel in any way to do what is impossible”

“Perfect, Sir. I should admit that you too are good in making impressions”. At the risk of sounding clichéd, we got to mention again that they had a hearty laughter after this.

They took a break here and met after 10 minutes!

When they met again, Krish asked Vamsi to classify the contracts! Again a white board was used and Vamsi wrote down his knowledge. What he wrote and the information from their subsequent discussions are summarized below.

Express Contracts – the ones where every clause is mentioned explicitly
Implied Contracts – the ones where the contract is implied. When one goes to a restaurant, there is an implied contract that he is going to pay for what he eats.
Quasi Contracts – Krish had used an example to explain this to Vamsi! Suppose a businessman by mistake leaves a few of his articles (that are for sale) at the residence of someone. If that someone starts using the articles as if it is his own, he should pay the businessman for that. This is nothing but a quasi contract
Executed Contracts – When both parties fulfill their obligation, the contract has been ‘executed’
Executory Contracts – When one of the parties has something to complete yet, it is ‘executory’
Unilateral and Bilateral Contracts – When one party completes his obligation when the contract comes into force, it is unilateral while in bilateral, both the parties would fulfill their obligations after the contract is made.
Formal and Simple Contracts – The validity of formal contracts depends upon their form only and no consideration is required. In order to be valid and binding, they are required to satisfy certain legal formalities. All contracts other than formal contracts are termed as simple contracts. We would be missing an important part here had Krish not intervened – Formal contracts are not valid in India, they have been recognized only under English law.
Valid Contract – that has all the essential elements in it
Void Contract – A contract may be valid when entered into but because of impossibility of its performance due to a genuine reason or because of change of law, it may become void
Illegal Contract – One that is contrary to law. All illegal agreements are void but all void agreements are not illegal.

Then they jumped into discussing consideration. By this time, Nagarjuna too joined them. The gist of their discussion is presented below.

Consideration is a very essential element for formation of a valid contract. A contract is void without consideration subject to certain exceptions. According to Sir Pollock, ‘Consideration is the price for which the promise of the other person is brought’. Justice Fatterson defines it as ‘Something which is of value in the eye of law. It may be some benefit to the plaintiff or some detriment to the defendant’

An Example that Krish gave here was “When Vamsi employs a person as the watchman of his factory, the considerations here are that the watchman would provide his service and Vamsi would pay him the salary”

From their discussion, the essential elements of a contract were found to be these:

May be an act to do something or abstinence or forbearance of doing something
May be past, present (executed) or future (executory)
Consideration must be real and not illusory
Should move at the desire of the promisor

Krish used a case to explain this. In Durga Prasad Vs Baldeo case, a builder at his own expense but at the desire of the collector of the district spent some money on the construction and improvement of the market. In consideration of this, a shop keeper who was using the market assured to pay certain amount to the builder. It was held in the case that the builder, who was the promise, constructed the market by spending certain amount at the desire of the collector of the district and not at the desire of the shopkeeper and therefore, the agreement was not valid for the want of a good consideration.

Consideration may move from the desire of any person including the promise

An example by Krish again: In Chinnayya Vs Ramayya case, by a deed of gift, an old lady gifted certain property to her daughter ‘R’ and directed R that she should pay an annuity to her relative ‘C’/ Accordingly, the agreement was executed in writing. But later on R refused to fulfill her promise on the ground of lack of sufficient consideration. Madras High court help that the words promise or any other person in Section 2(d) of the act shows that a stranger to the consideration can maintain the suit.

For supporting each independent promise, there must be an independent consideration
Consideration need not be adequate
Consideration is something which the promisor is not already bound to
Consideration must be valuable at the eyes of law

Finally, the schedule time for the meeting came to an end. Vamsi realized that the last couple of sessions had only Krish speaking and he did not have anything to offer for discussion, forget answering Knish’s questions. As you guessed, he had made his decision.

Nagarjuna asked, “Mr. CEO, what do you feel now? What is your decision?”

Vamsi replied, “Well Mr. CMD, I think the compensation given to the company lawyer is too low. We may have to revise it upwards very soon!!!”

As usual, there was a hearty laughter and the meeting came to an end.

References:
[1] http://dateyvs.com
[2] http://www.4lawschool.com/contracts/contracts.htm
[3] Business Law – Prof SD Geet & Prof Patil
[4] Business Law – Prof SD Geet (Symbiosis)
[5] Lectures and PPTs of Professor Murali at IIM-Bangalore

[Watch this space to find out how much I scored in this! :) ]

... The art of attaining zero productivity ...

2007-01-27T05:44:00.000-08:00

[This article was written by one THIRD EYE for our company magazine's December edition!]

As the year draws to a close, I thought of writing a piece of advice to my colleagues. After scratching my head for so long on what to advice upon, I decided to do the thing I do best – snoop at what others do to see if I get an idea. As always, I went around a company I call Tri-Star India. Following is the list of items that I could gather from there which could be of use to you! (No, I will not tell specifically which skill was learnt from which floor!!)

In summary, this contains tips on how to look busy without actually having to do anything other than orkutting and replying to old flames from the college with an alarming regularity of every 5 minutes. You may think appearing busy is easy enough. But believe me, people who have been successful in this would tell you how much of planning, dedication & commitment is needed for this. Else you may end up in having to open your Source Insight window and do some coding! Does that sound daunting? Then read on.

There is no such thing as daunting to anyone, more so for a fresh engineer as seeming to appear to be unoccupied and spending less hours in the office. The first thing to do is to visit the office gym early in the morning. You may choose to just swipe in and go home to continue the sleep. But it is very important to do this if you need to clock at least 15 hours 45 minutes & 23 seconds in the attendance records.

The next most important thing is about your work place setting. Make sure it is surrounded by all kinds of books and print outs ranging from “Hacking Linux Kernel for Dummies” (even if you work on purely on Windows) and “Software Engineering Institute’s view on the product line architecture” to “The Hitchhiker’s guide to time management” and “Metaphysical aspects in the Vedic mathematical theory”. Without these, your manager may think you are not smart. If you are running short of print outs to cover the table, do approach the human resources guys. If nothing, they can at least give you a lot of unattended resumes with them that you can use to cover your table.

When you are bored with orkutting, blogging and important things like that, one great time pass destination is the tuck shop on the terrace. But if you are caught there by your manager (who in turn will be afraid of getting caught by his manager, who in turn… you get the point), you will be in trouble. So make sure you carry a lot of print outs with you and a few notebooks! Even if you are talking about securing a home loan at the lowest rate, make sure you keep looking at the papers with you and take notes on them. This will give an impression that you are on a project discussion even when you are having a juice.

Another mechanism to spend time is what they call meetings!! Make sure you are part of every single taskforce that is created in your office. That alone will ensure that you are occupied all the time without actually having to do anything. To make an impression in the meetings (which will facilitate your entry into other taskforces), make sure to carry a file with full of print outs. Once a while, you may wake up from sleep and make a remark saying it was told by Nicholas Wirth or Philip Kotler or Peter Drucker depending on the context.

On top of all these, if you are part of the varied committees in your office that is into things like “culture development” (the one I visited had committees like CheeseMow, Manyskrti etc), you will have great fun doing nothing or at best scaling down a technical journal into a fun magazine or conducting antyakshari competitions.

These are just the basic things. As you progress, you will identify many more people like that and learn from them.

Here is wishing you all the best in this endeavor in the New Year.

... Time to Reflect ...

2006-12-29T06:42:00.000-08:00

Amigo,

With new year celebrations around, hope this greets you in the best of your spirits!! Wish you an excellent new year ahead & may all your wishes [ at least the ones you truly deserve ;-) ] come true!!

Get no harm & do no harm. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Since I am in too much of a "preachy" mood now, I better stop it. But since it would not be good if I end my email so short(!), please see excerpts from an article in Amartya Sen's Argumentative Indian at the end of this email about CALENDARS.

The blue shaded sentence below with a bold formatting would reveal the reason for the subject of this email.

Have a fun filled two-oh-oh-seven, mate!

Adios,
Kay.
*******************

...need for a calendar has been strongly felt — and well understood — well before the modern age. The calendar, in one form or another, has been an indispensable requisite of civilised life for a very long time indeed. This explains why so many calendars are so very old, and also why most civilisations, historically, have given birth to one or more specific calendars of their own.

...calendars in a particular society can teach us a great deal about its politics, culture and religion as well as its science and mathematics. This applies even to as diverse a country as India, and it is in this sense that there will be an attempt in this essay to try to understand India through its calendars.

...fact that the integer value of 365 days to the year is only approximate was, of course, known to the Indian mathematicians who constructed the calendars. To compensate for this, the periodic adjustments standardly used in many of the Indian calendars take the form of adding a leap or intercalary month (called a ‘mala masa’) to bring practice in line with the dictates of computation.

...though the divisions of time that any particular calendar gives are quite arbitrary and dependent on pure convention, nevertheless a socially devised celebratory break point in time can be an appropriate occasion for reflection on the nature of the world in which we live....

...the calendars reveal, in fact, a great deal more than just the months and the years.

*******************

Courtesy: http://www.littlemag.com/2000/sen.htm

... Interview on PGSEM with Prof Bandi ...

2006-12-28T00:10:00.000-08:00

Since a lot of material about PGSEM is available in many other places, this is an attempt to get information from the Chairperson of the course, Professor Rajendra Bandi that would not be available elsewhere.

This interview was conducted as part of the ‘Career Development’ section in my company’s magazine SeISmO that I edit.

Excerpts from the session below! All emphasis are added by me!

SeISmO: Would you elaborate a bit more on this distance mode that you are trying?
Professor: Well, I would call this “Distributed” mode, not “Distance” mode. Because though the students and the faculty are geographically separated, they can communicate with each other as comfortably as any other class. The interaction is not through text messages or emails but there is a real-time face-to-face interaction between the faculty and the students.

It is important to understand the reason why Chennai was chosen first and we are mulling with Hyderabad now & not throwing it open to all cities. Though we rely on technology for this, we do not want to depend 100% on technology. Until we reach a stage where this mode of operation matures, we want the location to be such that our faculty can easily travel & attend to the classes in the other city. Chennai being the closest to Bangalore was chosen first. Hyderabad also can be reached easily. Thanks to Infosys, we have an excellent campus in Chennai. Another partner has agreed to set up the campus for us in Hyderabad.

SeISmO: From which session is the course starting in Hyderabad? I have heard it might start in Pune too.
Professor: We are far off from Pune. Hyderabad is next on our agenda. We had almost taken a call on this. But because of other dynamics like the count of PGP (regular MBA course of IIM-B) students being increased (due to reservation) etc., having this in Hyderabad would create a greater demand on the faculty time. We consider PGSEM at par with our full time PGP course in IIM-B & do not want to make any compromises on the program quality. So, given this uncertainty about the PGP seats, the formal green signal has not been given for this. That is the reason we are kind of holding back on this for now. Hyderabad is going to happen! But I cannot answer when, at this moment. We have been getting requests to start this in Pune & Gurgaon but in the next 2-3 years, there is no thought about it.

SeISmO: I have a question about the partner companies. Are there any specific seats that are reserved for partner companies?
Professor: There is no quota; per se. Partner companies are those that provided us generous support, in cash & kind, when the course was started. In return, what we offer them is that for a few years; if in our normal admission process, candidates from their company get selected, we would offer fee reduction to a few of them. The companies decide who gets it. That number varies from one partner to another. So there is no compromise on the admission process. Only after the normal admission process gets over, we identify the students from the partner companies & consult the company on who gets fees reduction.

SeISmO: Is there any specific formula that you apply on the techie that you take in, to make him a competent techno-manager when he goes out?
Professor: No. This is a general management program. It is only that we are conscious that the students we get in are good technologists. In terms of inputs that we provide to the students, the faculty may provide examples and cases that are related to technology. Also a few electives may be designed for your industry, for example, HR management course may be designed to fit your industry since people management issues faced in your industry are different from other industries. A lot of examples do come from other industries since there is a lot to learn from there. We want you to become good general managers whatever industry you work in. In summary, this is a general management course that is conscious that all its students come from the IT industry. The title of the program is very important here: The key in PGSEM is the word “enterprise”. It is about managing an enterprise primarily. Secondary is that the enterprises happen to be software development enterprises.

SeISmO: If this is a general management program, why not open this course to other industries?
Professor: This program (content, timings, duration, etc) has been designed specifically towards the general management requirements in the IT industry. Apart from that, there are other questions like why is this not an evening program. But we knew that if it were to be conducted between 6 and 9 in the evening, given the nature of their engagements, no software professional would be able to attend this. Such timings are different between IT and other industries. Not all industries have Saturdays free. The current program design makes it feasible for students from the IT industry. If we were to open it to other industries then there will have to substantial changes in the program logistics. The program in its current form is not feasible for students from other industries. We have debated this internally many times but the institute is very clear, that this program remains positioned for the professionals from the IT industry.

SeISmO: Would you tell something about the PGSEM Alumni who have gone out & made it big?
Professor: Sure. But one thing first, it takes a while for the alumni to make a mark. Our PGP alumni have been around for more than 3 decades now. But PGSEM alumni have been there only for less than half a decade. Yet if you look into the kind of alumni we have, it is impressive. In Infosys, we have Hargopal, who is a Senior VP today and he is singularly handling their Finacle product (banking product of Infosys). In Wipro, we have Suraj Prakash who is a Senior VP again. He is one person who I can still draw upon for any assistance for the institute in terms of evaluating project presentations & stuff like that. Another alumnus is Deepak Khandwal, from Siemens. He practically heads the India operations today. There is another person in Infosys who reports to Mr. Srinath Batni. He single handedly handles one of their prestigious projects (400 million dollar project) in Europe. Mr. Batni was mentioning to me that he had recommended PGSEM to that guy and that he could see a huge transformation in that person every week he was attending the course, in terms of his confidence in dealing with the clients and everyone else. That I think is essentially what we provide here. Anyone can pick up a book & understand the financial principles etc but the interaction between the students & between the student and the faculty is what causes this transformation. Then, in Honeywell, we have Madhava Vemuri. He in fact comes and teaches the PGSEM students here. In Motorola, we have Ramesh Sundarraman as a Business Development Manager for mobile business. He has convinced the management into making a slim & value for money phone designed specifically for India. The management got convinced and made him responsible for that project. The phone was launched recently. Now he is not the person who would get as much press coverage as a person in Pepsi or a Coke but he is one person who has made a substantial difference to the industry. There is another person, Sandeep who has quit his technical job & taken up the process reengineering project for the whole of British Council offices in South Asia. That is the kind of opportunities that the course opens up.

SeISmO: How does this course compare with PGP?
Professor: While PGP caters to people just out of college or who have very less experience, PGSEM caters to people who have worked long in the industry and who feel the need for a management education at that point. Though we do allow people from 2 years of experience, we do make sure to mention that we prefer people with 4-5 years of experience. Full time MBA is not an option that everyone can afford for various reasons. There are different people who take different paths. We do not want to make a judgment on one being a better route. In PGSEM, we want to reach out to people who want to continue working and at the same time enhance their competencies.

PGSEM is not a certificate seeking thing that can offer immediate tangible benefits. It is more the MBA experience and the overall package of knowledge that you get. If one thinks that his company might move him to a new position immediately, it may not happen. In full time PGP, at the end of two years, there is a different culmination – your placement. We do not offer that kind of a thing. However we are working on a career workshop kind of a thing where our students are given counseling by industry leaders on how to shape their careers further on.

From the institute’s point of view, the design, content & expectations wise, there is no difference between PGP and PGSEM. We make that statement even in our PGSEM certificate. However, we do acknowledge that the people who do this course work, have their own demands in family life that puts severe constraints on time. That is why we expect an approval form from the employers, because without the organizational support, it is not possible to complete this.

SeISmO: If I were to compare this course with ISB or PGP-X at IIM-A, can I say that they offer students a chance to move out of their current domain into other domains while PGSEM lets a student grow in the software domain itself?
Professor: Not necessarily! PGSEM does not presuppose those. It leaves enough opportunities for someone who wants to grow in the same industry, someone who wants to move to some other industry and also to someone who wants to remain in the same industry but wants to make a functional shift. The program is broad enough for the student to mould his career as he wants.

SeISmO: Who is an ideal student for PGSEM?
Professor: Unlike PGP, all the students coming into PGSEM have work experiences ranging from 2 to 15 years. So, we want the PGSEM students to share their experiences and perspectives & enrich the course itself.

... What is PGSEM & Some Alumni ...

2006-12-20T07:05:00.000-08:00

(Had made this document for a brochure to be given at the open house in IIM-B recently. Someone gave me Rs. 10/- yesterday to post something. So thought I would put this here! :) )

What is it?

Post Graduate Program in Software Enterprise Management
About managing an enterprise that is primarily into software development; NOT software management per se
Executive General Management Program
Customized for mid-career professionals in the Software and Information Technology industry
Aims to transform professionals with strong technical knowledge to business leaders with equally strong management knowledge and a global perspective
Modularly designed allowing students to take breaks during the program

Quick Facts

Launched in 1998 in Bangalore
Started the distributed mode in Chennai in 2005
This is not “distance” mode – just distributed; participants at Chennai are equally at ease in interacting with the professors as their Bangalore counterparts are!
Total intake is 150 students for the 2007 batch, with 75 students in Bangalore as one section & the other 75 as the second section with students split between Bangalore & Chennai
Most companies in the IT industry in Bangalore support their employees (both financially & in other means) to pursue this program. Talk to the HR manager of your company to find if your company does

Specialties

The only management programme in the country of its kind
The curriculum is continuously reviewed to meet the changing demands of the IT Industry
Lets a student identify h(er)is career path & mould it the way (s)he wants – instead of cocooning h(er)im into a particular domain
Has provided the impetus to some of the past students to launch their own ventures and has enabled the rest to progress into greater managerial responsibilities
Option to participate in International Student Exchange Programs/ take courses at top universities when posted outside the country
Flexibility to be away from the program for one or more quarters after the first year
Admits a heterogeneous pool of students with years of experience ranging from 2 to 15 creating a unique & enriching learning experience

The Ideal Student

Has worked in a software or information technology related industry for at least 2 but preferably 4-5 years
Prides him(er)self on h(er)is understanding of the latest technologies & keeps abreast of contemporary developments & future technology trends but is mesmerized by world of business & wants to understand the nuances of business
Has the mindset & wherewithal to successfully manage demanding schedules at work, family & also the institute
Is not a plain certificate-seeking person who believes in overnight success but looks at this course as a package that provide invaluable but intangible benefits to h(er)is career

Some Distinguished Alumni

Uma Balakrishnan, CEO, Axcend Automation & Software Services (her own organization)- PGSEM 1998 batch
Deepak Kandwal, Head- Special Assignments, Siemens Communication Software- PGSEM 1998 batch
Seetharaman K, GM, Media, Publishing & Entertainment practice, Wipro Technologies- PGSEM 1998 batch
H.R Venkatesh, VP, PES, Japan & Asia operations, Wipro Technologies- PGSEM 1998 batch
Haragopal Mangipudi, VP, Global Head- Professional Services, Finacle, Infosys Technologies Ltd- PGSEM 1998 batch
Samyeer Metrani, VP, Product development, Mistral Software Pvt Ltd- PGSEM 1998 batch
Anurag Seth, GM, Transportation industry solutions, Wipro Technologies- PGSEM 1998 batch
Sandeep Sehgal: MD, eLitmus Evaluation Pvt Ltd- PGSEM 1999 Batch
Hariharan: CTO, Real Soft (Intl) Pvt Ltd.- PGSEM 1999 Batch
Dipesh Shah, VP Mobile Division, Samsung India Software Operations - PGSEM 1999 Batch
Y.R. Muralidhara, Head of Engineering, Emuzed India Pvt Ltd-- PGSEM 2000 batch
Jay Doshi, VP Engineering, Turning Point Software Solutions Pvt Ltd- PGSEM 2001 batch
Suresh Ananpurkar, VP Engineering, MCHQ India Payment Systems Pvt Ltd- PGSEM 2003 batch
Harish Arora, Director, N1P1 & SUN MC Engineering, Sun Microsystems India Pvt Ltd- PGSEM 2003 batch

(You know whose name is certain to appear here in the future hehehe)

... The PGSEM Story, so far ...

2006-11-12T04:34:00.001-08:00

Ever since I wrote this, I have received at least 50 emails asking me something or the other about PGSEM. This post is to clarify all those doubts once for all from my end! In the process, this will also throw light on what I feel about PGSEM after joining the course!

First a few clarifications:

1. This post will not answer questions like how to prepare for PGSEM. This will try to answer other lesser answered questions! There is a Yahoo Groups dedicated for this purpose. There is an excellent collection of FAQ-s in it. Do go through that. Well, If you indeed want to know how I prepared for this - I spent around a month with a borrowed CAT preparation book. That should do if you are as intelligent or as dumb as I am! About, how easier the PGSEM test is relative to CAT, I do not know, because I have not written CAT anytime.

2. The views expressed here are my own. And you guessed it, they could be horribly wrong. But only time can tell when I agree they are all wrong.

Alright, let us move into the post now.

What is the relevance of the word 'software' in PGSEM?

The word 'enterprise' in PGSEM should carry more weight than 'software'. If you prefer, you may give weight to the words together! ('software enterprise'). People who pursue this are supposed to be trained on managing a software enterprise! Since the program was set up with an idea of developing good managers for the software industry in Bengalooru (with funding by software companies), it accepts only people from software companies! Note - It is not only technical people. You could be in HR Management, Marketing Management, Loo Management (probably), anything - but you should be in a software company!

Is it like PGP? Is it similar to the MBA from ISB?

No, It is not. It will never be. If you have dreams of changing your career into something like finance/marketing, better go for a PGP if you are young enough or to ISB otherwise. (Young here means <2 years of work experience). At the end of a PGP or an MBA from ISB, you have an option to change your career through placement offers in the campus! But there is nothing like that in PGSEM. You are left to your own to find your career. I have not heard any stories so far about how someone (alumni) went & changed his career into finance/marketing whatever. Read the previous statement properly - it says 'I' have not heard. There could be some. But I guess not many! Otherwise I would have heard, right? In any case, I guess someone might convince the management of the company he works for (which indeed would be a software company) to offer him a position in HR/Marketing/Whatever. If he applies for an investment banker position with an investment banking firm, I do not think he will be taken in. Having said all these, here is the disclaimer: Since there is not much information about the alumni of PGSEM available in public domain, all these could be wrong. But I stand by my advice : If you have dreams of changing your career into something like finance/marketing, better go for a PGP if you are young enough or to ISB otherwise.

The Alumni

As told a little ago, not much information is available in the public domain. There was an alumni meet held in July 2006 with a lot of fanfare but after that, there has not been much noise about the alumni. My guess is - Either the profile of the alumni is nothing great to boast about so it is not being published or the profile is so good that it being published would cause a melee among the soon-to-be-alumni.

I personally believe that my first guess is correct. There is nothing big to boast about. From what I noticed during the alumni meet, people who were already in high-enough positions have reached even higher positions after PGSEM. And people in smaller positions have either grown normally in the company or have made shifts like 'Project Mgr - Delivery Mgr'. How much of all these is due to PGSEM is always debatable & can probably never produce a solid single answer.

Does all these mean, there are no benefits of doing PGSEM?

No. It does not mean that. There are benefits, but they are all intangible! As an alumni of PGSEM who is currently a vice president in a multi-national firm put it - PGSEM did not give me this position directly. But certainly it has helped me think in better ways than I used to before! It provided me with a better sense of the business world. That way, it indirectly helped me rise to this position.

So, if you want to gain knowledge & you are confident that you would be able to apply that knowledge & come up in life, PGSEM is for you. Do not expect any tangible benefits. The justification of the money/time/energy spent may not be seen just at the end of the course. It may probably never be seen if you do not take it forward.

Branding PGSEM

If PGSEM-ers need to have an edge over others, PGSEM needs to be branded well among the managers in software industry. This was started in a small way - with Businessline featuring an article about PGSEM & SmartTechie carrying an article about the alumni meet - but without information about how the alumni have fared & how the alumni have helped companies, the exercise remians a non-starter. It has lost all its steam. Probably when some information about the alumni gets known, this can be started back.

What kind of people do PGSEM?

I would categorize the people who do PGSEM as follows - People with 2-4 years experience who have dreams of changing their careers (I hope they do); People with 8+ years of experience who have spent many years in the US, are already in high positions in their companies, who are married, have a few kids. They do PGSEM purely for learning; The third are the 'stuck in the middle' people - 4-8 years of experience. They are in project lead kind of positions in their respective companies. They know they have to do something to stay ahead of their peers & they feel PGSEM could offer the clue; The fourth group are the smart guys who really know what they are doing! (Well actually the fourth group is where all my classmates who read this belong to :) )

There is no big networking that happens too! It does but not to the extent of what a full time course can offer. Since there are people from different software companies, one can indeed get 'referred' in many companies! :)

Courses-Profs-Learning

The courses & the professors are very good. The course structure/content is quite similar to that of a regular MBA. I wonder why this is not made an executive-MBA program for all industries instead of restricting it to software alone!

The TINA factor

I have probably told more negative things here & scared you. You may ask if that is the case, why the heck am I doing PGSEM! The answer is - TINA (not the former actor!). Well, I did not want to switch to another profession - I am content to work for a software company! But I do wish to move away from the technical side to more of management - not just project or product management - but managing the company as a whole! So, an ISB or a PGP are probably too costly affairs. With those ruled out, I could not find any other exec-MBA program to fit my needs!! So it is TINA - There is no alternative!

These are my thoughts at this point in time! I am sure during the course of the course my thoughts would change (mature!) and I would make better comments! I plan to update this once every quarter.

Watch this space!

... Two Emails ...

2006-06-11T07:29:00.000-07:00

Two emails that I sent recently got rave reviews from many recipients. Reproduced here (for want of other posts !!) :-)

First

Dear Friend/Well-Wisher,

Greetings!

This email is to inform you about a recent development in my life.

Come 17th of June 2006, I shall be taking the first step towards the next phase in my life. Though the urge to move into this phase was present for quite a while, it started in its current manifestation only for the last one year! The preparations were on, for most part of this time. The first tryst happened on 19th of March, 2006.

Though I was a little apprehensive about it proceeding further, it did proceed further - probably due to divine interventions in the wake of continuous prayers from my parents & well-wishers since they thought it was a not to be left proposal.

The second tryst happened on the 14th of April, 2006. We met for only 15 odd minutes. But everything seem to have got decided in just those 15 minutes.

And today it got finalized. The date has been set. It is 17th of June, 2006.

As I enter this phase, my freedom would get lost a bit. I might not be able to spend the weekend for myself. Also, I would have to be in India continusouly, at least for an year. My travels to Korea/elsewhere would get affected.

So that way, there would be a bit of loss on the monetary front too. More than that, I cannot think of changing companies at the drop of a hat. So, as we find from the preceding paragraph, we find that there are quite a bit of sacrifices to be made in the short term. All in the hope of getting better returns in the long term :)

As I step into this next phase, I need all your best wishes! Am sure you would wish me the best always! Thanks for that.

Well, since you might still be wondering "what the heck" I am talking about here, let me tell it straight. I have got admission to PGSEM course in IIM, Bangalore. The course starts from 17th of June, 2006. You thought it was something else? Silly! That is not a development! :)

Regards,
Kay Dot Yes

Second

Dear Friend,

It was the most romantic day one can imagine. Soothing clouds had covered the sun & gaseous particles of love were floating around in a rhythmic pattern. Love was in the air. It was around 4 pm & I was with my mother. My mother introduced me to a dusky statuesque figure. Call it love at first sight or fleeting infatuation, I was immediately smitten by her. Believe me, it was my first date.

Initally, she seemed to be a little circumspect about my devotion towards her. I was miffed by this attitude; but in retrospect I can say she was just being thoughtful. It took a lot of efforts to instill in her the feeling that I was indeed meant for her. A big-time naive that I was, when we accosted each other, I was like a toddler and my heart was shuddering like a pressure cooker. Thankfully my parents were very helpful in setting up many of our initial meetings & were with us always.

Our relation since then has only burgeoned. We started seeing each other regularly. Soon after, I have not had the need for my parents to join. You know, sometimes it helps to not have them around. :) I have been with her for so long and in a lot of places - at geographies of varying time zones - that the romantic day mentioned above looks too much into the past.

These days, she has such a soothing and becalming aura about her that I don't have to put an extra effort to tune my frequency to hers. She has had relations (platonic of course!) with many more people - before & even after I got introduced - in fact, she is timeless in a way, I would say. Sometimes I feel jealous when she seems to be good with other people but I can vouch that our relation has never been as steady as it is now. Throughout my meetings with her to-date, I have felt so comfortable, giggled like a child & blushed till every pore of my skin suffused with tinge of red.

I’ve never been unfaithful to her, have never had a thought of severing the romantic link with her. And I guess she understands that. I have always found in her an understanding and a tolerant company; sometimes overlooking a fair share of escapades I venture into. We have of course had a few unpleasant memories, but I would better not dwell on that now! Nevertheless, I have received my own share of punishments from her - more so when I have oversped in bikes.

Today is the 27th anniversary of that romantic day. A day to remember that I am at the oldest I have ever been & at the youngest I will ever be.

If you wish to celebrate this, please come & have chocolates at my desk.

Regards,
Kay Dot Yes

... When Bangalore Burned ...

2006-06-11T07:21:00.000-07:00

I had written this as the 'Cover Story' for my company (Three Star) magazine, titled "When Bangalore Burned, What did IT companies do". And this was promptly turned down by the HR :-). Actually there is nothing bad written in it - Read it for yourself!! Anyways, I accepted their sentiments & did not publish it.

The Event

Bangalore, arguably, witnessed its worst ever riots in a decade following the sudden death of Dr. Rajkumar, the Annavru, close to the hearts of millions in Karnataka.

The reasons attributed to the riots vary from “genuine display of emotions by fans of Rajkumar” to “anti-social elements making use of the opportunity” to “mob mentality that humans possess when it is known that they would not be caught” to “socially & economically backward sections venting their ire against the neo-rich in Bangalore”.

Well, we shall leave those discussions to the “Big Fights” in the electronic & print media. We shall devote this story to something else!

A Google Search on “Bangalore Riots” (as on 23 April 2006.Note: No word ‘IT’ was included in the search) has the top 10 searches listing the loss incurred by the IT firms in Bangalore during the riots. When such is the importance given to IT firms by the media, let us see how the IT companies (only software development companies, no BPOs considered) reacted to this adversity!

The Survey!

We went around conducting a survey with employees in different companies!

Ganesh Awasthi (name changed), working at a MNC telecom major says, “Once the news about the death reached us on Wednesday afternoon, we called up the security. He seemed to be unaware of the incident. Repeated calls to the HR were never picked up. Apparently, they were in a meeting to discuss the situation. And as you would guess, they came out without a decision. It took three more hours for them to decide that we should leave, and that was close to the end of office hours! We have dropped complaints about this. But you know how it works!”

Ranjeeta (name changed), working at a small Indian services company avers, “The day of cremation was worse. There was no declaration whatsoever and a few sincere employees did turn up to the office. You know what, that did not include our HR manager.”

Raman (name changed), who works for an Indian services major says, “Our Company was prompt in declaring a holiday. But they are even more prompt in announcing a compensatory working day!”

Sumit (name changed), who works for a Japanese start-up is quite happy with his company’s response - “They did not decide anything on Wednesday. But they were prompt enough to call us on Thursday morning & ask us not to come to office! And till now they have not announced any compensatory holiday also!”

Well, these seem to have summed up the reactions in most of the IT companies. Findings from our survey reveal the following

Ø The software majors in India (with employees in tens of thousands) seem to have mastered the art of handling these situations. They have been prompt in announcing holiday for Thursday (13 April) on Wednesday (12 April) itself

Ø The small sized firms (with employees in tens or a few hundreds) could decide on Thursday morning & inform their employees over phone

Ø Only the medium sized firms (with employees from a few hundred to a few thousands) seem to have had tough times! Neither did they have a quick decision making mechanism to decide on Wednesday. Nor could they inform the employees on Thursday; once the decision was made (it is virtually impossible to make calls to thousands of employees!)

The Solution!

Instead of blaming the HR managers of medium sized companies for this, let us consider them as human as others are (with respect to making decisions, getting out of home on a riot day etc) and try to provide some solutions to them.

How should the medium sized firms handle situations like these? Quick decision making mechanisms should evolve, they cannot be forced. As these companies mature, the decision making mechanism would automatically set in. That leaves us with just one option – to contact the employees & inform them.

But how to do this? Making phone calls to everyone is not possible!

Some options that quickly come to the mind are these –

Ø Call the managers. They would inform their team. Information would spread word of mouth
Ø Inform the bus operators not to ply. When the employees call them, they would inform
Ø Advertise in local television & FM Radio
Ø SMS all employees! (Not manually. There are software to do this)

One more section was present here about my company! I am removing it here for obvious reasons! :)

Tailpiece: Nevertheless my suggestion for an SMS set up was taken seriously & is being implemented now!

The Nectar Hill (Concluding Part)

2006-06-11T07:16:00.000-07:00

Ponnan, Ie10 & I set of to Phuket in a chartered flight that John Sir managed to arrange for us. He took care for emigration issues too.

There was a lone assistant in the flight. She approached us & asked,

"Shall I serve your food now, Sir?"

"No. We are OK. We will have it in Phuket" said Ie10. I was hungry but before I could talk something Ie10 signaled me to keep quiet.

She was a taken aback a little by this.

"Anything to drink, Sir"

"No."

"Anything else, Sir"

"Have sex with me"

Said Ie10 & pulled out her sari. Well, his sari.

She, sorry, he immediately took out his gun. But Ponnan was fast enough to hit him down.

"American agents..." said Ie10.

As soon as landed in a junk location in Phuket, we were not just three. We were an army. Yes, Ponnan brought all his men. Had a good night's sleep. The next day morning, we had a meeting arranged with his intelligence unit. They had found the following.

(1) The rival group of aliens had established a presence in Thailand
(2) They were constantly in touch with the Americans

But I wondered what they were planning to do.

"Come on guys... Now it is a problem that Thailand has with America... And Ie10 has with his rivals... Why do India or for that matter, I figure in?"

"My Lord... Don't talk crap..." His group was astonished to see Ponnan talk like this to the Lord... Nevertheless, he continued... "This is a global problem... It will be started at India... with ramifications across the globe...."

"Boy... but how?"

"Do you remember the Tsunami of 2004?"

"Of course... "

'It was not a natural disaster...”

"Then?"

"It was done by the aliens & the Americans... "

"How can they do it? I do not believe this... "

"Believe it or not, it was done by them... I am getting tired of you, my Lord...”

"Hmm, do you believe this, Ie10?"

"Of course... I do... "

"How is it possible?"

"Simple... Tell me how a Tsunami is formed?"

"By an earthquake under the sea... "

"Let us not call it earthquake... Let us say, by disturbances in the sea-bed... You agree?"

"Hmm... Yes, I do..."

"May be the Americans had disturbed the sea bed... using nuclear weapons.... to create this Tsunami.... of course with help from the aliens... "

"Why would they do this? What do they gain? They could instead bomb these countries... Thailand, Indonesia etc... By why at all these countries?"

Ponnan answered.

"You misunderstand it two fold... If they bomb directly, they get the world's wrath the next minute... Which they do not want... So this 'natural disaster thing'... Secondly, they do not want to destroy Indonesia or Thailand... They want to destroy India..."

"India? Why then here?"

"To escape suspicion.... They missed their target anyways...."

"Target?"

"Yes, they had targeted the Kalpakkam nuclear facility in India... They wanted the Tsunami to hit it... And the reactor getting broken... And create a disaster of the scale 100 times that of Chernobyl... This was just the starting... Like this, they planned to do things across the world... This would leave only the US... as the super power forever... "

"Boy..."

Ie10 said... "But that is what the Americans might think.... You think their alien friends would keep quiet after that? They want to conquer earth & establish their colonies here... With America's help, they would wipe out the world and then they would wipe off the Americans by creating divisions within the US..."

"Luckily for the world, they failed at the first step... "

"But they would try again, aint it...?"

"They are trying a lot of things... The tremors of smaller intensity seen across this region are not tremors... They are tests being done..."

As we were talking this, news reached us that an earthquake had occurred in Indonesia killing thousands...! Ponnan was furious.

"We got to act now... This is again to fool the world... That there are seismic actions in this region... A few days later, they would create another Tsunami... and this time it may hit Kalpakkam...."

"Wait, friends.... I will find out a way!!" Ie10 said.

As he was saying this, he was shot in the head by a bullet that no one knew! The Americans have apparently been following us. They should have got confused that one of their men had joined forces with us! Now, Ie10 had to come out of this body & get into someone else!! But then, when he comes out, the person would die. We did not have enough time to find an enemy to do this; we had to fight the enemies before they triggered the next Tsunami.

I volunteered. My own small way to save the world. Ponnan & others immediately offered themselves. But I was adamant. They had their own roles to play! If one of my fore fathers had actually fought the aliens, let me too do that! May be I too would end up in folklore!

Ie10 got into me. We became one now! Ie10 did a trick again. He partitioned my brain. He would reside one side & me on the other side. We would of course context switch to use the resources - the nerves, muscles etc! And we could communicate amongst us by a shared memory! He could even travel to his galaxy & get back - provided I am sleeping - until he comes back. If I wake up before that, I die. The boot up was stored in his section. So he needs to be present.

We then sat to discuss the action plan. We realized that there was no way to fight the US forces. Ponnan's men were just naive guerilla fighters. They cannot withstand the US army. Luckily for us, we got a message from the CIA. They wanted to talk to us. Apparently they had heard our talk. And when they got to know what Ie10 mentioned, that America would be wiped out later on, they should have got afraid.

I, as Ie10, met the local CIA agent for South East Asia soon after. The US Government, happy that they at least got into touch with some "good alien" decided to dump the other aliens - but they demanded that it should be shown to the world that they found the alien, and not India. We agreed. After all, the world should be saved.

The Americans dumped their friends as usual. They showed us the bad aliens. Ponnan & his men could easily destroy the physical bodies they had taken. And they had no go than to leave Earth & go. They could not reach their planet too. Ie10 had instructed his men to destroy them when they went back. Without their regular ammunition, they were killed. This created an intra-galactic war in Andromeda. Earth was safe at least until that goes on.

Ponnan & his men have returned to their job, of saving the Chola kingdom from aliens.

Only issue is that Ie10 cannot travel to his place so often. He would wait till I get into my deep sleep & my mind enters the delta level and leave my body. And get back immediately! Else I die. Once he tried to get out during my REM sleep but that caused fits in me. So he does not try that anymore.

I am trying in my own ways to help him, though. I am practicing various kinds of meditation now. And let my astral body float around the space. Ie10 & I (my astral body) have roamed till the end of Solar System so far. Soon, I expect to get the power to move more! And one day, roam around Andromeda with Ie10.

Till then, my colleagues at Nectar Hill would call me a psycho. That is OK. At least, John Sir does not anymore complain if I go late.

(Concluded)

… Hit & Run …

2006-03-05T03:58:00.000-08:00

[A friend of mine had written a story for our company magazine's Flash Fiction Competition. I liked the crux of the story but not the narration. Here is the story, retold in my style]

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Bangalore station. The train came to a screeching halt. The driver, the guards and a few nocturnal beings in the train approached the figure. There was a small school girl lying there unconscious, with her legs badly broken. Everyone wondered if she was alive. I checked her pulse & informed others that she was indeed alive. I tore a piece of my dhoti and tied around her wounds.

I brought a taxi immediately and took her to the Causality in the Wockhardt Hospital. Thank God, doctors could save her but her legs had to be amputated. I found some emergency numbers in her bag. Called & talked to her Dad. He is one of the richest persons in the town. He came, thanked me & offered me some gift. I refused that & moved out.

Wonder if he would at least now repent for the incident when he & his friends ran over my kid, killing her on the spot when they were reportedly "enjoying a drive" after a drink. I anyways moved on. The next guy is in New Delhi.

After a few days, as I readied my turban to be torn off easily to attend to any wounds, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the New Delhi station.

... The Making of SISO ...

2006-03-05T03:52:00.000-08:00

[This is the COVER STORY I had written for my company's magazine, that I edit]

Some myths endure for no apparent reason. That Indians find it difficult to deal with Far Eastern is one such! But SISO has proved, throughout the decade of her existence, we shall say superlative existence, how wrong such myths can get.

Now, with only a decennium of life, does it make sense to recount SISO's history? Is it too soon to paint her in sepia brown? Despite this propinquity of time, there can be little doubt that the first decade of SISO has been the most eventful among her peers. A decennium accentuated by change and challenge, churning and cheering! Also, does history matter, in this age of Instant Everything? We feel it does! A moment of looking back, a moment to indulge in self introspection, a moment to enlighten the new crop!

Hence this chronicle.

It all began in May 1995 when comforting gray clouds wraps the scorching sun in its embrace & a few purposeful men, only one of them Indian, occupy rooms in Windsor Manor. Their purpose - to start Samsung's R&D Operations in India. After a month, they move to Capitol Hotel where another lady, who continues in SISO till this date, joins their endeavor. They remain the whole & soul of the company for many more days to come. They go around the city looking for office space, buy office equipment & even take care of cleaning the office. The initial days are fun. They are like a family. Parties happen every week!

They open the first office at the Prestige Meridian on 7th February 1996. SISO is born. The then NASSCOM president, STPI director, apart from around 20 top managers from Korea grace her birthday! The grand old man of SISO today (see elsewhere in this issue for his interview) has gotten married only 2 days before! But he is there in office, for this ceremony! The sumptuous opening ceremony itself sets the stage for the grand scheme of things to come!

A few brilliant guys from C-DOT & IISc join her! She starts off with an offshore project in NMS & ISDN. She also helps in sourcing talent and technology from India for Samsung’s global business. Engineers from India are made offers to work in Korea, flown to Korea first, the Samsung offices shown to them from many angles including ones from a helicopter & then asked to accept the offer! Phew! Later on, more projects start trickling in, mainly in Protocol Development, Network Management Systems & Computer Telephony! Soon after, the big break happens by means of the Mendel Project! That proves to be the first big jump SISO makes! People at HQ start noticing her. Forty people get added to the existing Twenty Five. Quantum Leap!

By end of 1997, the need for a more spacious office is felt. Soon after, Prestige Meridian II happens! How can the need for more bandwidth be left behind? The 64KBPS link is upgraded to 128KBPS WAN in 1999. Meanwhile, the Samsung Brand grows in India. So does SISO's contributions to Samsung! By 2001, she outgrows even Prestige Meridian II. She relocates to Infantry Road.

With her peers, both multinational & Indian, competing for certifications, she could not be left behind. SISO gets ISO 9001:2000 in 2002. By January 2003, she is rated a CMM Level 3. Boy, in a jiffy, in November 2003, she claims to be Level 5 too!

Every year, on her birthday, she presents her sons & daughters special gifts that carry connotations more than simple. She grows even more! And moves to one more office in Millers Road in May 2003. Meanwhile, her clout with her parents in Korea keeps increasing. CEOs and Directors visiting SISO becomes more of a rule than an exception!

Probably she is more mature now & wants a peaceful life. She moves again. Here she is, as a tall, statuesque figure, at Bagmane Tech Park, a little away for hustles & bustles of city life.

Today, beyond anything else, every one of her sons & daughters feel a sense of pride in being associated with her. That has truly been her glory!

May be, those purposeful men in that room in Windsor Manor deserve it all!

... Kappu Kudure ...

2006-02-04T22:36:00.000-08:00

The High Grounds is packed. The Indian Navy Rolling Challenge trophy is on. I have come to watch a seal brown, the Kappu Kudure at the far right. Today is her last race. Her ears are tucked back; probably she is bored.

It was packed even then, in 2002, the Chinese Year of Black Horse. The 6 year old Kappu Kudre, the favorite from the Bangalorewala Racing & Breed for many races to come was readying for her first race.

The race has started. This oval shaped right-handed course has a demanding track & places a premium on both the speed and endurance of the horses; with sharp curves & gradients. Kappu Kudure has galloped to the gradient at the 1200th metre with only 3 horses behind her. No wonder, she is not the favorite these days.

She was the first to reach there then. But as we reached the 3rd sharp curve, she slowed down and I had to use the new shock absorbing whip. Her ears immediately pressed flat against the head. She pushed me down and ran over, causing permanent damage to my knees. The shock absorbing whip was not used on her after that.

She reaches the 3rd curve. She probably remembers that incident, stumbles & falls down. She is being carried away.

When I go to enquire about her, she sees my legs & gives me an apologetic look. I see tears in her eyes. She probably understands the talks of she being sold. But what she does not understand is that I am the one who is spending his fortune to buy her. After all, I understand the pains of someone without a leg. As I pat her on the back, she understands that, pricks her ears forward and gets back to good mood.

Written for this.

[This story stood 70th :) ]

The Nectar Hill (Part 7)

2006-01-29T04:04:00.000-08:00

We dashed into the apartment. Ponnan promised to take care of the new guy who was talking to Lingaraj. I took Lingaraj to my room, gave enough punches & made him speak. Speak; he did after some effort from me. Apparently some people claiming to be from the US had met him and offered loads of money to “finish” me off! He was hesitant (as he claimed) but once they started threatening his own life, he had to agree to their plans! And the mobile phone bursting was all done with his help!

I warned him strictly not to let anyone know about all these till I tell him & let him go. No point fighting the arrow. I wanted to find the hunter first & fight him.

As I came out of the room, I found Ponnan & the new guy talking in friendly terms. Ponnan seemed a little frightened seeing me!

“You traitor, Ponnan….”

“Wait… My Lord… Please listen…”

“Stop it… Where is Ie10 now?”

The new guy showed me one corner of that room. Ie10 in Sophie’s body was lying dead.

“Hey you assholes… You think Ie10 is dead now? He will anyways come back alive & finish you guys off”

On hearing this, both of them started laughing uncontrollably. I was totally irritated and was making plans of how to escape from there and take Ie10 also with me.

“Hey Mate…” It was Ie10... No, the new guy! Oh Boy, now I realized, it is Ie10 in that guy’s body and he has junked Sophie’s body!

“Hey you guys frightened me for a minute…”

“Well, you do seem to have some concern for me, which is good. But I cannot reciprocate that because I have not learnt to emote yet!”

“Hey don’t waste time now! I want to find out all details and bring this to an end…”

“Wait Venky! First we got to make a plan… And for that you should listen to all the information I collected from Sophie & this guy I am in now”

“Yes, please tell all that fast… I am restless now”

“NASA is restless about India getting in touch with us, I mean the aliens, before they do”

“….”

“India did not agree for SET-UP… So NASA requested the CIA to ‘do something’… This is why these guys are here… They are CIA agents…”

“How did they locate me?”

“Easy, my son… Someone at the Nectar Hill Inc. should have provided them this information…”

“John Sir?”

“Probably…”

John Sir entered the house exactly at that moment!

“Hey catch him… John Sir, we have had a bad relation all along… but never did I think that you would go to the extent of killing me…”

Ponnan caught John Sir & tied him up to a chair. He was then let to speak!

“Venky… I am very sorry… I have wronged my company and also my country… But I never knew you were being targeted to be killed… ”

“What do you mean? I saw that fax you sent to your bosses at the US… That the target was missed… You should have connived with Lingaraj…”

“No Venky… Listen to me… The CIA guys approached me to collect information from you…. That was it… And I used to collect information from your computer every day… That was it… I do not even know this Lingaraj guy…”

“Why did you come here then?”

“I found your address from the office and came here…”

“But why?”

“To inform you that your life is in danger…”

“Aah… Foolish… This is what I have been hearing for the last 2 days continuously… Anyways, we have located them… One is dead in Koramangala… One is lying dead in this room… Soon the third will be dead when Ie10 will come out!”

“These are just the agents…”

“Yeah I know… I will go & inform the office, ISRO & the PMO immediately… It is for them to take the next step… We anyways have the alien with us already… The US cannot do anything now…”

“Alien with us?”

“This guy is an alien…”

“No, he is an agent…”

“The alien has got into him…”

“Oh Venky, hum khatre me hain… Abhi mene ek telecon me US walon ki baat suna… Yeh apne ko maar daalne wala hai”

“HaHaHaHa…” It was Ie10. “You guys think I cannot understand Hindi? I learnt it in 0.01 earth seconds… In fact even Marathi… You know what, Hindi does not have the strong ‘La’ sound but many people do not seem to know that…”

“Hey Ie10, no time for jokes… What is John Sir talking about?”

“Let him complete…”

John Sir continued… “I had a telecon with the CIA & NASA about the next step… After that, the phone was not disconnected properly… So I could hear a little more of what they said…”

“…”

“As I understood, they have already gotten in touch with the aliens… And they want to destroy India through the aliens…”

“What?”

“Yes, I think the SET-UP; they contacting me etc are things to fool the world…”

“What is this, Ie10?”

“Things are getting clearer….”

“What is getting clearer? I am lost! Are you with the Americans?”

“Do not suspect everyone, my son!”

“Then?”

“When I got into this guy’s body, I could understand that another alien has been in touch with him…”

“What do you say?”

“Yes… I shall tell you everything now… In brief… Because we got to go to Thailand soon…:”

“Okay… Fast….”

“There is a rival group of Andremedans who also set out in search of life elsewhere… Their agenda is to find other life and destroy it… They should have met the Americans! And fooled the Americans that they would help them achieve a uni-polar world… Foolish Americans have accepted their friendship… And should have wanted to destroy India first, who they think pose a major challenge to them in the long term…”

“…”

“My esteemed rivals would want America’s help in eliminating everyone from the world… After other countries are destroyed, they would destroy America too…”

“…”

“As John Sir said, the Set-Up thing should have been started to fool the world…”

“But... But… Why do you think they would want to kill ME?”

“That is good question… They want to because the other Andremedans know I have been fairly successful in reaching you… That is why they want John Sir to give information if you have contacted me, Lingaraj to kill you so that I am left alone...”

“Boy!”

“So there we stand…”

“Good, all our known enemies are destroyed and we shall inform the GoI to take the next step…”

“That will be late… We got to do something immediately…”

John Sir too agreed with him. “Yes, Venky… They seemed to be in a hurry to start the mission… Of destroying India…”

“But what can we do?”

“Go to Thailand and find out…”

“Why?”

“From the transcripts I could read on this guy’s brain, I find that there is something happening in Thailand… So, may be, the source & possibly the solution to our problem too, lies there…”

Ponnan added… “Yes, I got to know that there is a lot of alien movement now… And the American fleet too has been moved outside that area now… The rebels in the Aceh province of Indonesia seem to be very active… May be all these are related…”

“So what next for us?”

“Phuket Chalo…”

[To be concluded in next part]

... MBAs & Half Truths ...

2006-01-21T01:20:00.000-08:00

[Long time, no post! Wrote something for a friend, thought would post that here]

It was my first visit to Geetashram with my colleagues. Orphaned teenage kids waiting with longing eyes to collect stationeries was a moving sight.

With public exams a month away, their caretaker lamented that 70% of all people, including the bright kids, failed in English due to lack of coaching.

I got my act together & collected their syllabus immediately. For two weekends, I coached them in English Grammar. The gratitude in their eyes during those days changed me totally!

PS:
(1) 75% of the students passed that year
(2) I have made it a habit to teach orphaned kids

[My friend ka friend is applying for an MBA somewhere in the US & he had to fill in a lot of crappy questions in his admission forms - one of which was - "In 100 words, describe a character building event you were part of & where your involvement made a significant difference". I suggested my friend to write a story like the one above! He tried and said that he could not cover it all in 100 words! So I took that challenge and wrote the one above - fitting to exactly 100 words!

Something to ponder here is - Isn't this fooling someone? Fooling about other things may be OK but why about orphanage kids, sympathy et al?

All of this is not false. That friend of friend has been part of some adult literacy programs et al. So all of this is not false. Let us call them half truths. And guess that is how MBAs would work! Ain't I correct?]

... Two 1000 and Six ...

2005-12-30T05:47:00.000-08:00

As part of the email for New Year wishes, I wish to share with you some of my experiences of 2005! For happenings nationally or internationally & analysis on them, please look elsewhere! :)

If you had received my New Year wishes for 2005, you might have noticed that my resolution was to sport "French beard". I am happy to announce now that it got achieved by the end of January 2005 itself. :)

On the work front, after a long wait, I got into some position that involves some "responsibility" and "people management". It sure has been a good experience, I should say! My personal rating would be an "Average". Another thing to note is that I spent 6 months out of the country! Something, which again, I have wanted for long! The worst thing that happened was that I got a very bad appraisal rating for 2004! Let us see what 2006 brings for 2005! Let us not get into more specifics on this sensitive front! :)

On financial front, nothing pretty much to boast of. But certainly the six months spent in Korea made sure there was not much frustration! Got an introduction to books like 'Rich Dad/Poor Dad' & the Outlook Money series on different investment options! Well, I said got an introduction! Never got to implement what was read! I did buy a few stocks this year which are doing well due to the continuous Bull Run but have not been able to make intelligent decisions on this! Hope things change for better in 2006 :)

On the literary front, things certainly did not take off as expected. Nevertheless, there was some movement here! Testimony to these are my two blog sites! Two events in this could be categorized as worth nothing. One was the participation in 'Flash Fiction Competition' conducted by Caferati Writers Forum in the month of October. The other was the story '300 Dollars' whose Tamil & English versions both received rave reviews. The English version got published in Sulekha! Another major achievement here is that I have resisted the temptation to write down something every day or every week, thereby dishing out what I myself know as crap! This is not to suggest that all my posts have been great but guess they are not "crap" :)

Nothing pretty much to talk about on the Social Front, apart from odd participation with people from DreamIndia2020 team. This should be one major area to concentrate in 2006. I have plans of exploring Jaanagraha on the social work front. And also participate in activities of Mensa Bangalore. And also join one of the Toastmasters clubs. Well, am I reaching a new layer of Maslow's pyramid? ;) Pretty high ordeal, eh? Let us see how it goes. Watch this space after a year. :)

The major happening on the personal front was the engagement of my brother. And let other happenings on my personal front be just that - personal :)

Next what? Health Front? One good development is the sustenance of hair on my head, thanks to leaving Batra & getting back to Allopathy! When people used to have "bad hair days", I have had "bad hair months & years" but 2005 has been good! Otherwise, it is pretty much forgettable, with "mouth ulcers" & "irritable bowels" troubling me all through the year, with the latter being the major tormentor! Actually people would be "shit scared" but I have been generally "scared of shit". And when I visit doctors for these, they call me an "utterly stressed out psycho". Got to start Yoga in 2006? Not decided yet. :)

And then comes education! I completed all the papers of PGDBA in December. Result are yet to be out but guess will clear all. So I do have one more educational qualification after the B.E. Okay, what use of it now? Actually, nothing. :)

One major change that happened in 2005 is in my reading habits! I used to spend a lot of time reading newspapers while in secondary school & in college. Later it became general interest magazines like Outlook. And then, business magazines like BusinessWorld. Now 90% of my reading happens through my RSS Reader. This way, the reading of news, columns, blogs (Tamil & English) - everything gets balanced. New additions to my reading items are topics on personality development and any general management related topic. Blogs actually wasted a lot of my time initially - with me hopping from one link to another - but now I am pretty much disciplined!

Phew! That is already long.

Let me now add some trivia to it!

Most Liked Movie: Of course, Chandramukhi. :)
Least Liked Movie: Sivakasi
Most Heard Songs: Manmadhan, Anniyan, Ah Aah, Gajini
Least Heard Songs: Chandramukhi
Most Liked Food: Puli Kuzhambu, prepared by your's truly!
Least Liked Food: Travel by Thai Air to experience this
Most Liked TV Ad: "Surprisingly SBI" Series
Least Liked TV Ad: All Amitabh Bachan Ads
Luckiest Spot: HT Residency/Amara Canopy, again
Unluckiest Spot: None
Most Visited Website: Blogger
Least Visited Website: ICICIDirect.COM
Most Liked Messenger: Google Talk
Least Liked Messenger: Yahoo! Talk
Most Liked Book: Da Vinci Code (English)
Least Liked Book: Arthamulla Indhu Madham [Hinduism - Meaningful Religion] (Tamil)

Now, for my New Year resolution:

Be able to wear trousers of size 34 inches without much trouble. Now, that is a tough one, ain't it? :)

Wish You a Fabulous 2006! Have Fun!

... Loser - A Parody ...

2005-12-16T03:55:00.000-08:00

It’s been a week now since she exited my life through the narrowest outlets present. I won’t go into the details of the event, if you may call it that. No! Standing nervously beside this chair, I don’t have much time to render the entire tale. This past week, from Monday through Friday, I have cried and thought about suicide and now I am standing beside this high chair, with a noose in hand and a prayer on my lips that the fan holds steady and bears the weight.

To put it in a nutshell, I won’t blame only her for what happened. No sir! That would not be fair, but knowing that both are to be blamed for ending a long standing beautiful relationship, one would end up putting an end to life, isn't it?

“Damn this rope, I wonder how they tie the noose so easily in the movies. Maybe they have readymade nooses available in the shops.”

I have tried rationalising the situation many a time and have found ample reasons against such a literally life-threatening decision (I don’t call it life-ending as I still don’t believe this old fan would hold steady) But the truth is that I have found enough to counter those reasons too. My life has a big vacancy now. I will have so much more time and I don’t know what to do with it. I’m not a person with ample ambitions, neither am I one with many friends. As a 26 year old with the entire life looking to have been shattered ahead of him, I simply do not know what to do. Nor does she. Defeatist attitude you call it? Loser you call me? Well, good then. I’ll behave aptly.

“Ah! Finally, this knot should hold good. And now to garland this rope of death around the neck. Hmm! Not bad at all. This is turning out to be easier than I thought.”

I have stopped talking to her; that would only draw me into the deadly swirl of the pleasant memories of the past and I would be consumed in an instant. I know that. I tried talking to her last week and that’s what happened. It takes five minutes of conversation with an ex-lover to undo all the ostensibly nice things you have done to your self, like encouraging it to slowly forget the past and say the nicest of things like ‘Life goes on’ and you know…things like what you find in the ‘Chicken soup for the failed lover’ books.

“Now I’m all set; the rope strongly around the fan and around the neck as well. Three mighty tugs now. Strong inward breath; One, Two, and Three! That does it. Testing over and now for the final plunge.”

I do not, fortunately have much time left, her parents will be here any time now. I strongly believe that what I am doing is not an unwanted task. Its better the world rids itself of a such a person. I am a loser. Surprised? When did I ever refute that tag? I totally agree and as I said, act in accordance.

“Ok! Here I go. Rope strong enough, I hope. Everything is in place. Legs on tip of the tall back rest of the chair. I only have to kick the chair for my love to test the veracity of heaven and hell. And rebirth and karma as well. Ok! I’ll stop sounding like a Hindu priest and kick the way to death. Here goes…”

Afterword

There was pain; the strangulation around the throat was unbearable to her. Her legs flayed in the air in a scissoring action when the door burst open and in came her father, a strong father. In an instant she was on the floor and gasping for breath drinking greedily the water her tearful mom gave her. I glanced around the room mindless of the abuses her mom was throwing at me. The window! How thoughtless of me to leave the window open. The fan stood steady, bore the weight, but the window let me down. If not, they would have thought she was still sleeping. Through the steady barrage of words that were spouting out of her parents’ mouths, I was able to think and realised one thing. I was indeed a loser! And sitting in a jail now.

This is a parody of this.

... Ogles & Giggles ...

2005-12-12T08:39:00.000-08:00

Two weeks back.

St. Joseph's College, Langford Town, Bangalore.

4.30 pm.

I had completed my "Cases in Marketing Management" paper in a jiffy. One more hour was left. My moronic (sic) friend was still writing his crap. He would be out only after an hour.

The customary cigarette can be had only after he is out. I was out in the lawns of the college wondering what to do. People of the next batch were slowly trickling in. Experience said that there would not be a single good looking chic to write a distance education exam!

As I was walking aimlessly from the Banyan tree towards the play ground, I heard some giggle - sweet ones, if I may add. It was coming from the first floor. So I got some aim. My legs automatically moved towards the stairs. But as I neared the stairs, the giggles were getting louder and seemed to move towards me. I walked back towards the Banyan tree.

The owner of the giggle came down. No wonder the giggle was sweet. Sweet girls always have sweet giggles. She was surrounded by a few thugs. Sweet girls always roam with thugs. Or, to put it perspective, guys with sweet girls always looks like thugs.

They all walked to the corridor near to the Old Library Hall and sat down there. It was a perfect view for me to watch her from the Banyan tree. I was at a distance where their talks were not audible but her giggle was.

She was wearing blue denim pants and a rose colored - I do not know what, let me say - some kind of clothing to cover (or reveal enough) of the upper portion of the body! She should be a student of the St. Joseph College. Should be all of 18 or 19 years! Had one of the most perfect structures I have seen. She had the power of attracting any male homo sapiens - not just practicing oglers like me- but even the not-so ogle inclined ones. Guess I need not bother to mention the reactions that happened in me.

Luckily I had a book with me. I sat under the Banyan tree and had my book open. It provided the perfect setting to watch her.

She would smile, burst into laughter suddenly, kick one of the thugs in his thighs, arms (I would like to kick on his dick & send him away, though). Every action of hers had a charm in it. It was getting increasingly difficult to remove my eyes away from her. She would bend (the gap between the tops & pants widening), stretch (the let-go-free boobs would protrude dangerously psyching one out), jump (both of the above). Every action of hers was seducing enough!

Believe me, I was not hallucinating. She started noticing me. She would turn every few seconds towards me and immediately turn her face away if she found me watching her. We continued this game for a while. I would pose as if I was reading the book. She would then watch me and the moment I looked up, she would turn away! Damn the thugs, it would have been my day!!

After a while, I noticed that she was getting restive. It was kind of confirmed that it was because of me. I wondered if I should move from that place. But her charm made me stay there. Next, she told something to the thugs - her fingers pointed towards me. Their laughter & shouting subsided. Everyone got up. And needless to say, walked towards me.

Adrenalin flowed. It was to be a fight or flight. Normally, I would have chosen the latter. But the fact that they were just college kids made me decide to fight. What the hell, I have come here for my exams. Who are they to question me!! Dekha jaayega!!

As they came near to me, I posed as if I was deeply immersed in the book.

"Excuse me, Sir". It was she.

"Yes..."

All the thugs were obediently standing behind. There seemed to be no animosity and only respect in their demeanor.

"Sir... We are so sorry to disturb you... I was telling my friends not to shout... But these guys were not listening..."

I did not know how to react. The thugs gave a sheepish grin. I followed suit.

"Well, no problem... That was not disturbing me anyways..."

"That is nice of you, Sir".

"You can actually call me Carnivas" [Oh! My Girl, I would do anything for you!!]

"Oh No, Sir... We have small request..."

"Yes..."

"From your jacket, we understand you work for Three Star Electronics... We want to know if you have any BPO operations that we could apply for..."

"Well, our company does not have any... but I have a friend who works for ICICI One Source... Send me your resume... I shall try through him for an interview..."

And handed my business card to her.

"Thanks a lot, Sir. That is so kind of you..."

"You are welcome..."

And they moved across. I was so happy that I could talk to her and was already making rapid plans of how all I can engage her once I get her email!!

But then, after a few steps she walked back and said...

"Sir, you are so inspiring to us... We are not able to concentrate on our studies even now... but you are doing an MBA at this age even after having married and gotten kids..."

I felt as if someone had given a tight slap on my face!! After all, I am 27 years old. And my receding hairline & increasing waistline suggests even more! No wonder she thought I was married & even had kids! There was at least one generation of gap between us. And I felt quite embarrassed to have ogled at her for long.

I could only manage an embarrassed smile. She waved Bye-Bye and left.

I too left immediately. Damn the moron who was still writing the exam.

As I crossed the Hockey Stadium, I found an obese software engineer working for Truth Software Services in her late twenties. She was in an auto stand and was ogling at an 18-20 year old guy in a stylish bike. I muttered to her in my native tongue not to ogle at 20 year olds & how dangerous it is!! God knows what she understood. She smiled. And asked me if I could offer lift to her up to Koramangala as no autowalah was ready to go. I agreed and again muttered in my native tongue - Not just on the way, I shall offer you lift in life too. Again, God knows what she understood. As she got in my car, she giggled.

And it was sweet too.

... Blogs, A Primer ...

2005-11-12T01:23:00.000-08:00

[ A cousin of mine is setting up a company that intends to help Online Marketing Professionals. He wanted me write something about BLOGS (Not in the context of marketing).

This post is what I had written for him. After this, he would add a II part with content specifically for a marketing professional.

If you find any mistakes in this/any other information that SHOULD be added, do let me know. Thank you.

It is quite uncharacteristic of me to make such a post. But since I have decided to post anything that I write beyond 2 pages (apart from stuff confidential to ThreeStar), you read this. :-p]

* Blog Basics

A BLOG or a WebLog is an online publishing mechanism that has gained into prominence in the last couple of years! It can be thought of as an online journal, where the contributor (or sometimes multiple contributors) posts articles periodically. Many people use blogs as an online diary where they post about their experiences in daily life. But there are people who use the blogs as a way to let their views & creations available to others through the Net.

There are blogs related to virtually anything one can think of! Blogs played in important role in organizing the help for the recent South Asian natural disasters like Tsunami, Kashmir Earthquake etc! You can use Technorati or Google Blog Search to search for blogs on topics of your interest.

* How to blog

$ Blog Sites

Blogging is quite simple. There are various sites that provide free blogging service. One needs to just register with them for free & follow some simple steps to customize his blog. He need not know anything about web. Everything is tailor made for him. He can start "posting" in a matter of minutes. Some famous blogging sites are - Blogger, Typepad and Squarespace. These are by no means the only good ones! Go ahead & explore different blogs and then decide the one that suits you best!

$ Setting up a CMS

The catch with all these free services is that one does not get a domain on his own! His blog might look, for example like - name.blogspot.com if he has registered with Blogger. If he wants to create a blogging service in his own domain, he needs to set up a CMS - Content Management Server in his website. Some of the more famous content management providers are these - BlogCMS & NucleusCMS. Again, these are by no means the only good ones. You can find a list of CMS here

$ Blogging Applications

In case of free blogging sites, one needs to login to the blog server using a web browser and then post. But there is an alternative. He can use one of the blogging software that he can setup on his PC. This can be thought of as using email software like MS Outlook to send emails.

As one would create new emails and just press Send button on the email software, he can create new blog entries & then just click a button to post entries to his blog site. Of course, he needs to configure his site address & account details one time. Some famous blogging software are these - BlogJet, Movable Type, WordPress, TypePad, Blogware and Radio.

Not all of these are free, though.

* RSS Feeds

RSS means Really Simple Syndication. This is not something unique to blogging. Many websites offer this service. If you have registered with such a service, whenever a webpage gets updated, the contents are sent to you - just like emails are sent to your MS Outlook whenever you get a new email. You need a software like SharpReader (like MS Outlook for emails) to receive the updates & view them. Read this for more information about RSS readers.

Most free blogging websites provide automatic RSS feeds. For example, if one has a blog site at Blogger as someone.blogspot.com, then the RSS feed URL for his site would be someone.blogspot.com/atom.xml

In case of content management servers, one needs to set up this feature too if he wishes to provide RSS feeds to his readers.

* Some more Information

$ Not Just Text

Blogs need not contain only text. They can include photos, audio, video & any other kind of content one can find in web pages. There are special applications available that help in uploading photos, audio etc. Adding audio content that can be downloaded to Apple iPOD is called Podcasting.

$ Not Just English

Blogs need not be in English alone. Most blog sites support blogging in any language that has Unicode support.

Read more ADSENSE, CHITIKA Mini Malls, one can even make money though his blog! Check out these links for more information.

$ Phone Feeds

Recently a new concept called PhoneFeeds has come up. This is similar to the RSS feed but you get the updates on your mobile phone. The original feed is converted to WAP accessible content & presented to you. Read more here.

For much more information, do check out the WIKIPEDIA link on Blogs

... Lily, at my place ...

2005-10-29T05:05:00.000-07:00

I was so thrilled when I got this chance to visit Lily's place! In a way, Lily would be in my place too! Among millions of contestants, I was one among the four lucky ones to get this chance. What more, it was told Lily would herself guide us through the whole place.

Lily, if you are not aware, is the most famous actress in the world today. Year after year, she has been voted the most beautiful woman on earth, living or dead. She owns the largest and the most beautiful house in the whole world. She has been married seven times so far. Now she is single.

When XYZ telecommunications had announced this lucky dip offer, there was a mad frenzy to buy their products. Though I was not too keen on winning this, I did make a few silent prayers to get this chance.

I wore my best double breasted suit for the occasion. There was heavy security to enter her place. My identity was verified every few steps! Though it was a little annoying I decided not to get bothered with these and spoil my mood when I would be face to face with the most beautiful person on earth.

The other three people also joined soon. We were introduced to each other. It made me a little insecure that all three were younger than me. But what the hell, Lily is not young either. She might find me the most mature of that lot. As I was saying hello to that kiddo from India, he gave me a wry smile as though he understood my thought.

Her personal assistant appeared first. She started off with a speech on how Lily felt proud about being associated with XYZ telecommunications, how good their products are and what a big difference they made to her life. It was all crap.

The assistant first showed us the room where all Lily’s awards were in display! Then she showed us the garden, the kitchen, the drawing room, servant's room and what not, but Lily wouldn't appear! In every room, she would talk about the products of XYZ telecommunications in that room and how helpful it was, for her to maintain the house. It was all boring. May be it would have made more sense had Lily herself done all these, as promised before!

At last, she took us to Lily's personal bedroom and Lily made her appearance. She was, I should say, in her charming best. The dark blue dirndl she was wearing was a perfect fit to her perfect cuts & curves. The assistant introduced all of us to her.

As Lily started saying, "Hello Kay... It is a pleasure to...", my Internet connection conked out and my monitor was all blank. Thus, the promotion of XYZ Communications about their new ultra speed Internet Connection - that would make real time video streaming from multiple locations so effective - became such a massive flop.

[Written for this] [RESULTS here: XIII place among XV participants]

Final Results for the month of October is here. [V place]

... Blue Suede Shoes ...

2005-10-22T05:06:00.000-07:00

When I visited my granny last year for vacation, little did I realize that she would come to visit me this year! When I got up one day, there was a lot of commotion around. Granny's servants, who were supposed to be working on the fields, were running across like mad. I was told that some UFO had visited our fields the previous night! Setting aside the fears of the village, I set out to see the crop circles & if lucky, the aliens too.

And I was lucky. As I was walking across the circles looking for the aliens, I stumbled upon a pair of blue suede shoes. I wondered who would have left a new pair like that, on the fields. As I picked it upon, something, er, someone came running towards me. Behind him, there was an UFO (rather IFO). As he neared me, he shouted "U-SA-MAN-UA... U-SA-MAN-UA" and threw some papers at me. Within a moment, he was inside their vehicle and it flew off!

When I went home back, everyone was afraid to come near. I placed the shoes on the rack and started looking at the papers he threw at me. I could not understand anything written on it. All I could understand was that different papers had content written in different languages. Since I was almost quarantined, I could not even get out of the house to try for translation.

There was some magic with those shoes. Every time I touched it, strange things happened. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. My cup-board got filled with lots of gold once. But once, my granny got badly beaten up by some unknown hand.

I was getting bored in the room after a few days. My granny agreed to let me out on one condition - I should throw the shoes! Without any other go, I agreed to that. I threw the shoes in the garbage outside the village. While going home, as I walked through the fields again, I found that there was one piece of paper that I had missed to collect.

As you have already guessed, it was in English. It was the USER MANUAL for the shoes, which is what the alien friend had tried to tell me. I found that it was indeed a magic shoe and whoever owns it would become the richest man in the world. I ran back to the garbage dump. Before I could reach there, a van from the local hospital for the mentally challenged was waiting for me. I realized that it was a ploy by my granny to let me out!

It is almost a year since I came here. No one listens to me. I know the user manual inside-out now! If you fine the BLUE SUEDE SHOES somewhere, please come to me. I shall share the user manual and we shall together become rich. Meanwhile, if you want your granny beaten up, tap its front portion three times.

[Written for this] [RESULTS here : VIII Place among 15 participants]

... Bombyx Mori ...

2005-10-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

"Hey Johnnie, would you do it?" asked Freddie.

I did not answer him. I was busy eating. Freddie has not been eating for many days now. He is that revolutionary kind. I do not mind all that. But what I do mind is he wanting me to join him & start a strike against our employers.

"Listen to me one last time, Johnnie..."

I do not generally speak while eating. I signalled him to continue.

"Let me start with some history! The silk production was first started by the Chinese, around 2700 BC... That was their main trade of that era... I am sure you have heard of the silk route, no?"

I gave him a look wondering how it all matters to me! He would now start off with how the employers make a lot of money out of silk while the employees barely get something to eat! He continued, anyways.

"It then spread to India, Japan and slowly to every part of the world. Silk became the norm of the upper classes. More silk in your dress, more respect you got!"

So what? It is just not in his hands to shutdown this factory & mill. Even if all of us go on strike, we would be replaced by another bunch!

"Initially, these guys were not torturing us. They would just extract work out of us & leave us alone..."

But what has gone wrong now? I just had my stomach full. I opened my mouth for the first time to make it a proper dialogue now!

"Who is torturing you or me now?"

"Not now. But you know what happened to Jimmie & his gang, I suppose... "

"Not really... All I know is that he is dead... And he died by falling into the boiling water..."

"He did not die... He was killed... Not just he... Thousands of others are killed... Only the adult among us who can produce enough silk are let to live... Many others are killed or stifled as soon as they complete the pupae... "

I was shocked.

"Not just that... The weaker ones are killed by immersion in boiling water, steaming, by laying in the sun on a hot day, electrocution or subjection to microwaves..."

I could not bear all this. Just the thought of it would have sent a shiver down my spine, if I had one. Nevertheless, there was fear.

"Now tell me Johnnie, would you still do it?"

"Certainly not, Freddie. Now, I shall join you & convince the rest of the gang too..."

The mulberry leaves that I was eating looked like poison now!

We were successful in our attempt. None of us produced the silk threads used by men. We might all die. But then our successors would live. And live peacefully.

After a few days, someone was saying.

"Sir, this looks to be a new species. This looks exactly like Bombyx Mori, but just does not produce Silk. The miracle called evolution!!"

[Written for this] [RESULTS here : II Place among 15 participants]

... Fornicatress, with a Sage ...

2005-10-08T02:18:00.000-07:00

Enough was enough. I could not stand that anymore. That my wife was a fornicatress. She was mine. And should be only mine. It started off as a rumor, in the neighborhood. That my wife slept with another man. I dismissed it first. Later, even my closest pals were telling me that. That they saw someone getting into my house, everyday, after I left for work.

I did not go to work one day. I hid on the shrubs opposite my house. Exactly 20 minutes after I was supposed to have gone, he entered my house. I gave them 5 minutes. Let them first undress. I knocked the door hard. No response for long. There should be dressing now, I thought.

Finally, my wife came out. I pushed her away & entered the house to hit him. I could not. For, there was an old man sitting there, with his eyes closed. Should, at least, be an octogenarian. My wife rushed in. She signaled me to maintain silence. He got up after sometime & left the house without speaking a word. I rushed out, to find out who he was. But all I saw was a young man starting his car. I was puzzled.

My wife told that he was a sage. That he could cure my schizophrenia. Apparently, she had met him in a sermon. He heard of my problem from her and promised to cure it within a month with the prowess of his meditation. He was not an ordinary mortal. He could travel back & forth in time.

I felt guilty. After a week, I went to his place. This time, he was in his mid-forties. He smiled at me and said - 'Welcome Back'.

Back? May be I went there sometime in the future too, I thought.

I pleaded for pardon. Suddenly it struck me. What if I could travel back in time? And not suspect my wife, this time? I would get a chance to get rid of my guilt. I asked his help. He smiled again. He said he would help. I could not come back to the present time, if I go. I would forget everything that happened from then, till now. Exactly what I wanted. May be this time, I would not suspect her. Leave it to the God. I wanted to live without any guilt. So I agreed. I wanted to go to that morning when I decided not to go to the office.

I got into his time machine. My body was shaking heavily. As I started to move out of the present time, I found someone coming out of his bedroom. That was my wife. She looked very tired. And old.

[Written for this] [RESULTS here : IX among 22 participants]

... 63 Building Erection ...

2005-09-23T23:48:00.000-07:00

63 Building was one of the few must-see spots of Seoul that I had not visited. And there was a chance to visit it a couple of weekends back.

The 63 building, if you still have a doubt, has 63 floors and is the tallest building in Seoul. It is located so close to the bank of the Han River, that divides the Seoul City. They say it also divides two different strata of the Korean society. Since I reached the spot quite early, thought I would spend sometime at the Han River bank before going into the building itself. There was an excellent view of the Seoul Tower from the river bed.

Koreans have this specialty of both working & partying hard. There was a large crowd on the river bank to cool themselves after a hot afternoon. It reminded me of the crowd in the Pondicherry sea shore during summer. Families had spread mats across the river bed and were sipping Sojus and Beers. Young couples in intimate positions seemed to be present everywhere. Or that is what my lonely and frustrated brain wanted to look for! There were kids flying kites. The atmosphere was simply excellent. Shot a lot of photos across the river bed.

Once it started getting dark, I picked up a coffee and started walking towards the 63 building. That is when I saw a big group of people dancing to some catchy Korean music. I stopped there to take a couple of snaps. All of them were youngsters in the age group of 20-25 and looked to be college kids. They looked to be in some kind of a uniform also. They were all wearing black colored trousers and yellow colored shirts. I noticed that there was a clear separation between the boys and girls of that group. It reminded me of the rules laid in some colleges in Tamil Nadu that boys & girls should sit separately in the classes and some even imposed fine if a boy & girl were found talking to each other! Such rules exist in Korea too, I wondered. Even though it is getting rapidly westernized, some Asiatic thought still seems to remain!

As I was tapping my legs for that music, someone tapped my shoulder. It was a Korean male who was shooting the dance with a video camera. Should be one from that group. He too was in the same kind of dress.

"Hello... You wanna join?"

"Ah.. Er... No... I do not know to dance..."

"Oh... Don’t worry about that... Just join us..."

"Well... Sorry.. No, I should go to the 63 Building... Heard they do not allow entry after 7..."

"Oh... Is that so... "

"Yeah... Excuse me..."

"Well, in that case, I can join you to the 63..."

"No Thanks... I appreciate... I would manage..."

"Come on, friend... I will join... By the way, my name is Lee,WonQ"

"Well, I am Karthik..."

"Okay Kasheek, come let us go..."

And he started walking along with me. Initially, I got irritated by this unwanted company. Later on, I found him to be a good company. He spoke very good English for a Korean. He knew exactly what to look for in the 63 Building, where to get tickets etc. He helped me with a few good photographs too. The aquarium was closed for renovation and so we went to only the Observation Deck at the 61st floor. The lift was very fast. It covers 60 floors in flat 2 minutes! The lift at my apartment in Bangalore takes 2 minutes to close its doors!

The observation deck was excellent. It gave a good view of the complete Seoul city. Cars looked like tiny toys in the 30X zoom binocular! It was fun to look around. And for your information, it was written that BOMBAY was 5574 Kms from that spot. I took a couple of photographs with WonQ also. That would help in boasting to others how much I am used to 'cosmo culture' and how I can easily mix with people of different cultures. WonQ insisted on me putting my hands around his shoulders. He too has to boast to his friends about how close was to a foreigner. After having wheat rolls and orange juice at the cafeteria (WonQ, of course had something made of beef), we started our way back.

There was one old man in the lift when we entered. But as we entered, he frowned and went outside. I felt so insulted. WonQ calmed me down and said this was common in Korea. I got agitated and asked him what was common!. He said the person who went outside was his Dad and they had not been in talking terms for long! He said the problem between the older and newer generation of people was so common in Korea. The older generation (who had worked hard to develop the country to the standard of western countries) does not approve of the rapid westernization of the newer one, he said. He said his Dad does not approve of his activities and created a big scene when he had taken his first date to their house. So he has moved out of the house. I wondered if such a thing would happen in India also soon as one of the effects of globalization! Or has it already?

It was already 9 pm. I thought I would take a leave from WonQ. But he said he would also go to Suwon and we could go together in the Metro. As we passed the river bed, the dance party was about to end. Upon WonQ's insistence, I too joined the dance for the last couple of minutes.

Then we walked towards the Metro station to take the next train to Suwon. As we walked, WonQ said

"Hey you wanna see my first date?"

"Yeah Sure..."

"Do you see the one going there.... The long one with that yellow shirt tucked in..." and pointed to someone at some distance.

It was already very late and I could not see much of the face. By the way what is there to see in the face! It is all flat noses and dug-in eyes!

"Did you see?" he asked again.

"Ah yes..." I said and looked again. Korean females generally are not blessed with big mammas and this particular one was as flat as a carom board! In fact, a few of my friends (male) would have them much bigger!

"Is the relation still on?"

"No... It did not work out..."

"Oh.. Okay... May I ask why?"

"Ha Ha.. Why not.. You know what? Across the world, the males want it bigger..." and winked at me!

"I understand..."

"You naughty boy.."

The train was heavily crowded. Weekends are generally very crowded. But that day was a little too much. There was no space left for even standing comfortably. It was like a Pallavan bus travel in Chennai. Yes, you guessed it right. There was enough scope for misbehaving with females. And to my luck, there was a beautiful Russian lady ahead of me. The heavy crowd made sure that I had to lean on her all through the travel. She did seem to mind. But I was getting horny. The complete front portion of my body was leaning on her back. My head was positioned just above her shoulders to give me a perfect view of what was there below her neck. She was anyways barely dressed and did not seem to care about anything. And I was enjoying it.

Poor guy, WonQ was had to be content with a Korean female behind him. He was getting pushed by her from behind and he was falling on me. And in turn I was falling on the Russian female.

"You seem to be enjoying it..." WonQ whispered in my ears.

"Well, yes..." I grinned.

"Me too.." he said.

Finally, we got down at the Suwon station. We rushed to the taxi stand.

"Okay... WonQ... I will take leave now... I do not have my card with me... Gimme your card... I shall call you sometime...."

"Where are you going?" he frowned.

"To the guest house..." I said.

"And me?" he looked agitated.

"How do I know?" I said with a puzzled look.

"Why did you bring me to Suwon?"

"What? I brought you to Suwon?"

"Don't play with me, Kasheek..." his eyes were red.

"What are you talking? I do not understand..." I too got angry.

"Then why did you join the dance?"

"You called me... So I did... And how is it related to you coming to Suwon?"

"Let me ask you straight... Aren't you gay?"

"WHAT.........?"

"Aren't you gay?"

"NO... "

"Shiba... Shiba.... Fuck you man.... Why dint you protest in the train when I was falling on you? You told you were enjoying it..." (Shiba in Korean is FUCK)

"Hey come on..." Every incident from that evening started flashing into my mind. So was that a gay & lesbian group?

"And what about this dress? Now come with me..."

That is when I noticed that I too was wearing black trousers and an yellow tee.

The next moment I got into a taxi and told him to speed off. I could see WonQ shouting at the top of his voice when I looked behind. It took a couple of minutes for my heart beat to get normal and stop sweating.

And as I was giving the route map of the guest house to the cab driver, he turned back and grinned at me. He too was wearing black trousers and an yellow shirt.

Disclaimer: This is a piece of fiction and wearing black trousers and yellow shirt should not mean anything special as far as I know. :-)

... Manhood ...

2005-09-10T02:06:00.000-07:00

Annual day function at a local school. He had come as the chief guest. He was an alumnus of that school. He talked about the innocence of one's childhood that gets lost as he gets old.

He recalled his school days – soon forgotten little quarrels with friends, last minute assignments, cricket matches at short notice, road side snacks & friends who did not care about money!

He compared it with his current life – never ending pinpricks with business partners, unethical practices in businesses, no time for play, health problems & acquaintances who want nothing but money!

Everyone loved his speech. They were thrilled to hear the greatest entrepreneur of their city talk about his childhood experiences. Another side of his personality was revealed.

He completed his speech with ‘God, give my childhood back’. That drew a big round of applause.

As he was heading home, I asked him

‘I can turn you back into a child. Shall I’?

‘Who are you’?

‘They call me God’.

He started sweating. He thought for a moment and said – ‘Don’t take my talk seriously. I do not want to go through everything again. I am happy what I am’.

I smiled and disappeared.

[This was written for this. Total words including title is exactly 200 words] :-) [All entries here]. [RESULTS here : My position is somewhere at the bottom]

... Aabha ...

2005-09-03T04:35:00.000-07:00

[This story got published here]

Sunday. 9 am.
#411 Srinivasa Apartments, Murugeshpalaya, Bangalore.

The burly policeman was questioning a 50-year old North Indian uncle.

"What is the name of your daughter?"

"Aabha. Aabha Gupta"

His eyes were red. He should have been weeping for long.

"What was she doing?"

"She works as a medical transcriptionist..." he said in present-tense. It did not strike him that she was no more.

"When did this happen?"

"Yesterday Night, Sir. I was not at home. I had been to Chennai for some business visit... "

"Who else is at home?"

"Only me & 2 of my daughters, Sir" he said pointing to his other daughter whose legs were paralyzed. The policeman gave a sympathetic look to her.

"When did you come to Bangalore?"

"Only 2 months back, Sir".

"Okay... Now we want to search your house..."

Sunday. 9 pm.
#308 Amara Canopy Apartments, BTM Layout, Bangalore.

Neeraj was sitting in his bean bag and enjoying his usual F.R.I.E.N.D.S sitcom when he heard the door bell ring.

"Kholke aa jaa be.. Chaabi hai na" was his response thinking it was his room mate.

But the bell continued to ring.

Hesitantly he got up and opened the door.

"Are you Mr. Neeraj?" asked a tough looking police man. Should be an inspector or something like that. Constables in Bangalore do not speak English.

"Yes, I am Neeraj...."

"We have come to arrest you.."

"Wha.. Wha... What? Arrest? Why?..."

"We suspect you on a murder charge.... It would be good to both of us if you would just walk down with us without making a scene here..."

"But Sir... Why.. What murder... I did not commit any..."

"That will be decided later. We anyway suspect you now for the murder of one Ms. Aabha Gupta..."

"Do you have an arrest warrant with you?"

"Mr. Neeraj, let me tell you something... This is not a Hindi movie... And I am not a comedian in the role of a police... Would you walk with me now?"

"Yes... But.. No... I did not commit any murder..."

He was eventually taken away by the police. The other residents of the apartments had varied opinion on this incident.

"You never get to know who is a criminal... I used to think of this guy as a decent guy from a good family... Now he turns out to be a terrorist..." opined an obese aunty. To her, every criminal is a terrorist.

"Well, may be not... These days the police have gone brutal... Poor guy... These days software guys have become the target of the police... They extract a lot of money and then leave them alone..." said an old man who spends 22 hours a day either reading newspapers or watching news channels.

"Good Heavens... He has been caught... I am not able to imagine what would have happened here otherwise..." said the apartment secretary, who thinks he is comparable to the cabinet secretaries.

No one noticed Vimal coming close to the apartment, seeing the police taking away Neeraj and going away from there. Vimal is Neeraj's room mate.

Madiwala Police Station.

Neeraj had been to this area quite often, for booze at the Andhra Style restaurant opposite or to meet his friend at the adjoining software company. But this was his first visit to the police station.

He was not questioned or tortured in the cell. He thought they would start it late in the night. He had to share the room with a petty thief who looked ugly. That irked him. He had never been in company of people from the lower strata of society. He thought he should have never been in touch with Aabha. How the world had changed in a week, he thought. Chat, Email, Love, Altercation, Threat, Spy, Sympathy and now murder charges. Holy Crap.

Vimal came to the police station with a lawyer. Vimal is resourceful, Neeraj thought. He has managed to get a lawyer too in this short time. The lawyer seemed quite influential too. He was let to talk to Neeraj.

"Do you know this girl Aabha? Your friend said you were in touch with her for the past one week."

"Yes Sir. What he said is correct."

(In a hushed tone) "Well, did you kill her?"

"No Sir. No." he started weeping.

"Relax... Relax... Listen, now you should not hide anything from me... The more you hide, the more dangerous it is... Tell me, whatever happened during the past one week..."

"Yes Sir... It all started last Sunday... While I was checking emails at home, one person called Aabha suddenly ping-ed me in Yahoo! messenger. Wondering who it is, I too started chatting with her..."

"Hmm., go ahead.."

"She said she got to know about me through some old colleague of mine... She had heard how a pleasant character I was... And she was interested in talking to me and being friends with me..."

"..."

"When asked who that old colleague was, she was not ready to reveal... She said that was a suspense that would be told later... "

"Then?"

"I too played along... We chatted for hours together everyday for the next 3-4 days..."

"Exactly till when?"

"Ah... Till Thursday, I think... No, Wednesday... Yes, it was till Wednesday..."

"Okay.. Continue..."

"As we chatted, I found her to be very attractive too... We seemed to have the same tastes in almost everything... And I wanted to meet her..."

"At this point itself I told him Sir, that this was not good..." intercepted Vimal.

"Wait, Vimal, let him continue... You go on"

"Well, I wanted to meet her... She asked me if I was in love with her... I did not want to commit anything without knowing anything about her... She said she was madly in love with me... That made me happy... But I insisted on meeting her first..."

"Hmm., Interesting plot..."

"She was very hesitant to meet.... And started talking less and less to me... That made me suspicious... But I got kind of addicted to talking to her... Every minute or so, I would check if she was online... "

"When was this?"

"Hmm... Ek minute.... Yeah, on Wednesday she proposed to me... And on Thursday she did this hide & seek...."

"Okay... Then?"

"Suddenly on Thursday evening, she started hurling abuses at me... She called me names.... I wondered what... If she loved me and wanted to live with me, the minimum is that we should meet... But she behaved in a strange way..."

"Then Neeraj got terribly angry..."

"Vimal, choose your words... You seem to be bent on framing him... Your friend is in danger and you are saying he was terribly angry... This would close the case... that he killed her... You please wait, let him finish..."

Vimal responded with a wry smile.

"I really got angry Sir... She comes on chat, starts talking sweet words, calls me honey, darling etc and then one fine moment starts abusing me... I felt so stupid about myself then... So out of frustration, I too started abusing her..."

The session with the lawyer went on for about an hour. Speaking with the lawyer gave some confidence to Neeraj. He felt the lawyer would somehow let him out of this. Vimal seemed nervous at the end of it. Poor guy, thought Neeraj. His sleep also has been affected because of him. He tried to sleep on the stinking floor of the cell. But could not. He kept on thinking how on earth did the police trace him. He wondered if he should have told the everything to the lawyer.

Neeraj's parents flew down from Bihar. Vimal helped them with everything in the new city. He made sure he was always present when they met the lawyer - the reason being - since the lawyer could not speak good Hindi & the parents could not speak good English.

The case was speedily being conducted in the court. The police had already tracked the chat archive from Aabha's PC. While abusing her, Neeraj had threatened to kill her. This proved a big point against him. Though the skilful lawyer tried to make light of the threat as one out of frustration, the final blow to him came when the watchman of Srinivasa Apartments told the court that Neeraj had visited Aabha's house on that fateful day. The lawyer was fuming that evening.

"I told you to tell me everything as it is..."

"Sorry Sir... I thought if I said that you too would suspect me..."

"I would not have... But now I do suspect you.."

"No Sir, please believe me... I did not... Let me now tell you all that happened..."

"Tell me everything at least now..."

"While we were abusing each other and I threatened to kill her, she mocked at me saying how I would kill her if I could not even find her..."

"Yeah everyone knows that... Everyone from the regular BangaloreTimes reader to the judge in the court have read your chat archive...."

"..."

"Now continue..."

"This made me determined to find out where she lived..."

"Okay..."

"While chatting with her, I got to know that she was looking for a job... So I emailed her posing as a job consultant, luring her that I had a job that would exactly fit her requirements and to call me at my second mobile number which she did not have... Lured by the email, she too called that number... And I got to know her number... "

"Then..."

"After that it was not so difficult... I got to know the area from the number... Luckily for me, a friend of mine used to stay at MurugeshPalaya... His old number was quite close to her number... So she should be staying quite close, I thought... And anyway she had told me that she was new to Bangalore.... I set out on that Saturday morning looking for her... It did not take much time to locate the house... Just a few hours of roaming and asking a few people about someone having come new..."

"Well., you seem quite a criminal..."

Neeraj looked at Vimal & smiled. Vimal was sweating excessively.

"Then, we do not have much time.. Continue.."

"Then I went to her house... And got a shock... There were only 2 girls... Aabha was pretty... Her sister had had a paralytic attack on her legs... Her face was horrible too.. It was apparent that she had had burns of third degree in some fire accident... She immediately went inside some room once I went in"

"Then?"

"Aabha claimed innocence... Later, she attributed everything to her sister... "

"What?"

"Apparently, when they were living at Bombay, there was a fire accident in their house... And her sister got burnt in it... Her pretty face had turned horrible... And she got paralysis also.... "

"Okay..."

"On top of everything, when she saw her face after the incident, she got psychologically affected it seems... She stopped talking to everyone... And went into a shell... That was why they had moved to Bangalore it seems.... To bring her back to normal..."

"..."

"When I explained the case to Aabha, she found out that her sister started using the PC... Since she knew Aabha's chat id & password, she used that id to chat with strangers... "

"Why did she have to use Aabha's Id?"

"I do not know.. May be she thought she might get caught if there was her profile too present in the PC... Whatever..."

"Fine, go ahead..."

"And when Aabha checked the archives, she found that the sister has had this habit of seducing the stranger for the first two days and then abusing him... "

"Then..."

"Then nothing... She apologized and we came back..."

"What about seeing the email and making a phone call? Her sister again?"

"Should be..."

"All along you said, 'I'.. Suddenly you said 'We came back'..."

Vimal made sure he spoke before Neeraj does.

"Aah, that was me Sir. He had told me to wait at Kemp Fort. And we came home together... He meant that..."

The lawyer seemed quite unhappy.

"Is that so, Neeraj?"

"Yes Sir. What he says is correct.."

"I do not believe this..."

"Sir?"

"I believe you, my friend. I said I do not believe this Aabha's story. That it was her sister who had chatted with you..."

"May be Sir... Even I have that doubt..."

Once the session was over, Vimal thanked Neeraj for not informing the lawyer that it was his criminal idea that was used in finding her house and that he was waiting for Neeraj just outside the house and not in Kemp Fort. Otherwise, he too would have been dragged into the case.

The lawyer tried his best to argue that Neeraj had visited only on that morning and not in the night. Everyone (including his own lawyer) rejected the idea that it was her taciturn sister who chatted with Neeraj. It was termed as absurd accusation hurled at the mentally affected girl. And Neeraj never let it out that Vimal too was part of the spy team to locate Aabha. Why should he be caught also, Neeraj thought.

Under the police's pressure the witness-watchman said he remembered Neeraj going into Aabha's house in the night also. And it was all over. There was Neeraj's finger prints in the house, anyways. It was conclusively proved in the court of law that Neeraj had killed Aabha. And sentenced to 12 years RI. Vimal heaved a sigh of relief since the watchman had not noticed him that night.

Vimal had moved out of Amara Canopy to a small single BHK in Maruthi Nagar. He met his friend at Murugeshpalaya once.

His friend asked

"Do you think Neeraj would have done it?"

"Pata nahi yaar... May be... He was very angry at her.. Itna to pucca hai... "

"Hmm., At certain circumstances, man does become an animal..."

"Haan yaar... You know what, I was afraid if the watchman would have noticed when I had come to your house that day..."

"Oh Boy, that would have gotten you into the case... and probably me too..."

"Yeah... Luckily Neeraj did not talk anything about me... In fact, that is the main reason I suspect he would be the murderer..."

Neeraj was sitting in his cell in the jail wondering when his appeal would be taken up by the Karnataka High Court.

Aabha's family had since moved to Hyderabad. Her father had gone to Chennai on a business trip. Aabha's sister was sitting alone at home. There was no power. She was thinking about all the incidents that had happened in the past few months. She did feel guilty about killing her sister; but then she could not control her frustration that day, she thought. Already she was angry at her sister for being beautiful. On top, she did not like Neeraj ogle at her that morning. She could not sleep that night. The main source of her irritation was her sister. But for her sister, there would be no comparison at home for who is being beautiful. So in a spur of a moment, she had killed her using the age old pillow-no-breathing technique.

Power came back. She got busy. She started telling one Ramesh what a pleasant character he was.

The Nectar Hill (Part 6)

2005-08-28T02:48:00.000-07:00

When I woke up, I found myself in a semi-dark room. With some difficulty, I could see the time. It was 7 in the morning. My hands were tied. I felt very hungry. I got up and looked around that small room. It was totally empty. It had no place for ventilation too. There was one door but that was locked. My head started aching. I badly needed coffee. As I moved to sit at a corner, I stumbled upon something. It was the teddy that I had brought with me.

'Ie10... Ie10... Are you there? Where are we?' I whispered.

'I... No... Dying...'

I heard some unrelated words and then the teddy stopped talking. Did he say 'dying'? Is Ie10 dead? Oh, he said he was running out of battery. What to do now! I put the teddy at a corner and sat down.

Knock Knock...

'May I come in?' a female voice.

'...'

'Well, let me come in anyways!'

A beautiful (as seen in a semi-dark atmosphere) girl entered the room.

'Have your coffee, my dear' and she sat opposite me...

'Thanks...' I mumbled and started sipping the hot coffee. I desperately needed it. It felt better.

I could hear some voices outside the room now.

'I am going out now... Shall be back in an hour...'

'I do not understand why they aren’t letting us finish him off'

'Come on Pat, there should be a reason... Do as they say...'

'This is frustrating. Without knowing the bigger picture, it gets difficult to follow the orders...'

'This is the problem of hiring MBAs for these jobs... Listen Pat, this is not your corporate culture... This is secret intelligence... Where all sorts of nasty things happen...'

'Well... But... Okay, forget it... What do we do with him now?'

'Cheer up, Pat... It is against the rules, but let me be open with you... Our bosses believe this fellow has met the Andremedians already...'

'Oh, Really?'

'Yeah, So they do not want to kill him... Just have him under our control... And get the information..'

'That sounds great... Finally some light at the end of the tunnel... Shall I beat him up and get the information?'

'No, wait. Your friend would try first... Then you can get in if needed... '

'Oh... that way.... Ha Ha Ha Ha... Poor guy...'

His laugh was terrible! So this female would torture me now! Adrenalin was overflowing. There was the urge for fight or flight. But both seemed impossible. So I decided to wait till she starts. Now that Ie20 is dead, I just hoped Ponnan would come to save me.

She bolted the door first.

'Hey Darling... Why do you sweat so much?'

'Who are you people?'

'Uh Oh... That is not important... But you can call me Sophie'

She came near to me and started unbuttoning my shirts! I tried to resist but she was so powerful. I felt helpless. Already my work on the titillating post received enough condemnation. Now if something happens again, I wondered!

Once she removed my shirt, she started kissing me across my body. Such a beautiful female kissing me would have made me so happy at any other time. But now? I anyways started feeling horny. Suddenly, there was some commotion outside. I hoped Ponnan had arrived.

Sophie gave a big sigh, left me and peeped through the small hole.

'Hmm... Your friend fights well... But he is getting beaten up...' She said.

'Hey you Ares holes....' I gave her a huge kick!

She hit a rod on the wall and fell down unconscious. Blood was oozing out of her head.

The commotion outside continued. I could hear Ponnan screaming now. I should save him.

I moved across to open the door and get out when I heard a feeble voice.

'Venky, wait...'

Is it she? No. Oh it should be the teddy! Ie10 should be alive.

'Ie10, is it you?'

'Yes. No time to waste. Listen carefully. Connect a wire from the headphone outlet in this teddy's butt to that female's ears'

'Hey where will I go for a wire now?'

He had gone dead again!

Ponnan was getting heavily beaten up. Who do I save first? I slowly opened the door. I actually found that it was the other guy who was getting beaten up now. Ponnan has this strange way of screaming! I should get some wire now, I thought. As I looked around, I found a headphone itself! Great! Ie10 is lucky!!

I went in and did as he had instructed.

'Hey Darling...' Sophie got up again.

I was a little confused.

'Hey Mate, It is me...'

I heaved a sigh of relief.

'You are OK, Ie10?'

'Fine Pal, thanks. Thanks for giving me a human form!'

'You are welcome, come let us save Ponnan.'

We both went out. Ponnan had already butchered the MBA guy. He was lying semi-conscious.

Seeing the female with me, he sprang to hit her.

'Stop Ponnan. This is Ie10. Not that girl'

'My Lord... Are you sure?'

'Yeah Ponnan, come, let us get out of this place first. By the way, which place is this?'

'This is an apartment in the National Games Village, my lord... I reached here last night itself... But the security would not let me in... It took long to sneak in and locate the apartment...'

'I would be grateful to you for life, Ponnan'

'It is my duty, my Lord'

'Enough of your sentiments. We should go to a hospital first' said Ie10.

'Why?'

'Don’t you see the blood oozing out of my head?'

'Your head? Ah, it Sophie's head!'

'But for me to live in her brain, her body should remain, you moron... I already doubt she suffers from encephalitis...'

'Well call me a moron, I should have left you die in the teddy itself...'

'Why would I die in the teddy?'

'You were running out of battery... Dontya remember?'

'Yeah I needed battery to move the teddy, make it speak... But I had written myself to the flash! Don’t you understand that flash is non volatile?... This proves the worth of technical education in India...'

'Okay... You are smarter... Happy?'

'Yeah, take me to the hospital first...'

As we were going to the hospital, I had a silly pride that I was finally in the company of a beautiful girl.

There was not much damage to her/him/whatever. But the doctors advised rest for a week at least.

We had breakfast, then booked a CitiTaxi and headed to my apartment at BTM.

Ponnan & Ie10 were friends by now. It felt crazy to be associated with someone who lives in the past and someone who has come from 80.9 light years away!

'Ie10, I have an idea...' said Ponnan.

'Yes, Sir'

'Why don't you read the archive of this female and find out some details about them...'

'That is a brilliant idea... But as I said, she might suffer from encephalitis and many portions of the memory are not readable...'

'Oh, that is bad luck... You could have gotten into the other fellow's body... Shall we go back now?'

'No.' I almost shouted. I do not know why I had gotten possessive with this female. May be her kiss?

'Not of much help, Ponnan, said Ie10.'I think he does not have much information. He is new to this team. But I have already collected whatever I could from this female'

'Hmm... Who are they?'

'Before I say that, may I know why you did not want me to get rid of this Sophie, Mr. Venky?' asked Ie10 with enough sarcasm.

'Well, nothing... When you move out of the body, you are not able to restart the brain, right? I did not want to kill someone again... The receptionist was enough'

'Oh, how nice of you... You stupid fellow... I could sense it from the way you looked at me... You are attracted by this female... Tell me Yes or No...'

'Well... Have it a Yes...'

'Ha Ha Ha... In that case, change your mind, my friend...'

'Why?'

'As I was going through this person's memory, I find that this person was actually a male till recently... He was recently operated upon... To become a female...'

I almost puked thinking about the kissing scene sometime earlier. The taxi driver gave an odd look.

'Well, my Lord, please do not get distracted. Let us find out who they are first...'

'I shall tell once we reach home...' said Ie10 and gestured towards the driver to signal that he should not hear what was told.

We got down near Udupi Gardens and collected some anti viral medicines & Corticosteroids to avoid swelling in Sophie's brain.

Ponnan & I were very eager to find out who those people were, who were trying to kill me!

As we approached the door of my house, we found it open. We heard some voices inside. One was my house owner's. We slowly inched towards the door and listened to those voices.

'So what is the next step, Sir? I hope I will not get into trouble.' my house owner asked.

'Once he speaks out the information we want, he will be killed...' This should be one of those guys, may be the guy who said he would be back in an hour.

'Sir please, please do not get me into trouble...'

'You will not be suspected, Mr. Lingraj. He has enough enemies who would be suspected... '

What? Lingaraj is also involved in it? I could barely stand thinking about the hidden enemies I had.

[To be Continued...]

... $300 ...

2005-08-11T02:40:00.000-07:00

[This is a translation of a recent tamil story of mine that was received well in my tamil blog. Due to popular (read : 4-5 people) demand, I have translated it to English. Those of you who have read the tamil version might feel that the originality is lost.]

[Updated on 24th Sept - This got published here]

11 pm. Bangalore International Airport.

All of us, the passengers who arrived from Singapore, were coming out after a long wait for baggage collection. Looking at the only bag in my hand, the customs officer decided not to bother himself. The KempFort girl gave me an odd look as she gave me the bouquet. She had a reason. Usually people who go to the airport to receive someone would hold a placard with them! But I, who should be received, was holding one! I returned her smile and walked across. Little did I know 5 hours back that I would be carrying a placard!

Got a ticket to R.T Nagar from the prepaid counter for City Taxi. That is where Goutham's house is.

As usual, it had rained in Bangalore. And the place outside the airport was quite muddy. There was a lot of crowd. I held the placard that read 'AnanthaNarayanan' high enough. But I am sure the person with that name would not be noticing this. He would be eagerly waiting for his son to come out. As I was looking for a comfortable place to settle down till the crowd subsides,

'Doctor, my friends have come & I will leave now. I still feel very guilty for what happened at Singapore. Hope God forgives me. Buh Bye'

said Karthik, one of my fellow travelers on the SQ430 flight from Singapore and ran away to his friends waving the Chivas Regal that he had collected for them.

All the taxi & autowalahs seemed interested in getting me to my destination. I wished I get the same pampering from the autowalahs when I want to go from Koramangala to Bommanahalli.

The crowd subsided after a while. And the taxi-auto walahs too had decided I was not a worthy customer. There was a sparse crowd left and only one elderly couple was there. They should be the people I am looking for. The old man had long ears with lots of hair popping out of it. He had struggled to keep his belly inside his pants. Quite a funny caricature he would make. But then, this is not time for jokes, at least for him. So let me refrain from making fun of him. As I neared them, they seemed quite puzzled looking the placard.

"You are Ana... Mr. Anantharaman?"

"Yah... I am Mr. Anantharaman... But.. but... I do not know you..."

"My name is Srinivas... I am a friend of Goutham..."

The old lady was very tense by now.

"Where is Goutham? Dint he come?" asked she.

"No, he has not come. He wanted me to give this letter to you"

"But, but he spoke with me day before and said his tickets were confirmed too..." said she with some suspicion on me.

As he opened the letter, "He had even enabled his auto-reply in his email. I checked today... Did something happen midway?", asked the clever old man.

"Nothing happened Sir, do not worry... He had to go back to the US from Singapore due to unavoidable reasons... "

"What? He came up to Singapore and went back? What happened there?"

"Something wrong with his wife or kids? Please tell soon... I am feeling giddy.." The old lady could not stand it anymore.

"Nothing Aunty... You please do not worry... Come, let us go home... Goutham has told me to drop you at your place... "

As we got into the taxi, they started reading the letter Gautham had sent to them. And as they read it, why don't we move back a little in time and see what happened in Singapore!

Changi Airport, Singapore.

As soon as I got out of the SQ883 flight from Seoul, I ran to the Free Tour counter to get myself registered for the next city tour. There was a long queue over there. Apparently, there was a flight from San Francisco that had also landed only a little ago. And the next flight to Chennai/Bangalore was a good 6 hours away. So I could find a lot of Desi heads in the crowd. A little before me in the queue was this man with his wife and kids. He had all the looks of a person who had settled in the US years ago and who makes a biennial visit to India. He looked a South Indian while his wife was certainly from the North. And not to mention, his kids were looking absolutely Yankee.

Suddenly he started shouting at some group of young people ahead of him in the queue.

"Speak another word and you are dead, you sonofabitch..."

His eyes were totally red.

"Hurray..." shouted those mischievous looking youth and shared a high five! I was wondering what those guys would have commented about this poor NRI. He and his wife seemed to be arguing about something for a long time. All I could hear was the word "atrocious" many times. I was thinking if it was about those youth or some fight between the husband & wife.

Half an hour of the two hour tour got eaten up in getting out of the airport itself. That mischievous bunch of guys sat next to me in the tour bus. Was as little afraid if I would be able to hear the guide if these guys keep shouting. But luckily they did not disturb too much. Only the guide was irritating with his terrible laughter after every sentence. We went around the Singapore City and saw all places from within the bus itself! Since the 'National Day' of Singapore was to arrive soon, many roads were closed for some parade exercises. But the guide was deft enough to take us to the Singapore river for a boat ride. I helped those trouble mongering guys in clicking some good snaps.

In our way back to the airport, one of those guys spoke with me.

"Hello.."

"Hi.."

"My name is Karthik... We are all coming from the US... And we are going to Bangalore.."

"Oh, I am Srinivas... I am a doctor... I am also going to Bangalore... I am coming from a conference in Seoul... So, you guys work in the US, eh?"

"No.. No.. We all work in Bangalore... We had gone onsite for some integration work... After 9/11 lots of work has got outsourced... So not many chances to permanently settle down there..."

"Yeah... I understand... But I think you guys get paid well enough in India itself... And even the standard of living is coming up... Right?"

"Yeah very much... Please go and tell this to the guy sitting in the second row..." and he pointed to that NRI I had seen in the queue.

"What is the problem between you guys... I saw you fighting in the airport also..."

"Yeah, we have been having arguments from SFO itself... He feels he can talk anything... All in the arrogance that he has a US citizenship... "

"..."

"He started a fight when we were in the check in queue itself... 'Desi Buggers' he says... What was he 10-15 years back? And his wife... Baah... Talks too much... That whore..."

"Hey..."

"Sorry, I should not have used that word... But I think she deserves it... We had a lot of arguments later on.. India does not have this, that... He has a complaint on every aspect of life in India... "

"Hmm..."

"Too arrogant people, I tell you... Just because he was born 10 years before, he is there now... Otherwise, he would also be here... What right do these guys have in talking about India?"

"Yeah..."

"If India is so bad, why should they visit India at all...?"

"Well, I agree with whatever you say, Karthik... But, if you do not mind, I would like to make a comment..."

"Oh Yes, Go ahead..."

"As a third person, if I observe what you speak, it seems more of jealousy that you have not been able to what he is..."

He stared at me for a while. And then said "May be...". We did not speak a word after that. As we were getting down the bus, I found that the NRI looked very disturbed. Something had caused him so much of pain. For some strange reason, I felt very angry at Karthik & Co.

Again, Changi Airport.

Bought some chocolates for the kids next door. Two more hours were left for the boarding of the Bangalore flight. I remembered my travel agent giving me a coupon for some lounge in the airport. The travel by Skybus from terminal 1 to 2 and then a long walk took 15 minutes to find that RainForest lounge.

Was waiting at the reception to show my entry pass and get permission to get in. Karthik & Co were shooting the tigers & lions in the reception with their digicams. Suddenly, from the internet center nearby, the person called a "whore" by Karthik came rushing outside and shouting at the top of her voice.

"This is the limits Goutham... Bahut ho gaya abhi... What does your brother think of himself..."

Her husband was coming behind.

"Savita, listen to me, please.. He is a frustrated soul.. Do not bother about what he says... Even we have made mistakes..."

"Whatever it is... I am not going to his place... If you want, you please go ahead..."

And she went inside the lounge. Goutham held his head in shame and followed her to escape the prying eyes around. Was wondering from her behavior if Karthik was correct.

The taxi had crossed the junction at the Airport Road now. From here there should be a smooth flow of traffic. Since the old couple had completed the letter, let us look at the Singapore episode a little later.

"Oh God, why did he do this... It is all because of that demon of the wife he chose..." the old lady opined.

"Hmm... I do not know what to do now... Even this Siddharth... Does foolish things... If he wants to fight, he should do it after they reach... Wonder what he wrote in the email..." said the exasperated old man.

"Since the kids were coming too, I made a lot of snacks for them... The smaller one likes my chaklis very much..."

"Would you shut up, please... As if snacks are so important... I was dreaming that we would meet our son after 2 years.... And it remains just that now..."

"I told you hundred times... to forget all this America things... He could have got some job here itself... You dint listen... And sent him there... Now it looks like we might never meet him again..."

"Pch... Why are you crying now? We will meet him again... Don’t worry... "

"..."

"And don’t talk as if I am the reason for all mistakes... We live so comfortably here just because he went there... Where did you get all these jewels from?"

"I do not want any of these... I just want my son now..."

"Think a little practically... Our lives are going on only by the 300 dollars that he send every month... You think Siddharth would give a damn if that is not there...?"

"..."

"Gautham knows that... That is why he has written that even though he would not come, he would send the 300 dollars every month..."

"Hmm., what did this Siddharth write in the email? Will go and blast him now..."

We had reached cantonment station by then. I was not knowing how to react listening to their family issues. Understanding my predicament, they too stopped talking. Let us rewind a bit and go to Singapore again.

I entered the RainForest lounge, picked up a Cappuccino and sat in a table. In a short while, Goutham and family occupied the table opposite mine. The fight was till on. The half asleep kids of theirs looked so confused. All other tables fell silent, including the one of Karthik & Co.

"Dekho Gautham, after this kind of an insult, do you think any sane person would go and meet your brother?"

"Please do not take it an insult, my dear..." Gautham was literally pleading.

"What do you mean? I read the email... 'Do not get that bitch here'... How can you stand this Gautham?"

"Na Na... It was a mistake, I agree... Lekin mere maa-baap bhi hain na udhar?"

"To kya hua? Do they at least try to restrain him? I am NOT going to go to your place, come what may... The kids & I will take the next flight to Delhi from Bangalore... You do what you want..."

"Oh my Gawd..." Gautham put his hand on his chest and fell from the chair.

We reached their house. So the rest of the Singapore episode shall come later. I wanted to leave immediately. But the old couple wanted me to have "at least a cup of water" at their place. Since even I was interested in meeting that "frustrated soul" I went in.

I was seated in a sofa & they went in. There were a lot of voices from inside, sometimes loud and sometimes not. I could hear at least four distinct voices. Should be the old couple, their son and his wife. After a while, one fellow came out and offered me "fridge water". He should be that Siddharth. After a few seconds of silence, he started.

"Well, thanks for dropping back my parents. Inform him that he or his family should never ever come here again... Sorry to scold them in front of you, I think you would be a close friend of theirs..."

"No... I am not a close friend of theirs... I met them in the Singapore Airport.. That was it..."

The old lady now came out... She could not control her tears flowing now...

"Hey Siddharth... What did you write in the email that Gautham decided like this..." she asked.

"Nothing... I told him not to get that Savita here... I never told him not to come... He is a hen pecked fellow... I cannot help it..."

"What is your problem is she comes... She anyway stays only for 3-4 days... And then goes to Delhi..."

"Aah, She creates a hell in just 3-4 days.... You remember, what she did last time? She was not letting the children eat the chaklis you made... Nor did she let her play with my children... Hygiene, it seems... What, all of us are living in streets, eh?"

"But see... He has now written that he will never come here again... How all we had dreamed about you guys living harmoniously together..."

"Oh... Stop it ma... You tell me Sir, these people sent him to engineering college, spent on his visa and sent to the US... In return for all that, he married someone there itself.. And would come here once in two years to show off... For the small piece of bread that he would throw, even these people would listen to all that he says..."

I could understand why Gautham called him a frustrated soul. But I did get a feeling that there was some amount of justification in his frustration.

Gautham's father got very angry on hearing this.

"Why do you talk like this in front of a third person?"

Siddharth also got angry.

"Why? Why not? Don't scold me... Think what all he would have told this person about us while giving the letter... That is why, I am telling him the truth now..."

I felt very uneasy and decided to leave immediately.

"Well, nothing like that... He did not tell anything... I am getting late now... The taxi is waiting too... I shall leave..."

"Okay Sir, Thanks again... It is already late.. You leave..."

As I was coming out of their house, I was wondering what would be their reaction if I tell the complete truth about what happened in Singapore.

All of us, including Karthik, rushed to get Gautham up. He was made to lie on a sofa over there. He had a massive heart attack. With the minimum facilities available, I tried some first aid. It would take 15 minutes for the doctors to come, they said. But he died before that. The dead bodies of American citizens too get a lot of respect, I found at that day. Savita is a very brave female. She did not panic at all. She called up the US Embassy in Singapore and started making the arrangements to take his body back to the US.

Savita, the person who looked a whore to someone and a bitch to someone else came to me.

"Hello Doctor, I hope you are going to Bangalore."

"Yes, I am"

"Would you do me a favor?"

"Yes....., Sure...."

She explained me how Gautham's parents and brother were dependent on him for their living and how shocked they would be on hearing his death. Since they hated Savita, they would not accept any help from her too and their life would be in trouble.

So she did not want to go to India. She wanted to go back to the US. She did not tell me anything about her relatives in Delhi. Nor did I ask her anything about that.

She wanted me to write a letter to Gautham's parents, as written by Gautham. It should convey that after seeing Siddharth's email, Gautham & family got angry and went back to the US. They would never come back to India. But every month 300 dollars would be sent to them for their expenses.

I gave her a confused look once I finished writing. She understood my puzzled look.

"I will send the money every month... After all, this is the least I could do for my Gautham..." Her eyes were moist by now.

"I am very sorry, we should not have spoken like that...." It was Karthik behind. He felt they too were a reason for Gautham's heart attack.

As I got in to the taxi, Siddharth came out.

"Sir, you left your chocolates inside..."

"Oh.. Thanks... Bye.."

"Sir, one more thing..."

"???"

"He promised to send those 300 dollars regularly, right?"

...Ajuba Ajuba...

2005-07-15T22:46:00.000-07:00

"Listen Deepak, You got to think from a larger perspective... You have been given chances... And you will be given more... I know you are mature enough... And will understand..."

I stared at him for while... My blood started boiling... I left the room without speaking a word.... He has been telling me that I would travel to the US, for six months now... And today he says, someone else will, for reasons like he having more relevant experience... Crap... Bullshit of a manager he is... And bullshit of management he does... What larger perspective? That fellow put in his papers... And is being pampered now... At my expense... Just two weeks, let me too resign... And he will fall at my feet...

Or so I thought - Till I met her...

She is AJUBA... She joined my company the same day that this incident above happened... And it so happened that she sat on the same floor as I do... I have never seen a beauty like her on earth... Nor would you have... Not that we both have visited Mars...

The thought of finding a job was put in the back burner... Got some information about her from a friend of mine, Prasad, in the same team that she joined... She is a junior to me in B.E... And after that she has gone to the US for an MS in VLSI Design... US of A.... Hmm... And I am a small town boy!! But more importantly, she is an Iyer... So that should not cause too much of heartburn to my parents... Of course, it took some effort to bluff something and get rid of Prasad's grilling questions of why I wanted to know about her...

We were four of us, who ganged up quite often... Narayan, Srinivas, Karthik & me... We had joined the company together... So be it for tea, snacks or lunch, we would be together... Sometimes Prasad also joined us...

I started losing interest in everything once I met her... Used to follow her, wherever she went inside the office... Except the loo.... While having tea (she with her group and me with my group), while having lunch and a lot of other such instances, we used to steal glances... I did not get courageous enough to talk to her.. Nor was foolish enough to talk to my friends about it... I would be teased to death if I do that... But annoyingly, Prasad was getting closer and closer to her...

Soon after, 'Annual Day' functions happened at my office... I was the star performer... I enthralled the audience with my histrionics, dance and what not... She too was impressed... Soon after the prize distribution, she congratulated me... I wanted to talk something more... But could not do that in the melee for free food...

I wanted to talk to her desperately after this incident... I found a good chance on a Friday... It was 10 in the night... Only she & I were present in the office... Prayed to all my Gods and went to her seat... But she was not there... She had just left the seat... I could see her near the door... Without bothering to shutdown my PC, I ran towards the door and reached the lift just in time... The lift had a lot of people... So could not open up even there... But she did smile at me when I reached the lift... That was enough for the day... I could linger of that for many more hours, I thought... Once we reached the ground floor, she left with someone very fast... With a sense of accomplishment, took out my bike and whistled my way home...

What a surprise... As I was nearing the Cantonment station, I saw her walking alone towards the station... Stopped the bike in front of her...

"Hi.."

"Hai..." and she smiled again...

"Goin to the station?" I tried some American accent...

"Yeah... I go to Chennai every weekend... Well, I forgot your name..."

"I am Deepak... I know that you are Ajuba...."

"Oh great... how do you know?"

"You know what... Everyone knows the name of a beautiful girl the first day he meets her... And he cannot forget it..."

"Oh Come On Deepak..."

"Sit down, I will drop you at the station..." and glanced my pillion seat...

"No.. Thanks... Why to trouble you... I have enough time... I can walk down..."

"Come on... It is not a trouble... And I am also going to the Cantonment, to receive a friend of mine..."

"Then OK... Thank you..." and sat behind me...

The whole of 26 years of my existence seemed inconsequential in those 5 minutes of the ride when she was holding her hands on my shoulders... I felt I was flying... During my college, I used to be in female company more than my friends did... But I never got a crush on any girl... In fact, I have ignored a few girls when they got a crush on me... But then, no one of them could be compared to Ajuba... More than her beauty, it is her body language, her way of talk and her style that attracted me... And to top it all, she did not have carry any pride of having studied in the US of A...

We were talking for a long time... She was telling me her family stories and stories about USA and what not... Meanwhile, I was admiring this piece of work of God, to which every attire seemed to fit, be it western or North Indian or South Indian... The train came to stop us...

"Where is your friend? When is he coming?" she asked as she was getting in.

"That was a lie... No friend is coming... I came just to drop you... Sorry...." and I laughed.

"I had guessed it... Thanks a lot, Deepak" and she gave a romantic look!

I could not control myself... The heart was getting so heavy... Is this what is called love, I wondered... I was standing there for a long time after the train had left...

Next Day... At Woody's, Commercial Street... My friends had somehow got to know that I had dropped her at the station the previous day... First they made me agree that I was in love with her... And then the rain of advices started...

Ram - Dude, Inform your parents first. I don’t think they would agree. More so, you have a sister. Remember that!

This guy is a coward and he would not let others be bold too!

Karthik - Machi, she is from the US... Have that in mind... Just because she smiled at you does not mean that she would marry you...

This guy is a psycho... He is a chauvinist...

Narayanan - Deepak, first make sure she likes you... Do not build hopes in you just to see that crashing some day... I am afraid that she might emotionally exploit you...

To top it all, Prasad, the only friend of hers in our group had the biggest shock news to reveal...

Prasad - Yes Deepak, first confirm with her... She told me once that she is in love with someone...

I was sweating like anything by this time... Got out of the place immediately... The thought process was normalized after 2 Kings were puffed in... Should somehow bring this to some logical end by Monday, I decided...

I spoke with my parents during the weekend... They did not comment anything... This was kind of expected for them... Only my Granny was a little apprehensive of marrying someone other than the VADAMAL sub sect... But my father kind of convinced her...

Monday!

Reached office as early as 7.30 am... I wanted to be sure that everything was set perfectly before I could speak to her... But then, it never happens that everything goes as per the script... My team lead got some urgent work that day at home... And he had to make a hell a lot of documents... He called me sharp at 8 and told me to "take care" of everything... Which means, the chances of talking to her became very less!

I went to the cafeteria with a heavy heart that my plans have been shattered. There was a long day ahead. What I saw there irked me. Prasad & Ajuba were sitting next to each other and laughing aloud at some joke. They stopped laughing the moment they saw me! And that irked me even more. My imagination ran wild. Is Prasad her lover? Is that why he was making some indirect statements about she being in love? If that is going to be the case, I will kill Prasad. He is a kiddo. He does not deserve her! They said 'Hi' and finished their breakfast in a jiffy and went away!

The whole of the morning was consumed in work, work and nothing but work. I got out of the seat only for lunch. As we were having lunch, I noticed that Ram was not there. Wondered why. I did not ask anyone. And no one offered an explanation too. They know that I do not like to talk too much when I have lots of work to be done.

As we went outside the office for a sutta, I could not believe my eyes. Ram & Ajuba were coming opposite. As we reached them, she said a common 'Hi' to everyone and went inside the office. Ram joined us.

"Hey Ram, how was the party" Narayan asked

"Too good maaan... Never expected such a party from Ajuba... The best birthday lunch I have ever had..."

What??? Is it her birthday today? Why no one told me? And why is she taking Ram alone for a party? What am I supposed to understand by this? Nothing. It is all clear now. Ajuba likes Ram! And I am a foolish fellow, going behind her. At least Ram could have told me this before! With lot of thought in mind, I made an early exit from the sutta session and went inside the office. I could hear a big peal of laughter behind my back!

Again it was work, work and work the whole of the afternoon! As I was checking for emails for any updates on the design document from the emulation team, I found a forward from Narayan. Some crap about love & romance was there in it. He always sends such sentimental crap. As I was about to press Shift & Del, I noticed that it had been sent by Ajuba to him, and only to him. That made me read the mail again. It was full of romantic statements that should be sent only by a lover! So this is not a forward from Ajuba to Narayan. She has SENT it to him. And this fellow was forwarded it to me! Which means, Narayan wants me to indirectly know that it is he who Ajuba is in love with! I was confused to the core.

I got a short break for coffee around 4 pm. As we were having coffee, Prasad threw another bomb at me..

"Deepak, I told Ajuba that you are in love with her... She told she would talk to you today... Actually,..."

Before he could complete, I got a phone call from my lead again... Apparently the client had called him and demanded for the design document at the earliest... I rushed down to the seat... It was all ready... But had to review it once before sending...

It was 6.30 pm. I was finally done with all the work... As I got up to go out for a smoke again, to think about all things that had happened in the day, I found Ajuba standing in front of me...

"Hai..."

Ah... What a smile... This smile is what did me in... And God knows how many others...

"Hi... Happy Birthday"

"Thanks... Shall we go for coffee?"

"Sure..." But what the hell is it for?

Cafeteria! With a coffee mug!

"Yes, you want to talk something?"

"You look very angry..." and laughed...

"No... Not at all... Lots of work today... So a little tired..."

"Well, I understand... Actually... I am in love..."

"Oh Yeah, Prasad told me... Who is that lucky chap?"

"Well, he is the same floor as we sit... Can you guess?"... And probed into my eyes...

I was least interested in this now... If she was not going to be mine, why should I care... This female, sure, is bold enough... Has fun with Prasad in the morning, goes for lunch with Ram in the afternoon, sends love emails to Narayan later and now wants me to guess...

"Let me give you a clue... He is in the firmware team..."

"Oh..."

Firmware team? That means, Prasad & Ram are ruled out.. And that means, it is Narayan... Narayan, you silent killer... I won’t leave you.... And you advised me of emotional exploitation man...

"Still cannot guess... I am getting as close to naming the person... Well, he has a french beard and he dances well..."

"What? Just a minute..."

Narayan does not have french beard, nor can he dance... That means - it is Karthik... You psycho, are you going to get this girl? Man, sure love is blind and it looks to be dumb too...

"You still did not understand? Or are you acting?"

"Actually... Well..."

"Oh my God, I am sure you are the most unromantic person the world..."

What? Unromantic? Ah, that is when I realized that I too was in the firmware team, I sported a french beard and I danced well too! Which means, she was talking about me all along and I could not understand it!

"What Sir? What are you still thinking?"

"Well... Nothing.. I had a lot of unwanted thoughts all through the day..."

"Ha Ha Ha Ha... I know what they are... Let me tell you...

You told your friends about your love last weekend... And Prasad was telling that to me this morning... And I too revealed that it was you who I loved... So Prasad was making fun of both of us for not having talked about it so far... And we were laughing at that when you came in... Well, you would have made your own guesses then.... Ha Ha Ha

I decided to take you guys on a party in the afternoon for my birthday... And planned to propose to you there... But your friends said you were very busy the whole day... And they too did not want to join... Since it was planned, only Ram joined me... As we came back, we saw you coming out of the office and Ram immediately made plans of teasing you... That is why I went in straight... Well, that would have confused you again...

Right?"

"HeHe... Yes your guess is right... But..but.. I am still confused about the email to Narayan..." I was blushing beyond limits...

"What email?... Oh... that... Aah, I had picked up that email to send to you... But this crazy guy Narayan saw that and sent it to himself... I thought he would have sent it to his fiancée... Never knew he would forward to you..."

"Oh... He sure is a crazy chap.. Forget all that... how long have you been in love with me?"

"Hmm... Long enough, my lord... At first, I was a little irritated when you used to continuously follow me... Slowly I got attracted... The melting point was the annual day functions... When you enthralled everyone with your performances... I madly wanted to talk to you after that... But I had a fear of rejection... After Prasad talked to me this morning, I got bold enough..."

"Aah.... Great... You know how long I have been waiting for this moment... I never got the courage to talk... Guess that is the difference between an American educated girl and a small town boy in India... Well, if you had been in love for so long, why did you ask for my name that day?"

"Oh... That day, but do you remember, even you said your friend was going to come... Ha Ha Ha" she laughed uncontrollably...

"You.. you cheat..." and I grabbed her to hug..

"Hey.. dont get naughty in the office..." She pushed me and ran away...

"Hey Ajuba... You know what.. I have spoken to my parents too... They are OK with this...Are you a VADAMA?"

"Even I have spoken... My parents are OK too.. No, I am a CHOZHIYA... And the only condition my Dad has is that the groom should be a CHOZHIYA too..." and faded away...

.. Sun Sunah ...

2005-07-08T22:59:00.000-07:00

I just love you.

The words kept resonating in my head for a long long time. May be because this is the first time I am encountering such words in my life. Whatever it is, it felt very good!

I am Sun. Till recently Sundar. Sundaresan before that. Even before, Sundaresan Natesan. While Sundaresan Natesan gave way to Sundaresan in school, I became Sundar in college and just Sun, when Sunah, the hot chick in my team asked if she could call me just Sun. As long as a hot chick is ready to call you, does it really matter how she calls you?

All my schooling was in BOYS ONLY schools. So have never even been in the vicinity of female company for over 60% of my life. And even in college, my diminutive structure never helped, with a lot of hunks fighting for the limited females in the college. We had a ratio of 50:1 of the boy & girls. You can imagine.

And then I joined this darned software development company. Have been here for over a year now. It is here that I learnt that girls are only of two kinds - who got boyfriends when they were in college and girls who had boyfriends even before. So nothing pretty much could be done. Realizing my predicament, my parents started looking out for my marriage. But it was too early to get married, I thought. They did find a girl from an obscure small town in TamilNadu. Apparently she was studying BCS in a God darned college there.

I was certainly not interested in her. After all, I need some intellectual companion you know. Not someone whose world view is limited to 50 Kms around her town. My parents were insisting on me meeting her and later mating her. I tried to explain them about my requirements of someone being an intellectual & emotional companion. But they said such a girl would not cooperate with them in household chores. They are people of the last century. I told them clearly that her ability to copulate would get more marks than her ability to cooperate (in household chores!)

It was then that I got this helluva offer to go to the US for about a year. I decided to take it up at least for avoiding that obscure girl.

I landed in the land of milk & honey about a month ago. It took a while to get accommodated to this alien culture. But certainly, I enjoyed every bit of it. After all, in most places of India, you cannot sit next to a woman in a bus and certainly cannot put your hand on her thigh. No woman kisses you on the cheek. But Sunah does. So often.

Sunah is the hot chick in my team. She is just out of college. All of 23 years old. Talks a lot. Dresses to the bare minimum. I having never been in female company did not help matters at all. I was feeling horny at the drop of a hat. Yeah, every time she dropped her hat on the floor and bent to pick it up, I could see her mid riff and felt horny. And she has this nasty habit of touching me while talking. After every statement, she would pat me, pinch me and what not! Now you would believe that I enjoyed every bit of the life here.

During my weekend phone calls, my mother used to give me that small town girl's phone number/chat id and insist that I should talk to her. I never even bothered to note them down.

Day by day, Sunah & I were getting more & more friendlier. She discussed every aspect of her life with me, or so I thought. She was new to the UNIX operating system and its incomprehensible VI editor. And I was an expert in it. Every evening, after the office hours, I would teach her the intricacies of VI. And then we would talk about anything and everything in the world ad infinitum.

Everybody who thought he was anybody was getting jealousy. Relax guys; after all, I have got a hot chick being close to me for the first time in over a quarter century! Your day would come.

One day, Sunah invited me to her home. She wanted to learn the VI editor over a weekend. The evening sessions were not enough, she felt. She wanted all of it done one shot. Nice plot to invite me home, I thought. And once I agreed to her proposal of going to her place the next weekend, she said - I just love you. And that was what was resonating through my mind for a long long time.

I was waiting with bated breath for the weekend to come. This is going to be my first date of any kind. And it is going to be at her home. Would she actually want me to do it? You never know, these Americans are just crazy. Not to be outdone, I decided to carry a pack of condoms with me.

The weekend finally came. I wore the best shirt I had. And made sure that the underwear I wore was a new one without any holes in it, just in case! The condoms were safely put deep inside the pocket. It should not be visible and obvious the moment I enter her home.

It was already late. So I took a cab to reach her place. Bus would take more time. Of course a bus would cost only a tenth of the cab. But who cares? I am not the typical desi would multiple everything by 45. After all, Sun & Sunah make a great pair. And their union should not be delayed by a bus!

I reached her home sharp at 11 am. After knocking the door, I stood in a very romantic posture with the costliest bouquet I had picked up from the neighboring flower shop. Actually, my posture looked quite awkward; but that is not important now.

The door opened. And as I tried to give a romantic smile, I saw a hunk standing in front of me.

Hiya Sun, I am Robert.

Hi.....

Well, come in... Sunah, Sun is in....

And Sunah came out of the bed room to the living. She was dressed in a black transparent dress, whatever they call it. But I was not feeling horny. The thought of who that Robert was, nagged me.

You are right on time, Sun... Thanks...

You are welcome, but I guess you got some guests.... May be we got to have the classes on another day...

Guests? Who guests? Oh, Robert!.... Ha Ha Ha Ha... He isn’t a guest... That was a nice joke... We can have the classes today itself...

I was utterly dejected.

Fine, shall we start?

Yeah you can start in another 10 minutes... Robert & I are actually going out now... You can start once we leave...

What? You are going out? And who will I teach?

Oh Oh, my bad... I dint tell you this.... Actually, the classes are for my granny-in-law... She is in the drawing room there already playing with the computer....

Your in-law? Are you married?

Well... We are not married yet.... Robert & I met were in the college together... We dated each other for sometime and even should have had a kid... But I aborted... We have been living together since... If all goes well, my might get married next year! Granny, come here... See the UNIX expert is here to teach you...

Out came a 85 year old bitch.

But, but... You want me to teach UNIX to her?

Yeah Sun... She has been learning only for 3-4 months... But he has already mastered a lot of things in computers... She even owns a technical blog that gets 1000 hits a day...

Well darling, it is getting late... Shall we move... said Robert, that bastard!

Yeah... Bye Bye Sun... Thanks for coming... We will be back by the evening and Robert would drop you back at home...

And then I took that 85 year old nerdy bitch to the computer, making sure the condom was deep into my pocket & thinking of ways to get out of the place as soon as possible....

And something told me to collect the phone number of my small town princess from my Mom...